#I DID IT I FINISHED AN AU WEEK !!!! it only took 3 years

[cityselcouth]

for research purposes

pairing: caleb x reader

summary: how on earth were you supposed to write a good sex scene with almost zero experience? good thing your best friend was always willing to lend you a helping hand.

themes: childhood best friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, friends with benefits, college! au, slowburn, humour, fluff, angst, petnames, profanity, alcohol consumption, sexual tension, explicit sexual content (oral fem receiving, fingering, nipple play, protected + unprotected sex, clothed sex), porn with so much plot, they're both down bad asf

word count: 25k

lyns notes: its been so long since i've written a full length fic like this, and it ended up being so much longer than I anticipated but please don't get scared by the wc 😭 its so self indulgent because i love caleb and I had way too much fun writing this so I hope you enjoy! <3

This was utterly insane, even for you.

The idea started small, though you supposed you couldn’t ever classify it as innocent. At the time, it had been just a flicker, a fleeting thought that slipped through the cracks of your composure. You were in your best friend's dorm, lounging on his bed like it was your own as you complained. 

“I’ve been stuck for weeks now. It’s like I’ve lost the ability to write.”

Caleb glanced over at you from his desk, leaning back in his plush chair as the movement of his fingers over the laptop keyboard stilled for a moment. The expression you received was familiar, you had been on the receiving end of it for years now. One of his lips quirked up, deep lavender eyes alight with amusement, and one eyebrow raised as he took in your anguished state. 

“You haven’t lost the ability to write, Pipsqueak, it's just writer's block. You’ve had writer's block before.”

“Not like this.” You shook your head, pulling your knees to your chest and resting your chin on them. “I usually manage to overcome it in a week or so. It’s been like, three months.”  Your annoyance with yourself was obvious to him, so clear in the slight pout on your mouth paired with that indignant expression.

It was true, you had been writing ever since you were little. Your imagination ran wild as a child, even before you could physically write, you would spin tales and make up stories to entertain yourself with, frequently getting lost in your own little world. You prided yourself on this talent of yours that helped you breeze through English essays and writing assignments, even going so far as to major in English at university. Writing was your bread and butter. It was more than just being good at it, it was the passion and fulfilment you felt when you did it. 

Passion and fulfillment your ass, you couldn’t feel any of that right now.

You were writing a book, your very first one that you started penning in the summer before your sophomore year. The idea had come to you out of nowhere, and once you spent hours outlining all the details, you were certain it was something you wanted to bring to life. The need to finish it burned through you as you spent most of that break stuck at your desk, hunched over your laptop. Caleb had to quite literally drag you out of your room most days, muttering some nonsense about vitamin D and too much screen time.

He had always been like that ever since you were kids – protective, caring, attentive. It was built into his very being, you supposed, ever since he saw you cry outside the first-grade classrooms as a seven-year-old and promised to help you find your way to the correct one. Even now, as he hummed in thought, offering silent support for your frustration. 

“You’ve gotten through a large chunk of it, right?”

“Yep.”

A slow, bargaining smile stretched out on his face. “Hey, you know, maybe if you let me read it–”

“Hell no.” You shook your head stubbornly. “I told you, I’m only letting you read it once it's finished, and I think it’s good enough.”

Caleb snorted, “So you mean never?”

You promptly threw one of the plushies on his bed at him. He deftly caught it, laughter slipping from him as he threw it back. The plushy was a grumpy apple one that he had won you back home at the arcade, but the pile of plushies on your bed was so huge that you graciously suggested that he keep it for you. Partial custody, you had joked, I have visitation rights.

“You’ll be the first to read it. I just….need to get through this one bit.” 

Ah yes, the bit. The part that you seemed to be cursed to never finish. Everything before it had gone so smoothly, the words flowing and pouring out of you so perfectly. A fun romance novel full of twists and humour was what you aimed to achieve, and it seemed like you were succeeding.

That was, until you reached a part of the story that you truly had no idea how to write. The technicalities of it were.…..unknown at best, to you, who had almost no experience in the matter. 

“You know, maybe you could tell me about it. Maybe I could help.” You knew the offer was genuine. Caleb had always been someone you could fall back upon for any assistance. Being two years older than you, in your eyes, he always knew what to do when you were in a pickle. He was the type of friend who placed bandages on your scrapes and offered you candy so you’d stop crying. He carried a hair tie around for when you wanted to tie your hair and helped you study for tests, and explained the concepts that you didn’t understand. Every time you had a problem, he never hesitated to help you in any way he possibly could.

But this….this was something you’d rather die than ask him about. 

Immediately, you shook your head a little too quickly, shooting him a tight smile. “Nope, it's fine. Just something I gotta figure out myself.

He stared at you skeptically but shrugged. “Alright. Let me know if you change your mind, okay?”

You wouldn’t.

Would you?

Absolutely not. Even thinking about it felt like a betrayal. It was like opening a can of worms that held snakes. Deadly venomous ones. 

And yet here you were, your teeth digging into the plush of your lower lip as he turned back to his laptop screen, continuing to work on whatever assignment he had due. He was in his final year and was infinitely busy, though he somehow still managed to make time for you. 

Shamelessly, your eyes studied him. His arms, so well defined and firm-looking, were basically on display for you when he wore that white, sleeveless tee. Dark hair, unruly and messy, no matter how many times you ran your fingers through it in an attempt to fix it. A defined jawline that could probably cut you if you dared touch it. He had grown up unfairly well, no longer the lanky young boy you once knew, now a man. A hot man you had incredible chemistry with.

A very hot man who was completely off-limits. 

Still. You supposed that his help couldn’t be the worst thing in the world–

A sex scene. That was what you were struggling to right. In terms of the story, it was a very natural next move for your characters, and it made sense, and while you could simply artistically describe the ordeal and fade to black, you felt it was a necessary addition. You wanted to showcase the desperation the two characters felt for each other, just how deep their feelings ran through something more primal. You wanted it to feel right, to feel magical. 

The issue? You hadn’t the faintest idea of how to go about it. In all your nineteen years of life, you had only had sex once, and it had been far from magical. It had been uncomfortable and rushed, the result of a very stupid, drunken one-night stand in your first year. The guy very evidently didn’t know how a woman's body worked, and even thinking back on it made you cringe and fold in on yourself. If it were possible to manually pluck the memory out and destroy it, you would have done it in a heartbeat.

So how on earth were you supposed to write the perfect sex scene when your one sole experience in the matter had been so terrible?

And you couldn’t ask Caleb for help. Even considering doing so made you feel as if you would spontaneously combust. He was your best friend, for crying out loud, and this crossed so many lines. You knew very well that he wasn’t a virgin by any means, having caught glimpses of the occasional hickey on his neck despite his best efforts to hide it from you. He was twenty-one, experienced and could probably talk you through it–

Nope. Not going here. 

The idea of Caleb explaining sex to you was mortifying. You didn’t want to hear about any of his conquests, even just the thought of him talking about it made you want to throw up. The notion of him having sex only made your cheeks warm and your throat go uncomfortably dry.

Against your will, the thought festered. It burrowed its way into your mind and settled there as if it belonged, despite its having no business being there. This was completely unethical, but before you could stop yourself, your gaze zeroed in on his tongue darting out of his mouth, licking his lips in concentration as he typed out something. For a second, you wondered how it would feel if he dragged that tongue across the skin of your neck.

Oh my god. What if he simply showed you?

The moment that depraved idea popped into your head, you shot up, getting to your feet with urgency. Startled, he looked over at you, frowning at the alarmed look on your face.

“Are you good?”

“I’m great!” Your voice sounded funny, like you were trying to digest a rock. “I just– er– remembered I have some homework to finish for tomorrow. So I should get back to my room.” You padded over to his door, slipping into your shoes and waving at him. “See ya.”

“....Bye.” He watched your awkward, rushed movements with a puzzled look on his (very nice) face.. You nodded curtly before opening the door and escaping the confines of his dorm, out of his scrutinising gaze that could read you annoyingly well. Another minute in there and you knew he would be grilling you for your odd behaviour. 

Jesus Christ. You were so screwed.

“Y/n? Girl, you gotta get your head in the game.”

Tara’s voice cut through your reverie, causing you to snap out of it. One glance up at her would reveal an unimpressed look directed at you, her hands on her hips. “Our darling editor wants to know why your article isn’t on her desk yet.”

Tara was your closest friend after Caleb, and you had met her when you joined the university paper as a student journalist. She was smart, pretty and always had your back no matter what. Blinking rapidly, you sighed, waving your hand. 

“Tell Jenna I’ll have it there by the end of the day.”

“You better. You know how she is about deadlines.” Tara pulled one of the chairs from the desk beside yours closer and sat on it, resting her elbows on the armrests. “Seriously, though, why are you spaced out today?”

Well, there was no way you could tell her the truth about that. So you resorted to using a half-truth as an answer. “Writer's block.”

“Ah.”

You turned back to the screen of your computer, staring at the article you had been writing. It was almost finished, thank god. At least here, you had the facts to write around, having done your research. Very different to the situation you found yourself in regarding your stupid book.

Ugh. 

“By the way, your boyfriend’s here.”

Your head snapped up at her words, already ready to argue, knowing exactly who she was talking about. Walking into the newsroom holding two coffees was Caleb, wearing that blue-orange jacket that you had bought him for one of his birthdays. He did this pretty often, sauntering in like he owned the place even though he was technically not allowed to be there. Jenna had repeatedly reminded him of this, but he brushed it off, and after a while, she simply stopped bothering. Thus, despite not being on the paper, he spent a lot of time in the newsroom.

This was another problem you faced daily: people mistaking him for your boyfriend. The number of times you had to rehash the fact that he was simply your best friend was astounding, and back when you were a freshman, the constant whistles about you dating an upperclassman– and none other than Caleb Xia– drove you mad. You chalked it down to none of them being fortunate enough to experience a friendship as fulfilling and real as the one you had with him.

“He’s not my boyfriend.” You dropped your voice, keeping it just loud enough for her to hear your rebuttal that held a hint of venom, plastering a smile on your face as he closed in. Tara snickered. 

“Sure, and I’m the queen of England.”

“Hey,” Caleb grinned down at you, his eyes momentarily flitting to your friend. “And what?”

“Nothing,” you said brightly, shooting her a murderous look that silently told her to zip it. She smiled innocently and shook her head, slipping back to her desk without another word.

“She’s an odd one,” he quipped, handing you one of the coffees and then shrugging off the jacket, dumping it on the free space on your desk. You already knew it was your regular order, something he had memorised years ago. You sipped the drink, letting the hot liquid calm you down, grateful for the caffeine. You hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before, spending it tossing and turning in your bed.

And why was that?

Caleb leaned against your desk. “Are you free later today?” 

A dejected sigh escaped you. “Unfortunately, no. I need to finish this article by the end of the day, and it seems like my writer's block has infected every aspect of my life.” It was ironic, just how true that statement ran.

“Damn.” You could hear the tinge of disappointment in his voice. “I was hoping we would have movie night. I stocked up on your favourite candy.” He reached over, his fingers brushing against the skin of your forehead as he pushed some of your hair that fell in front of your eyes away from your face, neatly tucking it behind your ear like it was second nature. It was, you supposed, considering he had done so about a hundred times.

But something was different this time, or perhaps you were paying far too much attention to every little thing. To how he pulled back and the way the muscles in his forearm shifted subtly, making you wish he had kept the jacket on. The brief touch lingered on your skin, burned into it.

Fucking hell, you were a mess. A tragic, down-atrocious mess.

Your eyes lingered on his fingers for a moment. Heat crept up your neck, and you coughed, rubbing it absent-mindedly, hoping to push down the flush you felt taking over your body. It had been like this ever since the day in his dorm when your brain had decided to work against you and infect you with the thought of sex with your best friend.

What better way was there to describe your state than calling it an infection? It certainly felt like some sort of sickness with the way it plagued you against your will. Somehow, it was worse than the doomed crush you had harboured for him back when you were in high school, because at least that had been innocent. That was born out of pure admiration, and you were sixteen. A lot of things done at sixteen could be brushed off under the excuse of being young and naive. You had quickly gotten over it. 

You were evidently no longer so naive. In fact, you knew too much.

“Maybe next time.” You managed to choke out finally after a silence that had stretched a beat too long. Part of you hoped he’d leave you alone now so that you could calm down and refocus your attention to the article. 

But of course, he didn’t. Instead, he occupied the chair Tara previously had, complaining about one of his classes as you nodded along, sipping your coffee and glancing between him and your screen. The smooth cadence of his voice usually soothed you and calmed you down, but now it only put you on edge, flowing over scrambled thoughts like honey. Had his arms always been this nice?

You were going to hell.

All things considered, you held yourself to certain standards. You were a woman with morals and integrity, and you were not in the habit of staring at shirtless men.

Except when it was Caleb, apparently. 

“Why are you half-naked?” You blurted out gracelessly, heat viciously curling up your body as your eyes dropped down to his torso. You gripped the Chinese takeout you had gotten on your way back from your evening class a little tighter as you took in his figure. A silver chain with a tag and apple pendant (something you had given him before he left for university while you were still struggling in high school) on his bare chest and perfect sculpted abs, running shorts hanging low on his hips. 

“I was working out.” He said casually, taking the bag of takeout from your hands and walking back into his dorm, leaving you to follow him. You bit down on your tongue hard, almost hoping you’d draw blood. 

This was ridiculous. You had seen him shirtless several times before and had never reacted like this. The other times hadn’t caused you to flush and definitely didn’t cause your heart rate to spike. It didn’t have you furiously fighting off thoughts that had threatened to consume you for over a week now, pushing them back into the furthest parts of your mind and locking them there. 

“I’m almost done, could you grab sodas from the fridge?” Caleb placed the food on the table beside his bed. You wordlessly complied, picking the apple-flavoured sodas that both of you liked. Turning back to the main area of his dorm, you walked over, only to stop dead in your tracks.

Caleb was on the floor. Doing push-ups.

There was nothing inherently sexual about it in the slightest. You knew he liked to stay in shape, hitting the gym at least thrice a week to maintain his physique– a very nice physique that seemed to be your current undoing. His hair fell across his forehead, a little matted from sweat. You watched as he pressed down and back up, and in a moment of weakness, you wondered how it would be if you were under him instead of standing to the side and ogling like an idiot. Would his necklace dangle above you, swinging back and forth in your face?

Dear god. You needed to be sedated. Put down, even.

Finally, he seemed to be done, lowering himself down and then rolling onto his back. He sucked in a breath of hair, running his hands through his hair and messing it up even further. Finally, he sat up and looked up at you, a singular eyebrow raised.

“Why are you just standing there?”

Brilliant question. If only you could answer it. 

Choosing to skillfully evade instead, you tossed him his soda can and grabbed his laptop from his desk, settling down next to him on the floor. Tonight, the two of you had decided to have dinner together and catch up on an anime you had started together a couple of weeks ago. It had been a while since you had properly hung out, and you knew damn well that it was all your fault. 

You were avoiding him. Mentally and physically, especially physically. Caleb, however, being the understanding, saint of a man that he was, chalked it up to you being busy. He made sure to check in on you, shooting you texts or sending you funny videos he knew you’d like. 

“We should try and finish all the episodes up until the latest one,” You said, opening up his laptop and logging into the anime site. “They released a new one on Wednesday.” 

Caleb hummed, stretching his arms as he shuffled closer. Immediately, you froze, the close contact inciting pure panic within you. Jerking away from him, you glared, holding a hand out to keep an arm's distance between the two of you, much to his confusion. 

“Put on a shirt.”

He frowned. “Why? It’s really hot.”

Indeed, it was. “Exactly. You’re all sweaty and gross.”

You really shouldn’t have said that. The moment the words left your mouth, his mouth curled into a smirk– one so disgustingly attractive that you were sure your knees would have probably buckled if you weren’t already sitting down– and his eyes lit up with a mischievous glint that told you he was up to no good. Carefully, he wrapped a hand around your wrist, and the contact has your brain short-circuiting and going into overdrive.

“I think that means you want a hug.”

“Wait– don’t you dare– Caleb!” You yelped as he tugged you harshly, forcing you to fall into his lap, his laughter resounding through the small dorm room. Awkwardly, you shoot your other hand out to steady yourself, placing it on his shoulder as you tumble into him, knee slotting in between his legs and body so dangerously close to his that you wanted to scream. Smoothly, he wrapped his other arm around your waist, circling it and somehow tugging you even closer, until you were flush against him.

“What are you gonna do now, Pips?” He taunted, voice just above a whisper right against your ear. 

Unicorns, you bleakly thought to yourself. Puppies. Cupcakes. Sprinkles.

“You’re so annoying,” You hissed, throwing as much irritation into your voice as you possibly could in the hopes that it would drown out the shakiness you felt. His skin under your fingertips was warm, and you could feel that warmth through the fabric of your tank top. “Go fuck yourself.”

He laughed harder, the sound so contagious it broke you out of your downright sinful thoughts. You gripped his shoulder a little harder, mentally chastising yourself for the situation you found yourself in, knowing that there was no good reason for you to be this riled up. Playfighting with him was something you were used to; it was natural. It should not have had your blood pressure rising and heart slamming in your chest so violently.

Swallowing thickly, you barely processed how he let go of your wrist, his other arm also coming to rest around your waist as he pulled you further into his lap so that you were now sitting on top of him. Before you even had the chance to react to that, he buried his face in the crook of your neck and inhaled. 

“Missed you this week,” He mumbled softly against your rapidly heating skin. You froze for a split second at the contact, hopelessly blaming the flush spread over your cheeks on the humid weather.

And then you softened. 

Instinctively, your arms wrapped around his neck as you hugged him back. “I missed you too,” You whispered, following up with a lie to keep him off your trail. “Just had a lot of work.”

“I know,” he said so patiently that you instantly felt guilty. He lifted his face from your neck so that he could stare at you, and it hit you just how intimate the position the two of you were in was. Although reserved with others, Caleb had always been pretty openly affectionate with you. His hand on the small of your back, fingers intertwined with yours, a light kiss to your temple in encouragement– he had been doing stuff like that to you since you were ten. 

So why did it suddenly affect you so much? Why did something so normal for you make you feel so different now?

“Just….tell me about it,” he continued, those mesmerising purple eyes of his locked onto yours. “Shoot me a text. Let me know what's up with you. Don’t you remember the last time you shut everyone out because you were stressed?”

You did remember. It was during your finals last year, when the workload you had overwhelmed you so badly that you simply pushed everyone away until they were over. Caleb had to practically storm his way back into your life and demand that you take a break and slow down before you worked yourself to the bone. The fact that he remembered this only made your guilt worse because your distance this time had nothing to do with your classwork. 

It had everything to do with him, though. 

“Yeah, yeah,” you mumbled, slowly slipping out of his embrace and settling down next to him once again. You had to remind yourself of what he was to you, and all this thirsting for him was neither healthy nor something a good best friend would do. “I’m not gonna do that again.” 

“I’m just saying. And what the hell am I supposed to do with my free time if you’re not here to bother me?” He flashed you that shit-eating grin of his that you were starting to think was more devastating than mischievous.

You had to resist strangling him.

There was only one possible conclusion: something was deeply wrong with you.

How else were you supposed to explain your borderline insane behaviour? It had gotten even worse lately, causing you to daydream at the most inconvenient times, like when you were trying to get an assignment done or even in the middle of class. It was a wonder your professors hadn’t called you out for it yet. 

Some level of restraint seemed to remain, though, with you stopping your thoughts from crossing any lines. The moment you caught your mind straying into dangerous territory, you forced yourself to stop, desperately searching for another distraction.

But there was only so much you could do. Thinking was proving to be a dangerous activity.

You pressed your palms into your eyes, hard. It was almost three in the morning, and you hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep. Earlier, you had tried to write around the damned scene, but emerged fruitless. It was like an obstacle you had to clear before you could get to the next level of a game, taunting you with its incompletion.

Something else taunted you, simmering underneath the expanse of your skin. Things that hadn’t even happened yet, but you had already dreamed of them– his mouth on yours, his hands tracing your body with a feather touch. 

You were even wearing one of his shirts right now, the oversized tee reaching down to your mid-thighs. Several, just like the one you currently wore, sat neatly in your closet, having been stolen from him over the years. You could faintly smell his cologne; cidery and comforting, enveloping you in what felt like it could be his embrace. Turning onto your side, you pulled the blanket over your body and stared at the wall blankly. 

Caleb had been your safe space for so long, and perhaps that was why you gravitated so easily to thinking about him like this. If there was anyone you trusted in such an intimate sense, it was him. 

Even if it shouldn’t have been.

God knows you needed to get laid. Unfortunately, you didn’t want just anyone.

You swore you had never been this horny before, least of all for your best friend. Thinking about him in such a salacious way was strictly a new development that was quickly ruining your life, haunting you day and night. Even now, lying in your bed, heat that was impossible to ignore bloomed between your legs. 

Maybe if you just indulged once, this madness would stop. Maybe you just needed an orgasm, and then you’d stop going insane over every single interaction you had with Caleb. It didn’t even have to be about him, and this was normal; everyone needed a release now and then. 

Your fingers slipped between your legs, pushing the fabric of his shirt up, tracing the outline of your cotton underwear. Your eyes fluttered shut as you let your fingertips gently graze against where you needed them most, letting your legs fall apart just a little bit–

Deep purple eyes flashed behind your closed eyes.

Gasping, you retracted your hand like you had been burned. There was no way in hell you could touch yourself with him in mind; that was everything you had been avoiding for the past three weeks, ever since the notion had first sprouted. Groaning, you buried your face into the pillow.

This had to have been the stupidest cause of insomnia ever.

Caleb 🍎 [15:32 pm] : i better see u at the party tonight :D

Caleb 🍎 [15:32 pm] : will pick u up at 9

Caleb 🍎 [15:32 pm] : no buts.

Caleb supposed that this was technically his fault.

Mentally, he had already prepared for this outcome. It was why he had barely drunk the entire night, barely finishing two drinks and opting out of playing beer pong with the rest of his friends, despite Gideon's need for another member on his team. 

“Come on, Pipsqueak.” He had an arm around your waist to help steady you, ensuring you wouldn’t fall flat on your face. You stumbled into the elevator, and he jammed the number of your dorm floor as you wrapped your arms around his torso weakly, leaning into him. Right now, he was the only thing keeping you upright.

You were drunk, slurring your words and unable to walk in a straight line without any assistance type of drunk.  And yes, this was his fault. 

Probably. Definitely.

One of the frat houses had thrown a party, and he had insisted that you come with him. He had always been great at reading you, and for the last couple of weeks, you had seemed tense over something, though you hadn’t told him what exactly it was yet. That was fine, he knew that eventually you’d spill, but for now, all he wanted to do was help you let loose. 

That was exactly what he told you to do when both of you arrived at the party, even pouring you your first drink. Halfway through the party, you seemed more relaxed than you had in the last couple of days, swaying along to the music by his side. He made sure not to drink too much, wanting to be sober enough to safely get you back to your dorm just in case you overdid it.

His intuition always ended up being right when it came to you.

You whined as the elevator dinged, the doors opening. “Everything is spinning.”

“I know, honey, we’re almost there.” He helped you walk into the hallway, smoothly taking your handbag from you and extracting your keys. Holding you tighter, he opened the door and pulled you through, carefully seating you down on your bed and taking your boots off.

Like clockwork, he grabbed a bottle of water from your bedside table, unscrewed it and held it to your cherry-tinted lips. You only used that specific lip-tint when you were going out, and each time you did, he found himself wondering if it tasted like cherry as well. Even now, as he gently propped his index finger under your chin and tilted your face upwards, he entertained the idea of tasting it for himself.

But he wouldn’t. 

“Drink up,” He said softly, “You’re gonna have a nasty hangover tomorrow.”

Obediently, you parted your lips, drinking with his help. Your cheeks were flushed due to the alcohol, hair a little frizzy from the heat, but still maintaining the styling you had done before the party. To him, you looked stunning at all times, but he could see the effort you had put in to look nice tonight, from your outfit (a black halter top and jeans) to your makeup, which he knew he’d have to help you take off now. 

Once he deemed the amount of water you had drunk enough, he put the bottle back and went into your bathroom, knowing exactly where to find your makeup wipes. He had taken care of you like this once before, so his body moved like clockwork. There was no point in trying to get you to the bathroom– you’d probably just sit down on the floor and stay there for the rest of the night– so he took the wipes with him and crouched down in front of where you sat on your bed. 

Smiling, he held your face again, this time a little firmer. “You’d hate yourself if you went to sleep before you took your makeup off,” he whispered, pulling one of the wipes out and dragging it over the apples of your face. Then, he glanced up and into your eyes, noting how you stared at him so keenly, even through a half-lidded gaze, lips slightly parted. 

If Caleb could’ve kept your attention on him like this for the rest of his life, he would have. 

“What's going through that head of yours?” He cocked his head to the side, studying your intent expression. Immediately, you looked away, but he wasn’t going to back down. Something had been troubling you, and he was determined to find out what. If you wouldn’t tell him outright, he would simply have to guess. “Is it your book, again?”

Your inebriated state made it hard for you to hide things from him. You stiffened in his touch, and he chuckled. “Bingo. You know, if you just told me what you were struggling with, I’d help.” He pressed your chin lightly, angling your face downwards. “Close your eyes.” He gently wiped over your eye makeup, making sure it was all off before continuing. “I know I’m not a writer, but I’m sure I'll be of some value.”

Finally done, he neatly folded the dirty wipe and placed it to the side. “Want some more water? Alcohol is dehydrating.”

And then, out of nowhere, you spoke. 

“Sex.”

Well, blurting would probably be a better way to describe how you said the word. Caleb blinked rapidly, wondering if he had heard you correctly as his face snapped back to yours, eyes wide. 

“What?”

“Sex.” You slurred a little bit as you leaned closer to him, jutting your lower lip out in a pout and repeating it once more for good measure. “Sex.”

“I heard you the first time,” Caleb could hear how strangled his voice was, unable to think straight at your sudden declaration. Oblivious to his mental distress, you thrust out your hand and pointed at the laptop that sat on your desk with drunken animosity. 

“I can’t write a stupid sex scene.” 

You sounded so crestfallen, and he would have totally started sympathising with you if not for the reason. A sex scene? What on earth were you writing?

“I–” He swallowed, “Well–”

“I mean, how am I supposed to write a good sex scene if I don’t know what good sex feels like? Or what even like, happens?” Alcohol had certainly loosened you up, and perhaps a bit too much, having erased any filter that you had. This resulted in you rambling on about everything you would have usually kept to yourself, and for good reason. “The sex I’ve had has been shitty.”

The sex you’ve had? Caleb almost bit his tongue off in shock, staring at you incredulously at the information you had dumped on him. He hadn’t even known you had been having sex, and thank every god for that, because he would have probably jumped off a cliff if you ever talked about your sex life with him. Surely, this was some sort of twisted fever dream he had found himself in. This could not have been real life.

“Christ,” He choked out, “I–okay, maybe I can’t help you–”

“Yeah, you can.” Your eyes cut to his, a little too intense for his sanity. “If you fucked me, I’d probably be able to write the scene.”

He gaped at you, about a dozen inappropriate thoughts running through his head before he could stop it. “What did you just say?” 

Teenage Caleb would have died if he had heard you say that. Adult Caleb nearly did. 

You sighed heavily, and it only succeeded in causing him to spiral even more. “I thought about it. I’m sure it would be good, y’know. You’d know what you were doing, you even look like you’re good at it.”

“You’re so drunk.” He tried to reason with himself out loud, but could hardly recognise his voice with how strained he sounded. Looked like he was good at it? What alternate dimension had he just fallen into? 

“Oh, come on, Caleb. I need some hands-on learning, and you–” you slurred the words as you leaned close and wrapped your hands around his bicep, peering up at him through your lashes. “–have very nice hands. They’re hot.”

You, his best friend, his pipsqueak, had thought about sleeping with him. You thought his hands were hot. The news nearly killed him, and he had to force himself to look away from you, his mind running at a mile a minute. Heat prickled at his face and neck, impossible to ignore as he cleared his throat and stood to his feet, pulling away from your touch. 

“You should sleep.” He stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans, stepping away from you. “I–I’ll see you tomorrow.” It was as if he were going through puberty all over again, with the way his voice cracked embarrassingly as he spoke. He left your room hurriedly,  barely getting his shoes back on as he closed the door behind him and leaned against it.

Caleb exhaled, pinching the bridge of his nose as the back of his head hit your door. All these years of barely keeping it together around you, carefully tiptoeing between right and wrong, only for you to come and crash into whatever self-restraint he had left. 

Right and wrong. 

All of a sudden, he wasn’t sure if he was going to choose correctly anymore. 

Death had to have been more merciful than the pounding in your head. Grabbing the covers, you pulled them over yourself like a cocoon, trying your hardest to block out all noises and sink even further into your mattress. 

Unfortunately, your hangover-induced headache made it nearly impossible for you to go back to sleep. Cursing, you forced yourself out of bed and into the bathroom to freshen up and change out of your clothes and into something more comfortable. Naturally, you gravitated towards an oversized shirt and a pair of shorts, pulling them on after a quick shower. 

Then, you went right back to your bed, not wanting to face the day in the slightest. You had managed to resist throwing up so far, and even the thought of having to function like a normal human being made you recoil into your blanket and stay there for the rest of the week. Just as you began to genuinely entertain that notion, a sharp knock at your door caught your attention.

You would have ignored it if you didn’t know the pattern of this knock by heart. No one but Caleb knocked twice in sequence. 

Cursing under your breath, you scrambled to the door and opened it, squinting as the bright light of the hallway outside nearly blinded you. There he stood, grinning down at you as he held up a paper bag. 

“Aspirin.”

“Thank god,” you immediately let him in, taking the medicine from him and pouring yourself a glass of water. He stood right behind you as you took the pill, ruffling your already messy hair and staring for just a second too long. 

“Bad morning, huh?”

“You have no idea.” You winced at the whiny nature of your voice. “It feels like my head is trying to stab itself.”

Caleb chuckled dryly, sitting down on your bed and watching as you settled at your desk and ran your fingers through your hair, trying to smooth out the knots. Something was different about the way he was looking at you, but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it.

“You’ll be fine,” He muttered, shifting his gaze to the ceiling. You frowned, taking in the way his jaw ticked, and placed your glass of water down.

“Are you okay?”

“Me? Yeah, I’m fine.” He said it a little too brightly, glancing down at your desk. Something flickered in his eyes. “Made any progress on that book of yours?”

A frustrated sound left you buried your face in your hands, elbows on your desk. The reminder of your stagnant writing somehow worsened your headache, as if that was even possible. Of course he’d bring that up. “As usual, no.”

For a while, you had hoped that inspiration would strike you eventually, but it seemed like you were well and truly stuck. It had only taken a turn for the worse, with you suddenly despising everything you had already written, unable to even skim any of it without cringing and wanting to hit delete. Your inability to write had morphed into impostor syndrome, which was a development you didn’t appreciate in the slightest.

“It’s okay,” he said, and you would have mistaken his tone for reassuring if not for the way his lips twitched slightly. “I’m sure you’ll be able to write eventually. After you fuck me, apparently.”

Silence. 

Razor-sharp silence.

Slowly, you turned your head to face him, eyes wide as saucers. “What….did you just say?”

“Only what you said last night. You said you were sure it would be good, which I beg to differ. It would be amazing, thank you very much.” He dared to smile oh-so innocently, as if he hadn’t just upgraded the superlative of what sex with him would potentially be like.

If you thought you were going to throw up before, you were sure you were going to now. You almost choked on your spit, waves of unadulterated shock crashing through your system as you gawked at your best friend, who appeared much too pleased with himself at the moment. If you weren’t so utterly horrified, you would have tried to slap the smug expression right off of his face.

“No.” The singular word comes out breathless, much to your mortification, your gut churning at the implications of that statement. “No, no, no–”

“Oh yes,” He grinned wickedly, leaning back on the palms of his hands. 

“What–what the fuck did I drink last night.” You tried your levity, but your embarrassment ran too deep. Reaching up, you covered your face with your hands in a pathetic attempt to hide away from him. Never, in a million years, had you ever accounted for having this conversation with him, of all people, and you were almost certain there was something in your drinks that had made you say what you did. 

His velvety laugh echoed through your dorm, and you wanted nothing more than to fold in on yourself. This had to have been the worst moment of your life. 

“I guess you don’t remember, huh?” There was an amused lilt to his tone that made you want to jump out of the window. “I can refresh you, if you’d like.”

“NO!” 

The shriek that left you was nothing short of abashed. He leaned forward now, smirking at you conspiratorially. “What's wrong? I thought you needed,” he paused, as if recollecting the exact words you had said to humiliate you even further. “Hands-on learning?”

You pointed to the door, biting back a scream. “Get out.”

The smirk only grew. “Aw, but if sleeping with me is gonna help you write again–”

“OUT!” You glared, cheeks flaming. Your anxiety had prepared you for at least a hundred outright ridiculous situations that had no chance of ever occurring, but none of them accounted for the possibility of your best friend talking about sleeping with you. You couldn’t fathom how he seemed so unaffected by it, as if he were speaking about something as mundane as the damn weather.

Caleb tongued his cheek, evidently fighting off another bout of laughter. He raised his hands to his sides in a placating gesture, but it did nothing to soothe your frazzled nerves. If anything, it only distracted you further, your eyes betraying you and straying to glance at his hands. A suppressed memory from last night resurfaced in your mind's eye, much to your displeasure. 

You have very nice hands. They’re hot.

That was it. You were never going to touch alcohol again. Sobriety was your way of life now, seeing that you couldn’t keep your mouth shut when under the influence. The next time you need to let off some steam, you’d have an iced coffee.

“Alright, alright, I’ll go.” He moved towards your door, hiding his teasing smile behind his fist, disguising his chuckle with an exaggerated cough. “But Y/n?”

He didn’t use his beloved pet name. You straightened slightly, momentarily pushing away your embarrassment at the sudden serious shift of his voice. He opened the door and paused, hesitating for a single second. Then, he looked back at you, all-consuming, violent eyes locking onto yours. 

“I would do it if you asked.” 

You sighed heavily as you walked out of your last class of the day, rubbing the back of your neck and peering up into the darkening sky. Thursdays were the one day of the week when you had longer classes one after the other, which always resulted in you feeling exhausted by the end of it. You barely had the energy to even think about putting together dinner, which your best friend knew, always swinging by once your class ended with enough take-out for both of you and to walk you back to your dorm. 

Which meant…

“I hope you’re in the mood for Thai food.”

Caleb slid into your view with that easy-going smile of his, though lately and much to your annoyance, there seemed to be a knowing glint in his gaze every time it settled on you. 

“I’m in the mood for anything edible.” You sighed as you began walking back to your dorm. He easily fell into step beside you, as always, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. You supposed it was, considering how long your friendship had lasted. It would be almost twelve years soon, and honestly, you could hardly remember a time when he wasn’t around. 

He hummed, knowing how cranky you got when you were hangry. “So easy to please.” It was the way he said it, knowing and with a tone so low that it almost resembled a purr. It had goosebumps rising on the surface of your skin. A little outraged at the way you reacted, you glanced over at him, only to find him already looking at you.

It was how he always looked at you, with conviction and every ounce of his attention. Yet, it felt different, more intense. Or maybe that was just your brain playing tricks on itself. 

I would do it if you asked.

Those seven words had haunted you from the moment he had spoken them. The serious expression on his face mixed with the quiet way he had said it– it had undoubtedly fucked you up a little more than you would have liked to admit. You were beyond infuriated and in complete disbelief over how he had simply offered to sleep with you. Like it wasn’t a big deal or a very major, clear boundary that existed in friendships. In your friendship. 

If you asked. Like it was that fucking simple. He left your dorm since you demanded it of him, but left you to deal with the aftermath of that absolutely criminal statement of his. 

And then there was the teasing. 

Relentless and unsteadying. Caleb would say something a little too suggestive or downright sexual before retreating and pretending like nothing had happened. He’d hold your gaze a little longer, or let his touch linger, before looking away with a satisfied smirk. He knew damn well what he was doing, and although you did too, it didn’t stop you from flushing or freezing up. It certainly didn’t stop scenarios from writing themselves in your head. 

He was torturing you for your little slip-up. He found it hilarious, and now you were the punchline for every joke that blossomed from it. 

He cocked his head to the side now, a small, tilted smile on his lips as he spoke. “What's going on in at head of yours?”

You realised you had stopped walking, and so had he, instead standing right in front of you and occupying every part of your vision. “Nothing.”

Caleb quirked an eyebrow, taking a step closer. “You sure about that? You’re obviously thinking about something.” The cadence of his voice had always been nice, but now the velvety smoothness of it put you on edge in more ways than one. “Are you maybe thinking about–”

“I am not thinking about that.” The statement tumbled out of you before you could bite your tongue. His eyes lit up mischievously.

“Oh, so you’re thinking about something after all, are you?”

Your mouth opened and closed like a fish, struggling to findd to find a comeback to that. Somehow, he was even closer now. 

“Mind telling me what exactly that is?”

“Stop it,” You almost snarled, shooting him a withering look as you pushed him away in order to reclaim your personal space. This teasing streak of his was getting unbearable, especially since it was anything but innocent and was driving you up the wall. “Or I’m gonna take the Thai food and leave you with nothing.”

An offended gasp. “You wouldn’t.”

“I would.” 

He laughed at your threat and finally let up on you, going back to being the Caleb you knew. He spoke of his classes and the group project he had due at the end of the week, for which he had terrible teammates to work with. It was jarring, how easily he could shift back into acting like he hadn’t just insinuated something so….

Maybe it was just your dirty mind. 

Unbeknownst to you, it definitely wasn’t just your dirty mind. Caleb was mentally punching himself. 

Caleb had had years of practising self-control when it came to you. Years of holding back and hiding the feelings he had for his best friend, shying away from every opportunity to divulge them. He knew how to keep his hands to himself, his mind from straying and his tongue from running into dangerous territory. He hadn’t meant to do it, but your drunken confession had flipped a switch inside of him. The lines had gotten a little blurry, but he would never, in a million years, ever actually cross them.

So what the hell was wrong with him? 

You still hadn’t written a word. Unfortunately for you, you couldn’t even complain about it in peace anymore. Not if you wanted to maintain even a modicum of your sanity.

The reason for said dwindling sanity was sitting beside you right now on his bed, his arm slung around your shoulder, fingers tracing abstract patterns on the top of your shoulder. Usually, this would have calmed you down and even made you sleepy, but it achieved the complete opposite right then. You were painfully awake, his feathery touch like electricity against your skin. 

God, you were so fucked. You had hoped that Caleb’s incessant teasing would have put a damper on your sudden, strong attraction towards him, but nothing of the sort had happened. It seemed to have only gotten worse, with you ending up being jumpy whenever he was around, and considering the amount you hung out with him, you were starting to resemble a kangaroo.

Around him, you were constantly tense and always on the precipice of being turned on. To say it was hellish would be an understatement.

“You’re distracted,” he murmured as the credits of the movie you were watching played. Finally, the two of you had managed to find the time to have that movie night you had passed on weeks ago. You shook your head, glancing up at the clock that hung on his wall. It was a little past midnight. 

“Just frustrated,” you said finally, because it was the truth in more ways than one. Your frustration with your writing, or lack of, ran deep, but now it was intertwined with another very persistent reason. Being sexually frustrated wasn’t something you were used to dealing with.

He seemed to have caught on, though, his hand falling from your shoulder to your waist, curling around it. “Why are you frustrated, Pipsqueak?” He drawled, turning his head so that he faced you now. Of course, he’d pick this moment to torment you, when you were already frazzled.

“No reason,” you said quickly, voice clipped. A slow, languid smile stretched out on his lips. 

“No?” He asked, the side of his mouth tilting. “Could it be….”

“Stop talking.” You despised how hoarse your voice sounded. You wanted– no, needed him to stop doing this before it became unbearable. He was your best friend, for fucks sake. The smile on his annoyingly perfect face melted into a smirk that would have had your knees weak if you weren’t already sitting down. 

“I don’t think I will.” He whispered, pulling you even closer as he dipped his head down until his lips brushed against your ear. It was like he wanted you to break, and god, you were so close to doing so. His hand slid up your waist just a little bit. A shiver ran through you, one you couldn’t have suppressed if you tried. 

“Tell me,” He mumbled, the words sounding much too loud even though he was still whispering. “Do your frustrations have anything to do with a certain sex scene you’re trying to write?”

You inhaled sharply.

Rationality was a funny thing. Every bit of it seemed to disappear whenever you truly needed it. Things you had no business thinking rushed through your head, courtesy of your bright imagination that chose the most inconvenient moments to work. Thoughts you had suppressed and pushed aside every time they had the nerve to pop up swirled around.

The spark that you had been trying so hard to put out crackled to life in your core, its flames spreading all across your body like wildfire. You were painfully aware of every part of you that was in contact with him, his hand just above your waist, sitting there so possessively, his breath fanning across your neck– fuck. It was too much, but somehow not enough all at once, and immediately you knew what you wanted.

More.

You snapped. 

Something possessed you as you turned to look at him, a surge of confidence appearing out of nowhere as you drew closer to him. “Yeah.”

He raised an eyebrow. “What?”

Right then and there, three things became very clear to you. One: You wanted to write. Desperately and preferably sometime soon, because you did want to finish the first draft before you could go in and edit. Two: For some reason, you needed to have sex in order to get over the mental block you had when it came to writing it. Lastly, three: You only wanted to have sex with one person, and it was the man right beside you.

“My frustration has everything to do with the sex scene.” You said, surprising yourself with how steady your voice was. “But you can help with that, right?” 

Without waiting for his response, you got to your knees, swinging a leg over him and settling down on top. Surprise flickered in his eyes for a second as your hands found his shoulders to maintain your balance, before he spoke again. 

“Pipsqueak,” he started, voice low and careful, attempting to keep the teasing lilt in his voice but royally failing. “What– exactly– are you doing?”

“You told me to ask.” You muttered, dropping your gaze to his lips for a moment before letting it travel back up. “You said you’d do it if I asked. I’m asking right now.” 

Caleb couldn’t respond, still staring up at you, eyes wide and ears a little redder than they normally were. Good. It was about time he had a taste of his own medicine. His hands found your waist again, and he blinked twice, slowly, and you prayed he wasn’t all bark and no bite. 

You wanted him to bite.

“Y/n,” he muttered, “I….I know what I said.”

You raised an eyebrow, your hands slipping up his shoulders simultaneously until they were cradling his neck, playing with his hair at the nape of it. Was he shy? Now? After everything he had said and insinuated, he had the audacity to be all bashful? “So then you know what I’m asking for.”

“Well–”

“Caleb,” You cut him off, shifting so that you were closer. “I’m asking.” 

Conviction laced those words. You could tell he was reasoning with himself, god knows you could read him well enough to know when he was conflicted, when he bit the inside of his cheek before exhaling shakily. 

“Pips,” He rasped out your nickname. “You– you’re sure?”

You didn’t recognise the look in his eyes right then as he looked up at you, but it had you unravelling all the same. You leaned in subconsciously, but he quickly moved one of his hands from your waist to your mouth, covering it as his jaw clenched, still studying you. “I need you to tell me you’re sure, Y/n.”

Oh, so this was actually happening. You could feel the heat of your breath recoil against your face because of his hand. The ticking of the clock in his room filled the charged silence between him and you, his fingers brushing against your chapped lips. You swallowed.

“I’m sure.”

Whatever had shifted in you five minutes ago seemed to shift in him as well now. He let his hand drop from your mouth, shamelessly staring at it. “We shouldn’t.” But he pulled you closer, his arms circling your waist and palms splayed out on the small of your back. 

“It’s for research purposes,” You breathed out, doing your best to justify how badly you needed him. “Please, Caleb, I need–”

He didn’t let you finish. 

You gasped as he crushed his mouth to yours, effectively shutting you up. The pressure of his lips against your own was dizzying, especially with the way they moved; slowly and precisely, as if he was committing the feel of your lips to his memory. You were hyperaware of his touch on your back, the warmth from his hands permeating through the thin fabric of the T-shirt you were wearing.

Pulling him closer, you tilted your head so you could kiss him better. For the number of times you had mentally chided yourself for even thinking about this, it felt remarkably natural to kiss him, your instincts taking over. Your fingers slipped into his hair, entangling in the dark strands and tugging lightly.

Caleb groaned, and you were on fire. 

“God, Y/n.” There was nothing playful about the way he mumbled your name into the kiss, and the unfamiliarity of it sent a shiver down your spine. His lips, soft and just a little hesitant, moved in tandem against your own, slotting in between them perfectly like you were pieces of the same puzzle, meant to be pushed together like so. He nipped at your lower lip before swiping his tongue over it to soothe the sting, and the intoxicating sensation drew out a needy whimper from you. 

The second that sound escaped you, all indecision disappeared from his end, and the temperature in the room seemed to increase, growing hotter with every smack of his lips against yours. Kissing him was addictive, it felt as if neither of you could bear to pull away from each other. 

Without warning, Caleb lifted you off of him and pressed you into the mattress, swiftly climbing on top of you. For a moment, he hovered, looking down at you, taking in the flush on your cheeks and heavy breathing, proud to have been the cause of your breathlessness despite barely doing a thing. Going in once again, he brushed his lips against yours teasingly, before giving you what you truly wanted, the intensity of the kiss taking a turn for feverish.

A hand of his slid up your side until he cupped your jaw oh-so gently, turning your face to the side to give him better access to your neck, upon which he pressed hot, open-mouthed kisses that had heat rush right to your core. The ache between your legs grew, slowly becoming unbearable, and you rubbed your thighs together with a whine, chasing any sliver of friction. 

“Shit,” he muttered against you, his other hand slipping underneath your shirt and coming into contact with your stomach, causing goosebumps to rise on the skin. Spreading his fingers and pressing lightly, he kept you from squirming. “Pips, you gotta tell me to stop.”

“Don’t you dare,” you almost snapped at him, impatient and so painfully aroused it was embarrassing. He couldn’t hold back the breathless chuckle that escaped him as he moved lower, teeth grazing your collarbone. 

“If, at any point, you want to stop, tell me,” he gritted out, trying to hold onto any semblance of self-control he still possessed. “I don’t wanna do anything you’re uncomfortable with.”

You nodded quickly. “I trust you.”

That was all he needed. Lifting his head slightly, he fumbled with the buttons of your shorts as he leaned back, all his weight on his knees. Once he managed to undo them, you lifted your hips slightly to help him tug them off your body. He settled between your legs, spreading them until the pretty cotton panties you wore were exposed. 

Caleb swallowed, his breathing growing erratic and heavy. The wet patch on your panties was his undoing; everything about this situation was bound to be the death of him, but he was too far gone now. He let his hand trace up to your hips, hooking his finger through the waistband of your panties, toying with it.

“Is this ok?” The column of his throat bobbed as he stared up at you from between your legs. When you whispered a needy yes, he pulled the panties down your legs, his eyes darkening the moment they settled back on your core. 

“Y/n,” He said your name like he was drunk, a certain sense of reverence infused in his tone that had your cheeks kissed rouge. “You’re even prettier than I thought.”

Than he thought? You would have to take the time to dissect that statement later, much too distracted to do so at the moment when he began peppering kisses along your inner thigh, starting from your knee and working his way upwards. The sensation of his mouth tantalisingly close to where you wanted it so badly was almost too much. Just the sight of him there was so erotic that it had your head swimming. You had never felt more vulnerable than you did right then, exposed and willing.

And then finally– finally– his breath fanned out over your soaked cunt, driving you insane. Liquid fire thrummed in your veins beneath the surface of your skin as your anticipation spilled over. He pressed a light, teasing kiss against your clit. 

Caleb dragged his tongue over your slit, licking up it all the way to your clit, which he wrapped his lips around and sucked, knocking all the air out of your lungs. You gasped, bucking your hips up against him, and he chuckled, the sound sending vibrations up your body, from your toes to the top of your head.

“Impatient,” he chided. “Let me take my time with you, princess.”

The new pet name sounded so natural coming from him, and immediately, you knew you wanted to hear him call you that again. He flicked his tongue against the throbbing bud that had been aching for his attention this entire time, positioning your legs to rest over his shoulders. The sounds that left you were shamefully loud, and you had never been more grateful that he lived in a single dorm. 

“Cal- oh fuck,” You mewled when he swiped two of his fingers through your wetness, rubbing your folds. 

“You’re so fucking wet,” he all but groaned against you, and you could feel more slick gush out of you at that. “Is this all for me?” 

Your back arched off the bed when he pressed a finger to your dripping entrance, nodding with a sense of desperation you had never experienced before. “Yes,” you exhaled the word as he pushed his finger inside your pussy slowly, your jaw falling open at the pleasurable intrusion. 

Slowly, he began pumping it in and out of you as he continued to give your clit the sweet attention it deserved, basking in the noises that you made. The pads of the fingers of his other hand dug into the flesh of your thigh, keeping you nice and spread out despite all your attempts to shut your legs around him. 

When he introduced a second finger to your cunt, your hands found purchace in his hair, gripping and tugging as you panted, unable to focus on anything else. Your eyes fluttered shut as the tips of his fingers brushed against a spot that had you seeing stars, crooking inside you so perfectly. It was as if he knew exactly how to push you to the edge.

Your best friend was eating you out like a starved man and you were enjoying every fucking second of it. He could feel your legs begin to tremble, your impending orgasm building. Shamelessly, you bucked your hips against his face, and the moment he realised what you were doing, he increased the pace of his fingers.

“Come on baby,” he encouraged you, flattening his tongue against your clit and pulling you closer, spurring you on even further. You ground against his mouth desperately, feeling the coil in your core draw tight, so, so close.

“Caleb,” you stuttered his name helplessly, but he somehow understood, knowing just what you needed. “I–I’m gonna–”

He scissored his fingers inside of you, hooking them just right as he gave your clit little kitten licks, determined to have you fall apart on his tongue. Your sweet gasps sent blood rushing straight to his cock, which was already painfully hard, confined in his jeans. Taking your mound into his mouth, he sucked harshly, thrusting his fingers knuckle deep in your sex. 

A broken moan escaped you when your climax hit you, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as waves of pleasure washed over you. Your legs shook, but he didn’t let up, grinning proudly against you as he drove his fingers back into your gushing entrance, helping you ride out your high and prolonging it. Once he was satisfied, he lapped at you, refusing to waste even a single drop of your essence. 

Caleb pulled away, and the sight of you nearly did him in. Eyes screwed shut in ecstacy and hair fanned out on his pillow, undoubtedly tangled from all your writhing. You looked like the picture of sin, and it was the hottest thing he had ever seen. He climbed back, hovering over you again as he licked his lips.

Your eyes fluttered open, pupils blown out and dark due to the sheer level of desire that coursed through you. You were stunning, and he was destroyed, knowing that he’d never be able to forget the way you were looking at him right then. The way you tasted.

When he kissed you again, it was different. It was a heady mix of heat and tongue and want, messier than the kisses he gave you earlier, the control he had before nowhere to be seen anymore. You could taste yourself on his tongue and moaned, reaching out to touch him. 

You started at his collar, dragging your hands down, down, down until you reached the hem of his shirt, whining against his mouth as you tugged at it. 

“Take it off.”

Who was he to deny you? He stopped kissing you, sitting up so that he could pull the shirt off, exposing his torso for you. The way your eyes raked over him hungrily was more than gratifying, especially when they caught on the silver chain that hung from his neck, the pendant sitting on his chest. Tossing his shirt to the side, he pushed your own up your body, exposing the skin of your stomach. 

“Your turn.”

You let him take off your shirt, tossing it to the side and slipping his hands slip behind your back. He silently asked for your permission, which you gave to him in the form of an impatient nod to which he smirked, unhooking your bra and peeling it off of you, letting the discarded garment join the rest of them on the floor. 

One look at you and he was a goner. 

“Fuck,” he could feel himself straining his jeans as he took in the sight of your breasts, so perfect and plush. He allowed himself a moment to appreciate you in all your naked glory, before leaning back down, his mouth back on your overheated skin. He dragged his tongue down your neck, sucking and biting like there was no tomorrow. 

His lips trailed downwards, kissing the swell of your breast before wrapping around your already hard nipple, stroking his tongue against the aching peak. He palmed the other breast, giving that nipple equal amounts of attention and rolling it under his thumb. You hissed in pleasure, breathless as you arched into his addictive touch.

You could barely think straight; everything he was doing to you sent you into complete overdrive. Every touch was criminally good, the simplest of them causing your arousal to increase tenfold. Perhaps it was because it had been so long since you had last had sex, but you had never before felt so frenzied.

Hooking your legs around his waist, you could feel the outline of him pressing against your thighs. Angling your hips, you pressed your bare pussy against his bulge, the roughness of the denim rubbing you just right. He looked up at you from your chest through hooded eyes, earning another whimper as he pinched your nipple.

“You sound so good.” His words went straight to your head. “Tell me what you want.”

He said it like it was a command, and who were you to disobey, especially when you knew exactly what you wanted? 

“I want you inside me,” you whimpered, voice heated with lust. 

How could he ever refuse you? Caleb gave you one last kiss before reaching over to his bedside table, grabbing something from the drawer and sitting up and unzipping his pants. You couldn’t help but stare as he impatiently kicked off his jeans and boxers, eyes widening when you finally saw his cock. 

Fuck, it was big. Long and painfully hard, you could hardly believe he was hard because of you, but the proof was in front of your very eyes. Your lower lip caught between your teeth as you drank in the sight of him, hyperaware of the wetness that coated your thighs. 

He tore open the condom packet, smoothly sliding it onto himself before settling between your legs once. 

“W-will it even fit?” You squeaked, a spike of fear cutting through the lust-filled haze of your mind. He grabbed one of your hands, bringing it to his lips and pressing your fingers to them, kissing your knuckles soothingly as he bit back a smile. 

“It’ll fit.” 

“But��� there's no way,” You spluttered, “It’s gonna hurt.” Not that the prospect of being in a little pain deterred you by any means, you were way too horny to stop now. Complaining was probably the least sexy thing you could have done in the moment, but he seemed unbothered, the dark, hungry glint in his eyes never fading. The amused look on his face, however, was not lost on you, nor was the way he bit the inside of his cheek, fighting a smile. You glared weakly. 

“Are you laughing at me?” You asked, incredulous. “I swear to god, Caleb, you’re going to split me in half, and you’re laughing?”

“Baby,” He breathed, “You’ll be fine.”

“Easy for you to say!”

You wouldn’t even blame him if he decided he was done with you and pulled his pants back on, but nothing of the sort happened. Instead, he gripped your hips, grounding you to the moment. 

Both of you were completely nude, and despite this, you had never felt more comfortable. Not when he looked at you like that, like you were something sacred. 

“Relax, Pips, I’ve got you,” He whispered, sensing your apprehension. You exhaled shakily as he pressed his hard-on against your folds, groaning at just how wet you were. “Eyes on me.”

The way he took control so naturally was alarmingly attractive. You looked up, locking your eyes with his, unable to stay silent when the head of his cock rubbed against your swollen clit. “O-oh.”

He shuddered at the feeling, dropping a little so that he was keeping himself up on his elbows. His necklace swung above you just like you had imagined as he ground against you, but it still wasn’t enough. “Ready?” 

You didn’t think you’d ever be ready, but you wanted it so badly you didn’t even care. Nodding eagerly, you intertwined your fingers with his, letting him press the back of your hands into the mattress. When his tip caught at your entrance, you whined. “Please.” 

Having you beg him like that was dangerous. He squeezed your hands, and then slowly, carefully, sank into your wet heat, inch by devastating inch. Your jaw slackened, loudly moaning his name as he filled you up and stretched you out so pleasurably. His eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he pushed into you until he bottomed out, going breathless himself. One glance down to where the two of you were connected had him actively having to fight off coming right then and there. 

Caleb was in heaven, and he was fucking delirious. He forced himself to stay still, moaning lowly when he felt your walls flutter around him, adjusting to his size. “You’re doing so well, princess.” He praised, lowering his head to your neck and burying his face in the crook of it, inhaling deeply in an attempt to calm himself down. 

There was so much wrong with this, so why did it feel so right? You felt so perfect, like you were made for him.

“Caleb,” You whimpered once the sting faded, letting go of his hands and looping your arms around his neck, “Move. I need you to move.” 

He pulled out until only his tip remained inside of you, before sheathing himself again, causing you to curve off the bed, nails digging into his skin. He did it again and again, nearly growling when he felt you grow even wetter, coating the length of his cock in your slick. Wet sounds that had your cheeks burning filled the room repeatedly.

“Fuck baby, you’re so tight,” He practically growled, contrasting the tender pace he set, telling you he was holding back for your sake. You could feel every inch of him as he dragged against your walls, reminding you how big he was with every thrust.  

Your friendship was potentially ruined, but it felt too good for you to care. With your legs locked behind his back, you gripped his biceps, a wanton moan escaping you as your eyes fluttered shut, the pleasure overriding every other sensation.  

“So good,” words were hard to put together, and he understood and nodded, holding your hips so tight you were sure there would be marks, just like the marks that blossomed all over your neck and chest from his earlier ministrations. Right now, though, you didn’t care about that, consumed by the waves of euphoria rushing through you.

Slowly, the frequency of his thrusts increased, rendering you completely winded and unable to do anything but gasp for air. You felt another orgasm steadily build up inside you. 

Then he tipped his hips a certain way, the tip of his cock brushing against a spot that made you cry out his name, throwing your head back into his pillows. The look on your face was something he wanted to imprint in his memory; the desire lacing your voice was beyond exhilarating. 

Caleb could feel his own impending high, so tightly wound because of just how long he had waited for something like this. When you clenched around him, he knew you were close as well, but the act nearly did him in.

“Don’t do that.” his voice was all scratchy and strained, but you promptly did it once again, high off the notion that you were affecting him just as much as he was affecting you. His hips stuttered against yours as his violet eyes flashed. “Fucking hell.”

“Oh my god,” you moaned, “I can’t–”

“Look at me,” he demanded, “I want you to look at me when you come all over my cock.”

Never in a million years would you have thought your best friend would be so good at dirty talk, but the shock quickly melted into obedience as you managed to hold his heated gaze. Reaching between the two of you, his index finger found your engorged clit and rubbed circles against it. 

You squealed, overly sensitive. “Shit–I’m gonna– Cal-!”

“Come for me.” 

Caleb would never forget how you looked: at his mercy, crying out his name over and over like it was a prayer as you came, spilling over his cock with a euphoric sob. He snapped his hips to yours with renewed urgency, drawing out your second climax and prolonging the feeling. When he saw the fucked out look on your face, it hit him at once. 

With one final thrust, he buried himself inside you, coming with a moan, burying his face in your neck once again. His body was damp against yours, his hair tickling you as you breathed heavily. He stayed like that for a couple of seconds, recovering from the intensity of what had just happened.

Wordlessly, he pulled out of you gently, the sudden emptiness you felt having you whimper softly. Peeling the condom off, he tossed it in the bin next to his bed before climbing off of you, muttering something about being back. Seconds later, you felt a warm, wet cloth drag over your core. He cleaned you up, pressing little kisses to the inner side of your thighs.

Once he was done, he gathered you in his arms and pulled you close, kissing your temple. 

“Are you okay?” He asked, pulling away just enough so he could try and gauge how you felt, rubbing his thumb over your cheekbone as he cupped your face tenderly. “I didn’t hurt you, right?”

You shook your head and leaned into his touch, completely spent. “No, it was perfect.”

He sighed in relief. You curled into him, and he wrapped his arms around you. “You did so well,” he murmured into your hair, massaging your scalp gently. “You were amazing, actually.” Another kiss to your forehead made you simper as your eyes closed, exhaustion settling into you now that the adrenaline had faded. “Tired?”

“Yeah,” You mumbled. Your legs entangled with his, and he stopped talking, tracing shapes on your back while you drifted off to sleep. He watched you for a bit, savouring the skin-on-skin contact, his mind reeling from what had just happened. 

This was strangely normal, no awkwardness or post-nut clarity hitting either of you. Your body lay against his with all of you pressed up against him like that was exactly where you belonged. He could feel the beating of your heart, strong and steady in your slumber, whereas his remained erratic and fast. This was more than just a taste that he had had of you; it was the entire deal, and the knowledge of it all had his morals scattered and all over the place, because now that he knew what he knew, well.

Caleb wasn’t sure he’d be able to stop.

It was supposed to be a one-time thing.

At the time, you had justified sleeping with Caleb as research, something you needed to do in order to get it out of your system. You had assumed, albeit foolishly, that once it was over, you’d be able to go back to normal and continue with your life.

But research was an activity that required constant revisiting. Most of it had to be repeated over and over, especially if it included gathering data from an experiment. There was always a control, and then variations of the experiment would be conducted to record the differences in the outcomes. 

At least, that was what you were telling yourself right now as you straddled him, his cock buried inside you.

Truthfully, you didn’t know how this had happened. After that day, everything seemed to be normal, until he showed up at your dorm to help you study for a class he had also taken when he was in his sophomore year. One thing led to another, or rather, one heated touch later, you found yourself under him once again.

And then it happened again, and kept happening. Whispers of it being just for research mixed in with both of your moans became a melody you were more than used to. This was all for your book, after all. For the sake of accuracy and your integrity as a writer.

Definitely not because of how mindblowing sex with Caleb was.

And it absolutely was. 

He had made you completely insatiable for him, and almost every time the two of you hung out in one of your dorms, it ended up with both of you in bed. Every other aspect of your friendship remained exactly the same, though, which left you considerably confused. He didn’t look at or treat you any differently, poking fun and driving you up the wall, staying his usual reliable self. 

Caleb’s hand cradled the back of your head as he kissed you now, fingers entangled in your hair and pulling slightly. You moaned softly against his lips, grinding on him.

You were in one of his shirts, panties tugged to the side since he hadn’t had the patience to take them off, needing to be inside of you as quickly as possible. Despite his earlier hurriedness, the pace the two of you settled on now was almost teasing, slowly rocking against him as you lazily chased the delicious high that you had gotten so used to experiencing these past two weeks. 

“You’re so gorgeous,” he muttered, more to himself than you, hand slipping under your shirt and cupping your breast, squeezing. When he caught you biting your lip, he tutted, letting go of your hair and using his thumb to release it from your teeth. “Ah, ah, don’t do that, you’ll hurt yourself, pretty girl.”

“Too good,” you complained in that whiney, desperate tone he had gotten so addicted to. Pinching your nipple for good measure, he smirked up at you when you squealed. 

Caleb quickly learned that he loved having you on top of him. Getting you all to himself like this was a privilege in itself, but fucking you while you wore his shirt? He was on cloud nine. He could feel himself throb in your sweet pussy that welcomed him so eagerly, in turn pulsing around him. 

He cursed under his breath when you started to bounce, eager to get to the finish line with him. He sounded so good when he swore, you’d never understand it, just like how you wouldn’t get how he looked so pretty with a flush decorating his face and sex-mussed hair.

Gripping his shoulders, you tipped your head back, giving him access to your neck. He had taken to marking you up as and when he pleased, new hickeys surprising you every time you glanced in the mirror. Despite his tendency to leave them in places everyone could very easily spot them, you didn’t tell him to stop simply it just felt so good. 

Everything with Caleb felt good, and not only did it feel good, but you felt completely safe. He was so attentive, doing the most to make sure you were never in any pain, often times focusing more on getting you off rather than himself. 

He thrust up into you suddenly, his earlier impatience returning, and you cried out, falling into his chest. He held you, working you through it and dragging you closer and closer to release. One of your hands fell to his torso, tracing the hard lines of his abs and trailing downwards before your fingers found your clit and rubbed.

Shit. If having you ride him was good, being able to watch you touch yourself as you did was unbelievable. When you came, you came hard, and the feeling of it tipped him over the edge. 

You were a dream he never wanted to wake up from.

You didn’t bother moving, clinging to him even tighter like you couldn’t bear to not be touching him in some way as you came down from your high. He smelled like sex, sweat, and that cologne of his that you loved. It was the reason you stole his clothes so much and why you were wearing his shirt even now.

Your first time with Caleb was the getaway drug, and now you were addicted to him, to having his hands caressing you all over and him whispering praises in your ear. 

“Hey there,” He chuckled, rubbing your back. “All good?”

“Great even,” You mumbled, sitting up properly before finally lifting yourself off of him. You failed to register how jelly-like your legs felt, promptly losing your balance. He caught you before you fell, grinning. 

“Can’t walk?” You could hear how smug he was without even having to look at him. It was then that you registered the burn in your thighs and huffed. 

“Don’t sound so proud about it.”

“You’re no fun,” he pouted, leaving you to scoff as he helped you to your feet, following suit. “I’ll help you clean up. Do you wanna watch the new episode after?” 

Ah yes. Of course, he’d start talking about anime after taking away your ability to stand. That had been the reason he had shown up at your dorm in the first place, but the moment he saw you wearing his shirt, it had quickly become an afterthought.  

The whiplash you felt was indescribable, and you could only nod, letting him pick you up and carry you to the bathroom. After a quick shower and change of clothes, the two of you settled down with your laptop like nothing had happened, your head resting on his shoulder as you focused on the show.

Neither of you bothered to talk about your redefined friendship despite having sex regularly. It was just….a new addition. A benefit that you were both taking advantage of, nothing more and nothing less. 

But even as you reminded yourself of that now, you found yourself doubting it.

There was something to be said about formal events. 

You enjoyed getting dolled up as much as the next girl, but that was where the fun ended. Having to sit through the event was boring and not the way you liked to spend your Friday evenings. You would have much preferred staying in and catching up on some much-needed sleep.

The editor of your university’s paper, Jenna, had organised an affair that was being held in one of the college halls. She had worked very hard on it, inviting several alumni who were all successful in the fields of journalism and writing back so that the current batch of students had the chance to make connections. It was open to the entire student body, but she had made it clear that everyone on the paper was obligated to attend. 

Connections were what helped people get further in life. You were grateful for the opportunity to interact with industry professionals, but didn’t understand why she had insisted on keeping it a black tie affair. That probably had something to do with keeping up appearances. 

You stood off to the side, sipping on your cranberry juice from a cup that was made for something much more refined. So far, you had spoken to a couple of the guests, but seeing that you had been here for over an hour already, your social battery was slowly dying out. The dress you wore was a black number, floor length, form-fitting and plain except for the slit that reached up to a little above your knee. Perfect for an event like this, not too much and on power with what everyone else was wearing. 

Still, it was a little overstimulating. You guzzled down the rest of your juice and placed the empty glass down on one of the tables. 

“You’re welcome, by the way.”

You spun on your heels immediately at that voice, eyes widening and settling on the culprit who stood two, maybe three steps away from you. 

“Caleb?” You asked in disbelief, taking in his presence. He was wearing a suit.

“The one and only,” he grinned, his hands stuffed in his pockets. “Here to rescue you from your boredom.”

“What are you even doing here?” To say this wasn’t his scene would be an understatement. He didn’t like wearing the whole suit getup, much preferring casual clothing. Hell, Caleb hadn’t even attended his high school prom (though when you asked why, he would never give you a straight answer), opting to spend the night in with you instead. 

He looked unfairly good. The collar of his shirt hid those lovely collarbones of his and reminded you of how you had bit down on them the other day, the bottom of it tucked into black slacks. He had even worn dress shoes, instead of the sneakers he so loved and a tie around his neck. The entire getup.

“I literally just told you why. To get you out of here. Are you hard of hearing now?”

You returned his jibe with an exasperated sound. “I meant here, at this thing.”

“Oh. Well, you did mention it was open to anyone yesterday,” he shrugged, grabbing a glass of juice and sipping on it. “So that editor of yours technically can’t complain about me being here.” 

That was true. Still, you found yourself bewildered as you stared at him. He was here. For some reason, even though he was allowed to be here, it didn’t make sense to you. You pressed your lips together and cocked your head to the side, studying him. 

“So you dressed up and came here.…only to convince me to leave?” The notion sounded strange even to you. Why on earth would he do that? He finished up his drink and put it down next to your empty glass, taking a step closer to you. The simple movement had butterflies erupt in the pits of your stomach.

What the hell?

“Stop thinking so much. Do you want to stay?”

You considered it. “Not really, no.”

“Do you enjoy arguing with me for no reason, woman?” he muttered dryly under his breath, his eyes catching on something over your head. “On second thought, I think you should stay a little longer.”

Now you were just plain confused. One moment he was talking about saving you from boredom, and the next he was insisting you stay? Before you could undoubtedly start another argument just to spite him, he took you by your shoulders and spun you around, pointing in a certain direction. When you figured out what, or rather, who he was gesturing to, you couldn’t hide your gasp. 

“Isn’t that the author you like?”

You could only nod dumbly. “Raymond.” Last year, you had a phase where you only read his books day in and day out, absorbing the stories he spun like a sponge. His books were the reason you had decided to start writing your own in the first place, inspired by his storytelling skills. 

Caleb nudged your side gently, “Go.”

“How–” you cut yourself off, looking up at him. “How do you even remember that?” You weren’t sure why this entire interaction with him was throwing you off so much, but you felt completely unbalanced. You hadn’t spoken about Raymond or his work in a long time, so how did he know?  He shrugged noncommittally. 

“I know you.” He said it so plainly, like it was something trivial and basic, but his eyes bored into yours. 

Had Caleb always looked at you with such quiet intensity?

He nudged your side gently, reminding you to move. Forcing yourself out of your stupor, you promised him you wouldn’t take too much time and walked over, buzzing with excitement.

The conversation itself wasn’t long, but it was insightful. He answered all your questions about the industry, and you even had the chance to share for appreciation for Raymond's work as well as ask him questions that you had about his novels. You gave him your utmost attention when he gave you advice, but when he started talking about his characters, your eyes and mind wandered.

Back to your best friend, who was waiting for you on the other end of the hall, leaning against one of the walls and scrolling through his phone. He didn’t give a flying fuck about this event, but had still come here for your sake, even when you hadn’t asked him to. He glanced up, his eyes meeting yours, and flashing you a small smile.

Oh.

You looked away and back at Raymond, nodding politely and tuning yourself back into the conversation. Internally, however, you were freaking out. Something was very wrong; that was the only reason you could conjure up at the moment for what was happening to you. How else could you explain the sudden sweatiness of your palms, or the odd, fluttery feeling in your stomach? Maybe it was the excitement you felt from meeting the author you loved so much, but even as you considered this possibility, you knew it wasn’t the answer you were looking for.

Oh.

Oh fuck.

This could not be happening. You plastered a smile on your face as you tried to pay attention to whatever Raymond was talking about, but the damage was done. Your brain had never been one to let go of a single thought you had, especially ones that had to do with Caleb. He had a hold on you that no one else did, and why was that?

Because you liked Caleb.

The horrifying realisation hit you, startling you out of your rapidly spiralling thought process. Blinking, you realised Raymond was done speaking. 

“Thank you so much for your time,” You said, trying not to sound as troubled as you felt. The author smiled at you before turning to another student. 

Swallowing the newfound lump in your throat, you turned around and walked back to Caleb. This was bad. Having sex with him was already vaguely immoral and probably something that shouldn’t have happened– and shouldn’t keep happening like it did– but having feelings for him? That was out of the question.

“Good talk?” He asked, slipping his phone into his pocket. The genuine interest he had in your excitement made the entire situation worse. Why were you noticing all this now, of all times? It wasn’t like he had suddenly turned into someone considerate. He had always been this way; it was written into his DNA. 

You realised he had even tried to tame his hair for today. “It was great.”

“I’m glad. Now I can steal you away from this place.” His eyes were lit up with mischief, just like they did when the two of you were younger and he did something he wasn’t supposed to. Ever the rebel, this one. 

You felt a little guilty. All this effort for you? It seemed completely useless. “Okay, but Caleb, seriously, you didn’t have to do this.” 

He frowned. “Didn’t have to do what?”

“This!” You waved in his general direction and then gestured around. “I mean, you don’t even like wearing a suit, but here you are. It’s not like it's compulsory for you like it is for me. You could be doing anything else.” You were rambling, you knew, but it was hard to stop. He rolled his eyes. 

“Has that stopped me before?”

You paused. “What do you mean?”

“I show up to your newsroom even though I’m sure Jenna wants to castrate me for breaking the rules so much.” He raised an eyebrow. “I attended that lecture of yours when you had a presentation. You know I’m here because I want to be.” You knew he said stuff like this all the time, you always were the recipient of his support. This was normal.

But it didn’t feel normal. For fucks sake, this was the boy you had grown up with. He had seen you fall off your bike, fail tests and puke your guts out when drunk. In each of those situations, he had also been the one to pick you up and bandage your wounds, help you study and hold your hair back for you. 

Did he think it was an obligation now? 

“You….you shouldn’t feel like you have to do that.” You said slowly, but he didn’t let you continue.

“Oh, please. Everyone knows that where you go, I go too.” He flicked your forehead, immediately receiving a glare in return. “We’re like…….” He stopped for a moment, eyebrows furrowing and lips pursing like they always did when he was thinking hard about something. Then he snapped his fingers. “We’re like those yoghurt-granola snack packs!”

You stared at him blankly. “What?”

“You know.” He decided to explain his stupid analogy, as if your head wasn’t muddled enough. “Those things you can buy at the grocery store. The small yoghurt tubs that have a container filled with granola on top of them? Like, they’re both okay separately, but much better when together. People buy those packs for a reason.” He slipped his phone back into his pockets and beamed at you. “We’re like that.”

Oh my god. That barely made any sense. You weren’t sure if you were mortified because of that terrible explanation or because it hadn’t put a damper on your newfound feelings for him. “You’re such a fucking dork.”

He feigned offence, holding his hand over his heart. “Excuse me? You mean cute, right?”

Right. Wait, no, you didn’t. Ugh. “I thinkx ridiculous.”

“Are you coming with me or not, Pips?”

“But Jenna insisted-”

He rubbed a hand over his face in annoyance before fixing you with a droll look. “Would you rather be here or be with me?”

Be with you. 

You ignored the way your stomach flipped. You didn’t have the time or the mental stability to process everything that was happening to you right now. The logical part of your brain swooped in, telling you that you were just confused because of the sex. Yes, that was it. You did not have feelings for Caleb Xia.

Sighing, you relented. “You.” Saying that didn’t mean anything, after all. Nothing about the two of you meant anything, so there was no reason for you to be freaking out, even if it sounded like you had just confessed. A wide grin made a show on his face when he realised he had won, and he tilted his head towards the exit.

“Finally. Wanna get out of here?”

“Just to be clear, this is not what I meant when I asked if you wanted to get out of there.”

You huffed out a soft laugh, fingers curling around his tie as you tugged him closer. “No? Could have sworn you planned for us to end up in a janitor's closet.��

Caleb bit back a laugh of his own, knowing that making too much noise would get both of you in trouble. After leaving the event, somehow, his guiding hand on your hip had turned into the two of you making out in the hallway. You blamed the mess that your head was in for not realising what a bad idea that was immediately, but once you did, you did the most responsible thing you could think of.

And dragged him into the janitor's closet that was close by.

Naturally.

He braced a hand over your head on the cabinet that you were leaning against, essentially caging you in as he dipped his head to kiss you again. “Pretty sure that was you’re doing.”

“Excuse me? You’re the one who kissed me first!” You protested against his mouth, but could hardly complain when he kissed you like it was a relief to do so. Honestly, he was probably the best kisser you had ever experienced.

That must have been the reason for your spiralling thoughts. That and the amazing sex that you were so weak to. 

Yep. That’s all. Anyone could be susceptible to such things.

“Can you blame me? Have you seen yourself in this dress?” His free hand slipped into the slit at your knee, slowly dragging the rest of the dress up until it was bunched up around your waist. “You’re stunning.”

He couldn’t stop kissing you. He knew he shouldn’t have kissed you out there like he had the right to, because he was well aware of the unspoken rules of this arrangement, but he couldn’t help it. If getting too comfortable with whatever you had going on with him was a crime, a sin, then he was a criminal of the highest order. The worst part? He didn’t feel a shred of guilt.

But you were wearing that fucking cherry lip gloss, and god knnows he had waited long enough to taste it.

Warmth spread over your chest first before it rushed to the apex between your legs. The control he seemed to have over your body was truly astounding. In his hands, you were putty. 

“You don’t look so bad yourself,” You whispered back, loosening the knot of his tie and pulling it off completely, dropping it to the side. “This suits you.”

His lips twitched. “The suit suits me?”

“Shut up and kiss me, loser.”

He complied, grinning against your mouth as he pulled you into another earth-shattering kiss that did positively nothing to soothe your frayed nerves. Stubbornly, you pushed down the feelings bubbling around the confines of your heart, refusing to give them any attention if you could help it. 

You gripped the front of his suit jacket, helping him peel it off his shoulders and letting it join his tie on the floor. Without warning, he pressed a knee in between your legs, and you nearly melted against him. 

Sex was great. Sex with him was phenomenal. This was just the lust getting to you. 

Caleb gripped the leg that your slit now exposed and lifted it, propping it up against his waist. He trailed his fingers against your inner thigh, his touch feather-light yet scorching at the same time. When his index and middle finger pressed against your clothed cunt, you were glad for the hot he had on you, pressed up against the cabinet, because you would have surely buckled if not. 

“Wow,” he mumbled amusedly, pushing your panties to the side and teasing your wetness. “You really like the suit, huh?”

The fact that this type of interaction was now commonplace should have been the first sign that things had gone too far. 

Usually, you couldn’t think straight when he touched you like this, but today it was all a mix of feeling way too much and dangerous, fleeting thoughts that made you want to tear your hair out. 

“Maybe,” You peppered kisses along the column of his throat, determined to get out of your head and focus only on how good he could make you feel. Pleasure and person were entirely separate entities, and you would make sure it stayed that way.

“Suit kink.”

“Never say that again.” 

He only smirked, plunging his fingers into you. All you could do was cry out as you gripped the front of his shirt, momentarily forgetting that you were supposed to be quiet. Quickly, his palm covered your mouth, muffling any further sounds you could make. “Can’t have you being loud here, princess. What if someone catches us?”

The way you practically gushed the moment he suggested someone catch you in such a compromising position was downright embarrassing. Raising an eyebrow, he leaned even lower and whispered. “Oh? You like that?”

You whined against his hand, cheeks flushing furiously. You began fiddling with the top buttons of his shirt, and he chuckled lowly. 

“For someone who likes my suit so much, you sure are trying to get rid of it quickly.” 

“For someone who was dying to kiss me two minutes ago, you talk too much.” You rocked your hips against his hand even as you sassed him back. He moved his hand from your mouth into your hair, carding it through gently, tugging slightly to tilt your head back for him so he could kiss you again, swallowing every sound you made. 

No one could sue you for being attracted to a hot man. That was just biology.

You could feel the familiar tightening of your core, signalling your impending crash. You broke away from the kiss, licked your lips and palmed him over his pants, earning a hiss of pleasure in return. 

“Don’t– don’t do that,” He choked out, and you smirked triumphantly, refusing to relent on your movements. Batting your eyelashes, you stared up at him through them in faux innocence, unaware that it affected him so much more than you thought. 

“Just fuck me already.” You whined, half out of desperation for him and party because now you needed him to fuck you to prove to yourself that this was just sex. To be able to brush away all the compliments he dropped that seemed to go straight to your head, to get the intoxicaing fucking way he kissed you out of your head and away from further dissection. To stop the slow-burning feeling of yearning that was growing inside of you for the boy you had grown up with.

Because you couldn’t possibly have feelings for him. You shouldn’t.

“Fuck, okay,” He slipped his fingers out of you and unbuttoned his pants, releasing his cock. You would never get used to the sight of it, precum already leaking out of the tip; the image itself sending shivers down your spine in anticipation of him. 

He pressed back against you, grinding it against your fluttering pussy, going right back to making out with you. It was like he was devouring you whole, claiming every part of you like it had always belonged to him. You could feel yourself get carried away again, forgetting that this was just something he and you did now. 

And then he froze. 

“Shit,” he muttered. “I don’t have a condom.” 

You were too far gone to even care anymore. Cupping his face, you pulled him into another messy kiss, beyond delighted when he moaned, still rubbing his length through your slick folds with a want that rivalled your own. “Put it in.”

Caleb gritted his teeth. “Pips, thats–”

“I’m on birth control,” you kissed his jaw. “And I trust you. I’ve always trusted you.”

That was undeniably the truth. He was the one person in the world that you didn’t have to think twice about when it came to anything, no matter what the situation. He blinked down at you, pupils blown wide with desire but somehow still so focused on you, holding your sides so gently as he hesitated, silently dealing with the conflict in his head. 

“I…..are you sure?”

Oh, this sweet, considerate boy. How could you not love him? The thought was instantly forced to be a passing one as you push it away, refusing to acknowledge it. 

“Caleb, if you don’t stick your dick inside of me right now, I will cut it off.” The threat earned you a winded chuckle from his end, the strain in his face from holding back so painfully evident. Realising he needed another push, you looked into his eyes, bucking your hips against him and licking your lips as you purred. “Now, fuck me.”

There was a reason you phrased it like that. Crude and so filthy, the words set out a challenge for him. If there was one thing you knew about Caleb, it was that he could never back down from a challenge. His eyes darkened as he grabbed both your wrists and pinned them together above your head with one hand, positioning his cock at your entrance.

Without another warning, he slammed into you, once again covering your mouth to soften the obscenely loud broken moan that left you. He pressed his fingers against your lips, smirking mischievously. 

“This is what you wanted, hmm?” He groaned in your ear as he fucked you hard, making it increasingly difficult for you to stay silent. You knew he was doing it on purpose, remembering how he had briefly confessed that he liked it when you were vocal, but here? Here it was risky and stupid, and you couldn’t believe how into it you were.

“Yes,” You gasped, biting his hand at a particularly hard thrust, doing your utmost best to keep all your noises to a minimum. He was just so good, and the feeling of him bare inside of you was almost too much for you. 

“God baby, you feel incredible,” he panted, never relenting on his pace for even a second. His breathing was heavy in your ear, almost pained, along with soft grunts that only succeeded in making you even wetter.

“So b-big,” you could only whimper, too caught up in it all to speak properly. 

He had well and truly ruined you for anyone else. Your heart and mind were at war with each other, but your body was perfectly content with how he held you like this. With nothing between you, he fucked you raw, and it felt so much more intimate than you thought it would have. You could feel everything, hyperaware of every touch and kiss and overwhelming drag of his cock in your sobbing cunt. 

For a moment, you almost wished it wasn’t this good. If only you had never succumbed to your desires that day, maybe you wouldn’t have found yourself in this position, fighting so desperately against feelings that felt so wrong and right at the same time. All this was supposed to have been a temporary fix, a means to an end. Not the start of something you could never see through. 

When both of you came, it was intense and devastating, holding onto each other like nothing else mattered. You could feel him fill you up with his cum and as you went limp, one last terrifying realisation making itself known to you. 

It wasn’t just sex. 

A shattered breath escaped you at the revelation, and you shut your eyes, trying to reason with yourself one last time, but to no avail. Caleb surrounded you completely, holding you up upright with so much care, so deliberately, that it made total sense why you felt this way. With unending affection, he pulled you against him and kissed the crown of your head. 

“Thats my girl.”

Except you weren’t. And it would be better for everyone if you remembered that.

You were writing. 

It had been so long since you had been able to write like this, but the ability had come rushing back to you all of a sudden. Your fingers flew across your keyboard as you steadily typed, focused and satisfied at the work you were producing for the first time in months.

It was two in the morning when you finally snapped out of your concentrated state, yawning as you shut your laptop. Stretching, you quietly padded to your bathroom to get ready for the night and go to bed. You couldn’t believe you had written almost half of the sex scene when even the prospect of starting it had sounded so unachievable not too long ago. 

Courtesy of Caleb, you had plenty of material to pull from.

You splashed water on your face, hoping the cool temperature of it would help you stop thinking about him. To say you were frustrated with your feelings was an understatement; you outright despised them. 

This was your fault, you knew damn well it was. If you were going to get a fuckbuddy, it should have been someone who you weren’t so close to, someone you had no personal connections with. Anyone but the best friend you've had since you were seven years old, who you knew like the back of your hand, who knew you like it was second nature to do so.

Gripping the sides of the sink, you shut your eyes, grounding yourself to the moment. Part of you wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it all. How on earth did you let yourself get in such a predicament?

You needed it to stop. For these confusing feelings to leave before things got even more complicated than they already were. Somehow, you needed to forget about them.

But how could you possibly do that? How were you supposed to forget the deliberate way he kissed you, or how good he made you feel when he looked at you that way? How were you supposed to get the scent of his cologne out of your sheets and closet, or pretend like you didn’t know what it was like to be touched by him? 

How on earth were you supposed to get over being in love with him?

You didn’t even notice him walking in. 

Writing for your book again meant that you had fallen behind quite a bit when it came to the work you had due for the paper. As a result, you had to stay behind and work late on the articles you had to present to Jenna, stuck at your desk in the newsroom when it was almost nine-thirty at night.

“Thought I’d find you here.” 

Your eyes flickered up to find Caleb standing in front of your desk, one hand stuffed in his pockets and the other holding a bag of takeout from a diner that both of you liked. He gave you a soft, knowing smile that made your mouth go dry. 

“Hey,” you straightened up in your seat, knowing that your posture tended to get worse the longer you wrote for. “You were looking for me?”

“Not exactly.” He grabbed a chair and parked it next to yours, sitting down. “I just figured you’d be working and forget to have dinner.”

“Oh.”

He was right, and you would have been embarrassed if this hadn’t happened before. Wordlessly, he began unpacking the takeout he had gotten. “Take a break for ten minutes and eat, okay?” 

This was just like him. Knowing exactly when you needed to be taken care of while being well aware you could do just fine by yourself. You bit the inside of your cheek as you watched him, apprehensively nodding slowly. 

“Okay.”

You grabbed a fry and began to chew, turning to face him and away from the computer. He looked the same as always, unkempt hair and all. It was like he knew you were tired and a little out of it today without you even having to tell him, falling into a comfortable silence as he ate with you. 

There wasn’t another soul in this world that knew you so intimately. In the past, this wouldn’t have scared you, because you were so used to him and the ways he fit into your life so perfectly. Now, it frightened you to no end, reminding you of how much you had to lose when it came to Caleb. He was the most precious person in your life, which made it so much easier to fear losing him. 

If there were rules when it came to having a best friend, you were certain you had broken all of them. Number one: Don’t sleep with your best friend. Already off to a rough start with that one, it seemed, but there was nothing you could do about it anymore. Number two: Don’t fall for your best friend. You doubted you even needed to go over the rest of the rules. Breaking those two had caused you enough damage. 

Finishing up his food, he took a sip of his soda, noticing you were watching him intently. For the first time in a long time, he couldn’t quite decipher the look in your eyes. It almost felt as if you were hiding it from him on purpose.

He tilted the soda cup to you, silently asking if you wanted some of his. You leaned closer and took the straw in your mouth, taking a couple of sips before looking away. 

Something was off. “Is everything okay?”

You pressed your lips together and gave him a half smile. “Yeah, everything's fine.”

Caleb narrowed his eyes at you, reaching out and propping a finger under your chin, lifting your face so you were forced to look at him. 

“Pipsqueak,” He mumbled, dropping his gaze to your mouth for a split second, but it was enough to make you feel like you were set on fire. Like you were made of porcelain, he swiped his thumb next to your lower lip, rubbing away a stray crumb that had stuck there from your food. Then he looked at your mouth again, subconsciously leaning towards you as if he was about to kiss you. 

Immediately, you jerked out of his touch. Guilt ate away at you when you noticed how he reacted to this, the flash of hurt that passed over his face as he frowned. As much as you hated being the cause of it, the way he was looking at you has started to inexplicably hurt. You were unable to stop the tenderness that unfolded in your chest anymore. It was potent, too real to fight against. 

“We should stop.”

The words were out of your mouth before you could think about them any further, inciting confusion. He retracted his hand, the corners of his furrowed eyebrows tilting upwards. “Dinner? Because we’re pretty much done with that anyway.”

You could have taken advantage of his confusion and put this conversation off for a while, but you knew that letting this go on any longer would end up being torturous. 

“No, Caleb,” You looked away, trying to ignore the way your throat seemed to close in on itself. “I’m not talking about dinner.”

“Then what are you talking about?” His voice took on that impossibly soft tone it did when he was trying to understand how you were feeling to properly help or sympathise with you. It was something he did when you were younger and got hurt, and he wanted to make sure you knew you weren’t dealing with it alone. 

Sucking in a breath of air, you looked down at your hands in your lap, playing with your fingers. “I think we should stop having sex.”

A beat passed. You could feel the weight of his stare on you. “Okay.”

You weren’t sure where to go from there, your heart pounding within your ribcage like it was trying to escape. The light from your computer felt too harsh and the ticking of the clock hands was unnaturally loud in the stiff silence that settled over the two of you. Clearing his throat, he spoke again. 

“Did…Did I do something?”

“No,” the caution yet dejected way he said it made you blurt that out quickly, refusing to let him think something was completely wrong. “You didn’t. At all. It’s just…..” You trailed off, biting your tongue and regretting bringing this up already. “I….I wrote the scene.”

“The scene?”

“The sex scene. In my book.” The awkwardness in your cadence is foreign to your ears and his. You had never been so apprehensive around him because you had never had a reason to. This was a first you despised vehemently, scorning the way you had to phrase everything so delicately, as if you didn’t, the damage caused would be irreparable. 

“Right.” Now he had an unreadable look in his eyes too, matching yours. 

“Right,” you echoed softly. “So there's no reason for anymore…...research.” Because research had spiralled into forgetting your regular roles when it came to each other. Research had made you aware of feelings that had been dormant your entire life and should have stayed that way. 

In an ironic twist of fate, you had literally fucked around and found out. 

“I see.” 

You didn’t know what possessed you to keep talking when it was so obvious that both him and you wanted nothing more than to move on from this conversation. You risked a glance at him to find him aimlessly tracing the edge of his soda cup, eyes trained on the straw. “So we can go back to being just friends. Regular friends.” 

The clarification made you wince. When his eyes met yours again, you were surprised to find something different in the way he looked at you– those dark purple depths swirling with an intensity that superseded their usual levels, startling you. 

“We’ll always be friends, Y/n.”

Caleb didn’t call you pipsqueak. A minute detail that shouldn’t have shaken you at all, and yet here you were stuck on it in spite of the fact that he had just agreed to being friends again. Or rather, the normal definition of friends, because you weren’t ever anything more than that. You swallowed, turning back to your computer.

“Okay. I should get back to working on this article.”

Your dismissal of him was quiet but obvious. The air had started to get suffocating and you needed as much space from him as you could get until you sorted out the mess in your head, one that was your cross to bear. Your fault.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw him nod and get to his feet, turning to leave, but hesitating for just a moment. 

It was only when he exited the newsroom that you realised it wasn’t any easier to breathe without him there. It felt even harder now, like someone had their foot over your chest and was putting all their weight on it, letting gravity do the rest of the work. You pushed yourself away from your desk, the wheels under your chair smoothly rolling away until the back of it hit the wall behind you. 

Even the impact of that wasn’t enough to shock you out of your misery. Surely, love wasn’t supposed to feel as cruel as it did right now, like claws sinking into your skin and making you bleed. It shouldn’t have felt wrong, but you knew that it was. Perhaps this was retribution for allowing yourself to indulge in something that was so clearly off-limits to you. 

A familiar pressure built up behind your eyes as you turned resentful. The sting of your sorrow manifested as tears welled up and caught in your lower lashes. You shut your eyes, but not before those tears slid down your face, cementing the bitter, indisputable reality of your heartbreak.

Caleb stayed away. 

He had known damn well that whatever was between the two of you wasn’t forever. It wasn’t even real, solely for the sake of your writing and the book you were so proud of. It was his fault for getting caught up in it all and expecting you to never call it off, to stay in that limbo with him forever.

Saying no to you was something he wasn't capable of. Not when he was ten and you were eight, and you wanted the last piece of cake even though it was his favourite flavour. Not when he was fifteen and you used to beg him to let you wear his shirts because you liked how oversized they were on you. Not when you would give him puppy eyes and sweetly ask him to cook those braised chicken wings you loved so much. 

And not when you needed help with writing about sex.

Even if it went against all his morals and everything he had forced himself to believe for the past twelve years he had known you. He had held himself together around you for as long as he could remember, hands to himself and thoughts strictly friendly. Caleb was used to the best friend role. He was good at playing it, even when the script pained him to recite, he did so anyway with a smile on his face.

Because smiling back at him was you. It was always you, with your bright eyes and angelic laughter. 

Caleb had accepted this role when he was only nine years old and had stuck to it ever since. He let it consume him, living in ignorant bliss as he silenced the pleas of his heart and what it wanted, no, begged for. 

How was he supposed to know where to go from here? The script had deviated too much for him to return to its safety. He knew how your lip gloss tasted, sweet and inviting and maddening, just like everything else about you. 

So he stayed away from you and your cherry lip gloss, hoping the marks it had left all over him would fade.

It had been almost two weeks since Caleb last set foot in the newsroom. 

Jenna was overjoyed and Tara was suspicious. The latter asked you where your ‘boyfriend’ was, to which you refused to look at her as you muttered the reminder: he’s not my boyfriend. It felt like you were reminding yourself more than her, lacking any of your usual annoyance. 

You supposed this was your fault as well. It wasn’t like you had made any effort to reach out either, stuck in your pathetic little cycle of self-pity and fear. You felt his absence, though, cutting deep into you and leaving you with a Caleb-sized hole in your life. The last time you experienced something like this was when he left for university for the first time and you were finishing up your senior year, suddenly having to deal with not having him around for months on end. 

At least he was calling you back then, and when you joined him at university, it never happened again. You hadn’t realised what a big part of your life he was until he was missing from it. 

God, you missed him.

You missed that stupid, smug chuckle of his when he knew you were getting riled up because of something he said, and his terrible sense of humour. The smirk on his face when you were losing an argument, and how he’d stick his tongue out when he was concentrating on something. Hell, you missed the sound of his voice and the comfort it brought you. 

After you finished your work for the day, you walked out of the newsroom and down the hallways of the university building. The cool evening air swept around you, making you think of one of Caleb's jackets that was still in your dorm from the last time he had been, draped over your desk chair. You almost wished you had it with you right now. 

Your feet carried you to the dining hall, reminding you of your need to eat through the wall of your troubled thoughts. It was not so much hunger as it was a necessity. Your appetite had been less than robust these past few days, your emotions weighing you down in more ways than one. You didn’t have him to remind you to eat or sleep, or run like a normal human being.

Grabbing an apple to appease your stomach, you bit into it and looked around, mentally going over everything else you had to do that day. Start an essay you had due the next week, beg the members of your group to do their parts of the presentation that was worth a whopping thirty percent of your grade and polish the last scene you had written for your book. 

It turned out that your turbulent emotional state had translated into you being more productive than ever, throwing yourself into your studies and writing like you had never before. Anything to avoid thinking about him and what you felt. An unhealthy coping mechanism for sure, but it worked for you. 

Kind of. 

Unable to stomach anything else, you tossed the core of the apple into a nearby dustbin and left the dining hall, eager to make it back to your room. You hadn’t slept very well lately, and you wanted to get all your work out of the way before crashing. Sleeping, you discovered, was another excellent course of action to take when you wanted to avoid facing something, and at least it wasn’t downright unhealthy. The dark circles under your eyes would certainly thank you. 

When you turned the corner, he was there.

Caleb stood there, just a few paces away from you in all his six-two glory. His back was turned to you, but you knew it was him, deep in conversation with his friend, Gideon. You were unable to do anything but stare, your pulse picking up in speed at the sight of him. You wondered if the chasm he had created between the two of you had affected him as much as it had you. 

When he bid farewell to Gideon and turned, you panicked. When he saw you, you remained rooted to the spot, watching as his steps faltered and came to a stop. He looked almost as tired as you felt, dawdling briefly before speaking.

“Hey.” 

Hey. Hey? Was that all he could say after refusing to look your way for over a week? Your apprehension flared up into anger, and you took three furious steps towards him, your docile stare melting into a glare. 

“You sure talk a lot of shit about keeping you informed for someone who has been avoiding me.”

He winced. “I wasn’t….avoiding you.”

“Oh really? Could have fooled me.” You scowled at him as you took another step forward. You were pissed, and rightly so, but it stemmed more from how hurt you felt rather than any genuine anger. 

Caleb didn’t bother to meet your eyes, opting to look off to the side instead. That stung a little more than you cared to admit. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled, shifting his weight from one foot to another. “Have you eaten yet?’ Barely five minutes around you, and he had already jumped into trying to take care of you. It was so infuriatingly like him. 

Every time he didn’t want to face something, he would deflect and redirect the conversation. Your years together had taught you well, making it impossible for him to sidestep you even if he tried. You could tell he was avoiding you even when you were right in front of him. 

“Stop changing the subject.”

You watched as his jaw tightened and relaxed, something he did when he was conflicted. All his tells were so laughably obvious to you, and yet you couldn’t make heads or tails of how he was acting right now, so forcibly distant and detached, like being close to you was painful. Your eyes burned.

“Do you hate me?” You asked, hating how your voice suddenly sounded so feeble. His eyes snapped back to yours, wide and defiant. 

“I could never hate you.” The finality in the way he said it told you he was telling the truth, and yet, you couldn’t help but fall victim to the doubt creeping into your mind. He was looking right at you now– except he wasn’t really. It was more like he was looking through you. 

“Then…then why?” You whispered, taking another tentative step forward. The space that both of you created, consciously or not, was unbearable. You just wanted things to go back to normal, was that so much to ask for?

“I don’t hate you. You just don’t understand.” 

“Then make me understand!” You threw your hands up in the air in exasperation, wondering what the hell you had to do to make this conversation go somewhere, because right now it just felt like you were running in circles. “Caleb, please, just tell me why you’re avoiding me, because you are.”

He knew he was and hadn’t a single excuse, other than the reason he swore you never burdened you with. You were looking at him so pleadingly, grasping at straws to figure him out, but for the first time in his life, he found himself unable to give you an answer. Instead, his throat constricted, his anxiety keeping him silent. 

“It’s my fault, isn’t it?” Your face crumbled, and upon witnessing it, so did his heart. Your lower lip trembled like a leaf on a windy day, and you bit down on it to stop it from doing so, doing your best to stay composed. Running a hand through your hair, you let out a shaky sigh. “I knew it, I should have never– we shouldn’t have slept together. That should have never happened and now everything is fucked up, and its all because of me.” 

Yes. No. The answer wasn’t as straightforward as he needed it to be, and it paralysed him. The anguish you felt was on display for him and anyone who happened to walk by you to see, plain as day, as it twisted your features. It felt as if he had been stabbed in the gut when you backed away from him.

Turning away, you walked off. You had ruined things, you were sure of it, and it killed you. Once again, you let the rift between him and you grow with every step you took to escape the crash you had been responsible for. 

A hand on your wrist. You gasped as he caught you, spinning you around and forcing you to face him once again. 

Caleb had followed you into the gardens. 

“Do you regret it?”

The question cut through you, and you gaped at him. The fervour you were so used to seeing in him suddenly returned, burning brightly in his eyes as he pinned you in place with them, his grip on your wrist never letting up. Question for question, with neither of you getting the answers you wanted. 

You scoffed, rapidly blinking away the tears that you felt coming on. “If it's the reason things are weird between us, then yes! I do regret it. I need my best friend, Caleb. I need you.” 

How could you not need him? He was your constant, the one person who had been by your side through thick and thin. You needed him in your life, by your side, in whatever way you were allowed to, even if it wasn’t what you truly wanted anymore. 

He let go of your wrist. “I can’t do it.”

Your biggest fear was coming true right in front of your very eyes, and you hadn’t the faintest idea of how to stop it. It was taking form, bleeding into existence. You were losing him. 

“You can’t do what?”

“I can’t be your friend. I just can’t.” He shook his head, shutting his eyes like he couldn’t bear to look at you. 

Your voice comes out weak. Small. “But you said we’ll always be friends.”

“Well, I lied, okay! I can’t be your friend, not when–” He sucked in a breath, rubbing a hand over his face as he tried to reign himself in, stopping his outburst before it could happen. It wasn’t fair to you, none of this was, but he was at his breaking point. “I could do it before, but not anymore.”

“Why?” You whispered, those tears you had so valiantly fought off surging back. Once again, you felt like you had been trampled on, pinned down by a merciless gravity that had no regard for your need to breathe. You weren’t sure there was a reason to fight against it anymore. 

He looked up at the darkening sky, deflating. Staying away from you hadn’t made it any better– if anything, it had only made it worse, his yearning to be beside you bubbling to an all-time high. There wasn’t a point in hiding anymore, not when it was turning out to be detrimental rather than soothing. 

“Because,” he paused, peering up at the cloudy sky. He couldn’t see the stars. “I can’t go back to being your friend when I’ve tasted you. How am I supposed to act like I’ve never kissed you when I’ve had you in my bed? To pretend like I don’t know how it feels to have you like that? God, Y/n, I can’t do it.

Caleb, whom you had viewed as strong and untouchable all your life. Caleb, whom you had endlessly looked up to, sounded almost tortured, like it pained him to even have to tell you this. 

“What are you saying?”

You hoped you didn’t look as terrified as you sounded. It felt as if someone had pulled the rug out from beneath you, but the ground underneath it was falling apart too, leaving you to stumble around and try to find your footing amidst the cracks that remained. If you fell now, you weren’t sure you’d ever be able to get up.

But that was the thing, wasn’t it? You had already fallen, and hard. 

Caleb was stripped of his usual self-assuredness and confident smile. He was laid bare there in front of you, fixing you with a look that was so pained it tore through you. 

“I’m in love with you.”

The confession ripped through you, although you didn’t register it at first. Those five words felt so improbable to have been said by him to you of all people that the only thing you could feel was disbelief. It just didn’t make sense. Why would something you longed to hear so badly be said with such sadness? 

He mistook your stunned silence for aversion. He should have stopped there, given up and walked away, but now that he had finally, finally let it out, it was hard to stop. It was like a dam had broken within him; everything he had ever kept to himself when it came to you rushed out all at once. 

“I’m in love with you, Y/n,” he said again, scoffing slightly at himself. No nicknames, just your name spoken in that reverent tone, like you were a divine being he was a devout follower of. “And it kills me because I know you’ll never see me as anything more than a best friend. You’ve made that very clear, and I never want to overstep, so I stayed away from you.” 

“Caleb–”

He didn’t let you cut in. “I could do it when I didn’t know what it felt like to have you as something more than friends. The moment we crossed that line, it was all over for me. I would be your friend until I died if I didn’t know.” His hands were shaking, but they stayed by his sides, fingers curled into frustrated fists as he rambled. 

“I–”

“But I can’t, Pips. I can’t do it anymore. I can’t be your best friend when I’ve loved you my entire life.” And you’re falling all over again, gravity pulling you down, down, down as something unfurled in your chest. “So please just–”

“Goddamnit Caleb, would you just shut up for one fucking minute!?”

You hadn’t meant to snap, but he was seriously to piss you off, going on and on without giving you the chance to speak your mind. Immediately, he clamped his mouth shut, preparing himself for the inevitable rejection he had imagined too many times to count in his head. You, on the other hand, thought you were going to faint, overwhelmed by everything that had just happened. It was everything you had convinced yourself was impossible.

And yet…

You kept your eyes locked onto his as you closed the distance between the two of you, so close now that you could feel the warmth radiating off of him, combating the chill in the evening air. Swallowing, you asked. 

“You’re in love with me?”

He clenched his jaw and nodded. He knew what the consequences were, he was ready for them. It was about time he faced the truth anyway. 

What he didn’t expect was for you to start laughing. 

You clamped a hand over your mouth as incredulous laughter left you, eyes practically sparkling. Oddly enough, it sounded a little watery, like you were crying at the same time.

And then he realised you were, in fact, crying, tears streaming down your face. Alarmed, he stepped forward and cupped your face, instinctively wiping them away with the pads of his thumbs. This did nothing to dampen your hysterical laughter as you leaned into his touch. 

“What the fuck?” He muttered, concern overtaking his previous, heartsick expression. “Are you dying or something?”

“Or something,” you managed to get out, gripping his arms, “We’re so stupid.”

“That…..okay, I’m officially confused. And a little scared.” 

“Caleb,” you whispered once you stopped giggling, lethally soft. You looked up at him adoringly, eyes shining and tinged slightly red from your tears. “I’m in love with you, too.”

He froze, mouth falling open. He didn’t have to say anything, though, because honestly, he had said enough. It was your turn now. 

You leaned further into his touch, nuzzling your cheek against his palm. “I think I’ve loved you for a long time, but I only realised after….after everything that happened between us.” You flushed, trying to word it as delicately as possible. “And I drove myself crazy because I thought you’d never see me that way–”

“I’ve always seen you that way.” He breathed out, those captivating eyes of his trained on you in wonder. Butterflies came to life in your stomach. 

“– So I called it off. I said we needed to stop because I was so scared I’d lose you.”

By the time you finished, you were both staring at each other wide-eyed. His grip on you tightened, one hand falling to your waist as he tugged you closer. 

“You love me?”

“I love you,” you nodded. “It just took me a while to figure it out.” 

“Pipsqueak.” You had never been more grateful than you were right then to hear that stupid petname. “Oh my god, we are stupid.”

Without another word, Caleb pulled you into a kiss. You reciprocated instantly, wrapping your arms around his neck as you smiled against his lips, unable to contain yourself anymore. He kissed you like it was the only thing he ever wanted to do, holding you like you were precious, which to him, you undoubtedly were. It was your first proper kiss with him without any pretence or excuse surrounding it, and you couldn’t have asked for more. 

Chuckling when you dissolved into more giddy giggles, he wiped away any stray tears from your face and rested his forehead against yours. After all these years waiting and hoping that you’d feel the same way, he knew he’d never let you go now. 

“I love you, too.” It was a relief to say out loud and to your face, coming out of hiding and letting the truth of his feelings sit out in the light. You pecked his lips again and hugged him, revelling in his warmth and the delight of your feelings being returned. Your best friend loved you back, and everything in the world made sense again. 

“Don’t be my best friend,” You mumbled fondly, cheek against his shoulder as you laid out your final request. “Just be mine.”

He smiled, an expression so dazzling you’d never forget it. “I’ll always be yours.”

When Caleb looked back at the sky, he could see the stars.

“Are you done?”

“Shh.”

You rolled your eyes, flopping onto the pile of plushes on your bed as you pulled out your phone and went through your messages. To be fair, it had barely been two minutes since you handed him your laptop, but you were impatient, wanting to know what he thought as soon as possible.

Caleb’s eyes were focused on the screen as he read, humming occasionally as he scrolled through the scene. If anyone had told you a year ago that you’d be letting him read a part of your writing, let alone a sex scene of all things, you would have either laughed in their face or had a mental breakdown.

Yet here you were. Life sure had a sense of humour. 

Finally, after an agonising ten minutes, he spoke. “Wow.”

“Is it good?”

He shut your laptop and put it back on your desk carefully, before walking over to where you were. Then, he dropped himself onto the bed as well, purposely caging you in his arms and making sure you were trapped under his weight. Squealing, you hit his arm playfully. 

“Caleb!”

Your boyfriend laughed mischievously, lifting his head so you could see the smirk that curled on his lips. “It was good. Very good.”

You sighed in relief. “Thank god.”

“So I must be really good in bed, huh?” 

There it was. You groaned as you tried to push him off of you, even though you knew it was a futile task. “Don’t even try, you smug asshole.”

“What?” He asked, dripping in faux innocence. “I mean, you did use me for research purposes. Is it not a fair assumption to make?” He was so proud of it, and knew damn well that the entire sex scene he had just read had been falicitated because of him. Every part of it had been pulled from things the two of you had done, the thought of which made your skin heat up and your cheeks burn. 

“You’re so annoying,” you huffed, giving up on trying to get him to stop squashing you. Instead, you adjusted, curling into him. Accepting this, he switched your positions, pulling you on top of him and resting his chin on your shoulder.

“You like it.”

“Unfortunately.”

You yelped when he pinched your side, but it dissolved into giggles when he began peppering kisses all over your face. Slipping his arm around your waist, he held you close, grining against your skin. If you had to stay like this forever, in his arms and under the glow of his radiant smile, you would be content. 

“You’re an amazing writer, Pipsqueak,” he cradled your face in his hands, his love for you so achingly obvious in the way he looked at you that you wondered how you had never noticed it before. Rubbing his fingers against your cheek, he kissed your nose. “It would be just as great even if I hadn’t– uh– assisted.”

Though you snickered at him, you couldn’t stop yourself from beaming at his praise for your work. “I’m glad you did though,” you let him pull you closer, arm looping around your waist as you propped a leg over his. “Otherwise we might have never figured our shit out.”

He snorted. “Thank god for research. You would have kept me in the friendzone forever.”

“Hey!”

He silenced any further protests that you could have made, pressing his lips to yours in a sweet kiss. All possible complaints fled your mind the moment he did, eagerly kissing him back. You didn’t think you’d ever get enough of this and you had no idea how you had survived for so long while denying yourself of it. 

Caleb had loved you for twelve years, steadily standing by your side and holding your hand even when you couldn’t see it. He had walked beside you through it all, the highest of highs and lowest of lows, lifting you up high over his shoulders with a grin on his face. He would never leave you behind, because he was your home. The one you had grown up with and wanted to wake up to everyday for the rest of your life. 

He had taught you love without imposing it on you, silently showing it to you with every little thing he did. Your best friend. Your love. It had taken you a long time to catch up, but when you finally made it to the finish line, you found him waiting there for you patiently, holding out his hand for you to take. 

The next time Tara called him your boyfriend, you didn’t correct her.

fin.

[enhaven]

dew drops ⤑ psh (m.)

summary: with the continuous change of weather, waiting for spring to arrive feels like forever. but when you unexpectedly had to volunteer in participating at your campus’ yearly Easter egg hunt, what you're searching for might be the least of your concerns.

pairing: sunghoon x reader

genre/au: smut, fluff, strangers to lovers, easter!au, university!au

word count: 15.2k

warnings/content: mentions of religion and folklore?, ovulation, making out, exhibitionism, pet names, explicit sexual content, breeding ig? multiple sex scenes, slight corruption?

author’s note: i had visions after i saw this ad back in february but only started writing this near the end of April. it's finally getting warmer here y’all, i hope you enjoy this late Easter treat <3

Easter weekend.

The long weekend that everybody has been looking forward to — particularly those who are working or always busy, you included. Preparations for the grand celebration that weekend took a long time, and it got particularly intense during the last few days. However, much to your relief, you’re free of religious duties on its final day so you were able to celebrate with your family.

But then here you are the day after, back at campus for your university’s annual Easter egg hunt. You weren’t supposed to attend the event but final exams have been rolling out since the second week of the month. There's no way to take ahold of any of your fellow club members to participate, leading you to volunteer as its representative in the end.

The student council already has a hard time to gain any participants since classes are technically over. Students are either busy studying for their upcoming ones or are already gone for vacation. What better way to promote engagement than emphasized that any club participating in the event will get extra funding for the next school year, bonus, if their representatives win the games as well.

So the option to ditch would be a waste.

Especially for you and your club. It's already not on the priority list for campus funding due to its size in comparison to other larger organizations. As an executive member, it's your responsibility to improve the status of your club as long as you're able and this is your chance.

Thankfully though, some of your club members cheered you on so it didn't feel like you were all alone.

“you guys are lucky i love y’all” you huff through the phone as you trudge through the pathway towards the wide clearing. It's located behind the natural sciences building which is right by the forest. There’s a trail here that leads to a bridge then a stream that runs by the clearing before the surrounding trees.

You didn't even need to follow the signs to reach there. The path is pretty familiar to you since you've taken walks here before to clear your mind.

“it’s a de-stressor event anyway! time to relax miss president!” your vice president, Ruka, cheers you on. You did miss her bright energy since she went back home to Japan after her exams finished a week ago. Most, if not all international students usually leave campus as soon as they’re done for the school year.

"yeah yeah whatever, I'm not gonna try to win anything" you roll your eyes even though she couldn't see you.

You're exhausted from all the festivities and had no time to actually rest. Joining this wouldn't be too bad since you're using this as an excuse to relax like she suggested. Find a good spot where you can hide and just sit there until the event is over. You can try to meditate or even sleep then retrieve your proof of participation later.

“you have to! for us!” she protests with a loud wail and jerk from the volume.

“well, none of you are here” you remind her and that quieted her down. You didn't mean for your tone to come out that way, already imagining her pouting at your playful scolding. You shake your head because she's seconds to giving you a long explanation.

“I'm not mad okay?” you clarify just in case. Despite how close you two have gotten, people often times assume things about you a lot. Not that Ruka would, but it became a habit for you over the years.

“i know but i do feel bad” she counters, sounding defeated. “treats when you get back then” you tease to break the awkward silence after and she brightens up. “souvenirs have been ready for you and the rest of course!”

The clearing came into view so you said your goodbye to Ruka. You're just in time when the host begins announcing the details of the event which you didn’t bother listening to. Their voice is loud yes so there's no way you'd miss anything regardless. You're not even taking this seriously, the bare minimum should do.

Walking up to the front, you picked a random small and round woven basket with pastel decorations from the table without much thought. Smiling at the volunteers, you head towards the forest to begin your “hunt”.

Trudging through the trees, the ground doesn't give you a hard time yet. Barely greenery is around and the soil was tender because of the rain from a couple of days ago. Today's weather is better than you expected, slightly cold but not too much that you’re able to wear your halter mini dress that you got from the seasonal sale before the long weekend.

Spring is a bit delayed this year but some flowers have started to bloom. As you walk further into the forest, the grass became more prominent and greener, lifting your mood immediately.

Looking around to check if there are other students with you, there are none. You've seen them dispersed earlier and you were surprised that you ended up alone. Granted that you really didn't want to participate but you thought there would be volunteers monitoring everyone.

They’re probably in the other areas hunting for the golden egg which is the grand price.

You're here to hunt something else and your eyes spots an area behind a blooming garden. It stands out between the trees, its surroundings is filled with luscious greenery which is a perfect spot for you to wind down. Where you are currently is probably beyond the designated area to search but that wasn't your goal anyways.

This one is and you finally found it.

You need to claim it before anyone does. If anyone sees you, they might follow you here and disturb your serenity.

Settling down at a nearby tree trunk, you place your basket to the ground beside you. Taking a deep breath of fresh air, you try to clear your head while you can. It's one of the only times that you can have a peace of mind. Not possible when you're home because it's always been loud.

Leaning back at the trunk, you've looked up to the bright blue sky before closing your eyes. Taking a short nap would be good but the little noise coming from your side snaps your eyes back open. Your heart pumps, debating if you should just go back to sleep and pretend you didn't hear it or not.

But then what if it's just nothing? or worst case, a wild animal who's waiting to pounce.

And you don’t want to alert it. Slowly, you turn to the side, cautious in the way you lift your body off the ground.

The noise stopped, making you pause. However, you're still curious, itching to check what it was just in case you hear it again. Following where you suspect its source could be, you proceed to enter a small clearing beyond the rows of tulips.

You couldn’t be more surprised at the scene.

A very gorgeous man dressed in a light pink polo shirt with a slightly darker shade of pink sweater vest on top. His dress pants matches his polo shirt, the whole fit complimenting your white floral dress.

You’ve never seen him before nor encountered such beauty.

It took you a moment before you start to speak. “excuse me, are you one of the volunteers?” you asked, noticing some colourful and shiny eggs around a small bump by his feet.

He must be so he's definitely here to report you. The council probably added extra volunteers to trick the participants who tried to break rules. You couldn't possibly be the first one to do so.

You spoke too soon.

He looks confused at your question but hesitantly nodded at you with a shy smile. You're taken aback at how dreamy he is from afar, looking extra adorable with his fluffy permed hair. You wonder if it was mandatory for them to dress up for this event. This gorgeous man definitely upped it up a few more levels.

You find yourself smiling so wide as you shift your weight from one leg and vice versa. Your hoping this polite looking volunteer just see it as your enthusiasm for the Easter hunt.

“i heard a noise and thought it was some wild animal” you begin explaining when he didn't even ask you a question. He looks like he wanted you to talk more so internally sigh in relief before you'll start to yap. It happens a lot when you’re nervous, especially around good looking guys.

And you don't want to embarrass yourself. It'll be his first impression of you.

“by the way, is this a special level? that’s why no one has discovered this area yet?”

The consequent questions fly out from your mouth before you could stop them. He didn’t reply, causing you to look at him nervously. He mirrors your anxiousness but maybe he’s just a little shy. Thankfully didn’t mind, nodding at you again.

You're unsure what to do next but he smiles at you, washing away your concerns. Deciding to approach him, you match his smile in the process, possibly brighter and gave him your name.

The area's grass is softer and less harsh. He's inside the circular sheepskin rug in a jaded green colour with huge light pink faux fur cushions that matches his outfit. Most of the eggs are placed on top of them, giving the ultimate Easter Egg Hunt display.

You walk towards where the dreamy volunteer is standing to look at the eggs, fascinated at how expensive they look compared to the other Easter eggs you've seen before.

Shit, what if this is the most difficult level? You're surprised that the university even allocated a big budget for this event. The promise of extra funding in exchange of participation made sense now.

“my name is Sunghoon”

He finally talks, in a soft and sweet voice. It made you pause flinging your Easter basket around. He bows slightly when you return your gaze at him.

He’s polite and pretty.

You’ve never met a man this pretty before.

And you’re smitten already.

This is bad because you shouldn't be falling for a man this quick. You need to focus on the eggs. Yes, right, the Easter eggs. The nearest to him seem to be the special ones.

“what’s the challenge to get one of those?” you ask, willing your focus on those shiny pastel eggs instead of his presence.

“just try to remove them from where they're placed" he mutters softly that you almost didn't hear him. Humming in response, you begin your mission to bring at least one inside your basket.

The thing is, you may have underestimated these eggs.

They ended up being heavy and glossy, which makes it harder to hold and carry without slipping off your hands. Another option is to roll them to your basket but it looks fragile and you don't want to risk breaking it.

You'd have to drop it slowly inside.

From your peripheral view, you notice Sunghoon watching you intently. Suddenly you're conscious since he's watching you struggle.

You can't let a pretty man witness your failure. It's embarrassing for a first impression but he doesn't say anything. You wanted to turn to him and watch his reaction but he's already distracting you this way. Besides these are merely Easter eggs. You may haven't participated in any hunts when you were kid but it couldn't be this hard.

"do you need help?" he offers and you almost lost hold of the egg you're holding on a lower level. You're literally squatting so the distance between the ground and the height of level is much closer. He must've been frustrated at watching you repeatedly try and fail again after a while.

"no! I'm still good to go!" you chirp, breathing heavily as you try to lift the vista blue egg. You decide to drop the previous one, your arms are now aching so you took a breather before trying again. This might be easier since located on the top of the ashy green hill-like stump. 

You're hoping gravity would cooperate, come on Newton.

Dropping your basket at the foot of the stump, you prepare to lift the egg off the ground. The weight was manageable but you've exerted yourself with the other eggs before. Add that you're wearing a lovely mini dress, the slope doesn't work well with your platform sandals.

Throwing you off balance.

You should've worn comfortable pants.

Instead of falling back, a pair of hands catches your body in time before reaching the ground.

"be careful," Sunghoon mutters softly beside you, abruptly cutting your yelp midway. His lithe fingers holding your waist gently offers a sense of immediate comfort. You're too flustered to respond, realizing that you embarrassed yourself once again.

At least you're in his arms.

What.

“t-thank you” you reply with a sharp intake, still processing what just happened and the feel of his touch. He hasn’t removed his hands from your waist yet but somehow, you like the feel of them on you.

Plus, he smells good. Like roses. The pink ones. Not intense like the red.

You find yourself leaning back against his chest as you close your eyes. The sudden comfort enveloping you with the way he’s holding you.

“you’re very welcome, beautiful” your eyes open at his reply, the way he called you beautiful. You were surprised at his effect on you and that he made the first move. Your ogling earlier might've been obvious but you didn't think he'd be this straightforward.

Maybe he wasn’t so shy after all.

“i can try again” you blurted out, leaving his hold because you feel awkward all of a sudden. You hear him clearing his throat, prompting you to turn to him.

You find Sunghoon back to his stoic facade but he's looking everywhere but you. You must've made him uncomfortable but he wouldn't call you beautiful if he was right? Or he was just being polite and calling you that to fluster you to get off of him.

Sunghoon picks up your Easter basket, handing it to you while you compose yourself. It’s not a big deal. It shouldn’t be but you’re stressing about it now. You're not impressing anyone here since Sunghoon's just doing his job as a volunteer.

And you're making it difficult for him even when you didn’t plan on hunting eggs in the first place.

“maybe try the ones by the base” he suggested, pointing at the peach and pastel red eggs.

Good. He's leering you back on track.

“you can sit down hoon, you can’t stand the whole time. this might take a while”

You honestly felt bad that Sunghoon has to stand because how perilous you are. However, the nickname slips out of you and it's too late to stop it. “wait, hoon?” he turns to you as he sits down at the hill’s base, looking at you expectantly.

“can i call you that? or is it too soon?” you ask with hesitation. He looks like he doesn't mind it but you've probably pushed yourself to him this early. It's just that you like giving nicknames in general; then he saved you from further embarrassment so you feel a little affectionate.

“you can call me anything,” he smiles a little, looking at you fondly for someone that he just met. You've been starting to question his shyness when he hit on you earlier but he's probably more comfortable with you now.

You smile at him before returning your attention to the eggs that he pointed earlier. I'm getting you both no matter what. Sunghoon seems to notice, following your gaze at your target. He gives a small chuckle which whirled your focus a little but you've conquered the temptation to look at him.

Placing your basket beside Sunghoon, you locked your eyes on the egg behind him. Reaching out with both hands, your fingers carefully test your grip on the egg. The thing is, you can feel Sunghoon's eyes boring through you from your peripheral view and you’re getting self-conscious again.

He's back to watching your every move and you've been doing your best to only get distracted but also succeed with one egg.

Crawling up the slope causes your thighs to be exposed further. There's no wind today so Sunghoon's saved from being flashed without his consent. Still, despite being used to wearing dresses, your proximity with Sunghoon is making you nervous. There's nothing to worry about since he's been a gentleman so far, proven with how gently he's held you and how he's only looking at your face, unlike most guys.

You've taken a pause, wondering if getting the egg is still worth it. So far, all you've done is try to retrieve any egg but you're close to giving up. Giving a push to the egg so it'll roll down the base, your Easter basket's been waiting to receive it but you might not have a basket in the end as a result. You can't even ask Sunghoon for help cause it'll be cheating.

Either you gave up now or embarrass yourself and waste both you and Sunghoon's time.

"i forfeit" you grumble, still trying to push the damn egg with no luck.

"you're almost succeeding," Sunghoon cheers on but it only made you upset. He moves at a respectable distance to convince you to continue. You gotta give it to him, he's still got the enthusiasm while yours drained out.

"no point, hoon. I've tried my best" you resign, switching to sit on your heels.

"that's alright. you'd still get something right?" he's looking at the bright side while something clicked in you.

He's right, you did, meeting a gorgeous gentleman like him. And you will, that is, get him.

Sunghoon must've felt the change of your demeanour. He tenses when he sees you smile mischievously at him. He tried to look unaffected but you're honestly confused at your sudden desire to be near him. The surprise is clear from his adorable pretty face when you reach out for his arm, wondering why you're pulling him closer to you instead.

"do you need anything?" he asks as soon as your attention solely on him.

"maybe" you whisper, staring at him like he's your target instead of those Easter eggs. You truly don't know what's gotten over you. It's like this man suddenly bewitched you to come after him. You were already enamoured of his beauty earlier, the comfort you felt with the way he treated you shifted your focus on having him instead of those eggs.

He inhales sharply at your vague answer, his head tilting to the side as he studies you with those wenged-coloured eyes. The gesture made you feel conscious with the way his eyes are scanning your body. It's the first time that he did and you're feeling hot all over, not knowing what to do next when his gaze descends further.

It's funny how the tides changed quickly, it's you who's now fiddling the hem of your mini dress because you're anxious of his next move.

"come here," he says softly as he straightens one of his long legs, leaving you confused.

Sunghoon then pats his thigh and you understood, crawling towards him. The thin grass pricks at the skin of your knees but you couldn't look away from Sunghoon searing stare. You again surprised yourself with how fast you obeyed his words.

All thoughts of the hunt and the Easter eggs flew away as soon as you reach Sunghoon. He cages your body in his arms, holding your waist like how he did earlier when he caught you. You're situated on his lap, waiting for you to say something but your brows only scrunches.

A teasing smile appears on his handsome face.

"do you know what you want now?" he asks again but instead of replying with words, you lean in, stopping only when your face is at a small distance from his. You don't know where this bravery of yours came from but it's now or never.

"yes", you answer before giving him a peck on the lips.

You wish it was too quick. Sunghoon's lips caught your eye earlier because of how pink and glossy they are. Now you know how soft they feel against yours too.

And you wanted more.

Sunghoon goes rigid the moment your lips touched. His hands jerked from holding your waist and now you're afraid if you got the wrong idea. After he gave you a sign earlier, you wanted to initiate this time. Or maybe it wasn't. Calling you "beautiful" is just how he breaks the ice with girls and you're no exception. It could be a part of his job, as a distraction and he definitely succeeded.

"I'm so-"

The apology was cut off when you feel Sunghoon's lips again. He didn't pull back immediately like you expected, the slight stickiness of his glossy lips attaches to yours as he moves his lips. But before you can open your mouth to deepen the kiss, he retreats. "may i?"

You're bewildered at his question since he already kissed you. Regardless, you nodded, only then realizing he's pertaining to touching you. His soft hand slides down from your waist, not stopping until he reaches the end of your dress. He pushes it up so he can slide in his palms along your bare thigh.

Sunghoon finally pulls your body closer to his, drawing a surprise gasp from you. Your hands that were on his shoulders automatically moves to hold the back of his head, your fingers tousling his fluffy permed hair that extends down to his neck.

You both stayed like that for a bit, just holding each other contently while staring into each other's eyes.

"i don't think I've told you how pretty you are, Sunghoon," you mutter, one of your hands moving to trace his features with the tip of your fingers. His skin feels so soft between your touches that you just want to hold his face forever.

From the thick eyebrows down the sharp slope of his nose, you couldn't believe someone with such beauty exists.

"you're more beautiful," he replies softly before he kisses you again.

This time, Sunghoon allows himself to drown in you, opening his mouth to deepen the kiss. The sudden hunger he's finally letting out has taken you back that you couldn't help but smile in between kisses.

You're both interrupted by the loud rings of bells, breaking your make out session. Your attention shifts to the series of faint voices clearly from a megaphone, clearly announcing the end of the hunt. You've gotten nothing done except being on Sunghoon's lap.

However, the man beneath you ignores when he just heard. He proceeds to kiss your jaw then his lips move down to your neck, breathing in your scent deeply.  

"you smell so good" he groans against your skin, clutching your waist at the same time. It's the first time you've heard him this way and it's making your whole body shiver.

Sunghoon's been holding back and you love testing boys.

"hoon, don't we need to head back? they might look for us soon" you nudge his shoulders, trying to bring your focus to the concern at hand. The other volunteers could be rounding up all the participants and will find out that you're missing from the list.

Although they knew that you weren't going to take this seriously, they still have to take an attendance.

Sunghoon’s touches are luring you back though. He cups your face with one hand and caresses your waist with the other; his way of reassuring you.

"we can stay, don't worry, i won't tell anyone" he whispers against your lips before capturing your them again.

Sunghoon's tempting offer begins to tug at you. His words did the magic, calming your worry and pushes you to focus on his kisses instead. Besides, maybe you can just retrieve the compensation for participating later. You'd have Sunghoon as a back up to prove that you did try your best.

“are you sure?” you ask again and he nods. “if i don’t get that extra funding, you’re to blame” you giggle, punching his chest playfully.

Sunghoon only smiles at your whims, knowing you've already succumbed to him. You resume kissing him, the both of you growing more hungry for each other as time passes by. His soft kneading of your thigh turned into a hard grip. Probably because you've unconsciously been rolling your hips against his crotch.

"do you need a break?" he breathes out as he releases you, licking his swollen lips in the process. Your gaze automatically landed on them, so shiny like it's calling you to take a bite. You'd love to but Sunghoon's lips have tasted so sweet, stopping your urge to draw blood from them.

He calls your name softly, urging you to take a breather. You didn't really need to, the need to kiss him rising the more stops to tease you. He has to be teasing you or he'd be all over you right away. Nevertheless, you lean back to take a good look at Sunghoon's current state. His hair's more disheveled with all your pulling but it's his dilated pupils that's boring through you that has your heart racing.

And the obvious hardness that's poking between your inner thighs.

"oh? are you sure you want me to, hoonie?" you tease, smirking at him. The new nickname perks his attention, breaking his desiring gaze. Only then he realized what you meant, his cheeks flushing as he looks down when you keep staring.

"it'll go away, don't worry" he mumbles shyly, still not meeting your inspecting gaze. 

Even when he's painfully hard, he's still adorable. So you take it upon yourself to let him know that you want him too. Feeling how hard he is further ignited your hormones. You're sure he can feel how wet you already are.

Guess he's the type to let to let others take charge.

Your hand reaches out to lift Sunghoon's knitted top along with his polo shirt, revealing a lean stomach to your hungry eyes. Skin unbelievably pale, you're tempted to scratch your nails along his visible abs but that's for another time. If there will be after this; you'd just have to convince him with your charms.

Sunghoon's breath hitches when you trace the lean muscles of his stomach. You can see them tightening the more your fingers skitters around the edge of his pants. You're tempted to tease him like he did earlier, of if he did actually, he was genuine but you never know.

The bulge in front of you further incites you to circle the buttons of Sunghoon's pants teasingly. He's anticipating what's to come, blown out eyes simultaneously drifting between your exposed thighs and your hand.

"may i?" you ask softly as you look up to his handsome face. Hearing the question he asked you earlier cracks a shy smile on his lips. He nodded after as answer and you swear you a soft glint in his eyes, a sign that he's touched.

Slowly, you begin unbuttoning Sunghoon's pants and he lifts his hips so you can pull it off halfway. Much to your surprise, he's wearing a white silk underwear that looks expensive. He's different indeed because you haven't met any guy that wore one before.

"they're breathable" he mumbles an explanation as he looks away, a hint of embarrassment in his tone which made you smile. He looks adorable pouting but you hope he's not getting the wrong message with your reaction. You're simply amazed, admiring how pretty he is down to details.

"fancy, I'd say. it fits you perfectly" you say fondly as you pull it down, freeing his rock hard cock from its confines. You catch it with your hand as it springs up, the twitching almost made you want to suck him off to reassure him but your impatience takes over.

Stroking it slowly, Sunghoon's breathing starts to heavy, bringing back his attention to your hand. You're like in a trance, eyes remaining on his cock, so focused on spreading the precum around his head. He starts moaning and your eyes perked up, catching his pleading eyes in time before he closes them. He'll never tell you to stop so you release him.

A small chuckle leaves you when his eyes opened the moment you did. You didn't let him have a moment, moving to straddle his lap. You can feel his bare cock rubbing against your clothed pussy and you'd want nothing but want him inside you. Your mini dress hiking up once again, much to Sunghoon's delight. He reaches under to pull your frilly undies down, cupping your cunt once.

"you're soaked" he comments, astonished how wet you already are before plunging two of his long fingers inside your caverns. You're unsure if Sunghoon's aware that you're ovulating. He would've felt how wet you are since earlier, dripping so much that you worry your juices will reach his cuff the more he moves his fingers.

"h-hoon, please?"

He nods, removing his fingers from you right away so you could guide his length to your core. Before doing so, you quickly move back to pull it off from one leg, leaving it on the other because you're too impatient.

You rarely beg but you couldn't care how desperate you sounded when Sunghoon's the same case. His rushed hands and the way his breath quickens when you touch him. Sunghoon's too irresistible for you to wait around, the need to have him carnally encourages you to drop your hips, sinking into his cock without second thoughts.

Whimpers escape you since Sunghoon's quite generous in both thickness and length. You wanted to watch yourself while taking him in but the slight sting had you closing your eyes. Sunghoon helps you by pulling your body in, leading to your hands that are holding his shoulders moves to pull his hair.

Your foreheads to touch one another and you felt a sense of steadiness.

"couldn't wait any longer" he breathes out, his fingers circling the sides of your waist to comfort you. He lets you adjust to his size, leaving feather light kisses along your neck until you feel comfortable enough to roll your hips.

When you reopen your eyes, you meet Sunghoon's blown out ones. It's the only way you can tell he's affected by all these aside from his heavy breathing and disheveled hair caused by you. Meanwhile, you're already a mess when you both barely started, hair's sticking on your skin with all the licking that Sunghoon has done.

Rolling your hips experimentally, you grab Sunghoon’s shoulders for stability. He's followed your suit with how quick you are on gripping him, his gentle caress of your back turned into desperate digging.

None of you talked save for the exchanged panting and moaning in between kisses. He's pretty quieter than other boys but that doesn't affect how good he is at fucking you.

Sunghoon’s mouth returns to your neck but this time, his face continues down to your chest. You’re expecting him to pull down your neckline but instead, he only nuzzles your clothed tits affectionately as he starts bucking his hips up into you.

His fluffy hair tickling your clavicle almost made you giggle but Sunghoon cuts it off when he suddenly delivers a sharp thrust.

“fuck, oh my–“ the loud moan escapes you when he unexpectedly finds the bundle of nerves. Noticing how loud you’ve gotten, Sunghoon thrusts up again, hitting that same spot, strangely not bothered that anyone could hear you easily. You’ve wrapped your hands around his head at this point, squeezing his face further against your clothed breasts.

Despite how tight your bodies are pressed tightly against one another, Sunghoon manages to slip his hand underneath your dress. He rubs your swollen bud as you grind more on his cock to get that satisfaction again. Your lower abdomen has been tightening and you scream Sunghoon's name as you unravel before him.

He gives you time to recover before he cages your body securely, moving you both down the mound of grass. He lays you down carefully, your back hitting the ground as he removes himself from you. You whine in displeasure, making grabby hands at him but he only chuckles.

Sunghoon's hand reaches for your undies to pull it off your leg completely, placing it on one of the cushions. You on the other hand, don't even care where it'll be, spreading your legs after to entice him to put his cock back into you. However, instead of indulging you, he flips you to your stomach. Not for long cause he hauls you up to your knees, surprising you with his strength.

Then he enters you again, ripping a yelp from you at the rough intrusion while you're trying to hold on to the soft grass beneath you.

Shit, this is why he asked you to take a breather.

"you feel amazing around me" he moans after delivering another precise thrust, increasing the speed of his hips that you have no choice but only whimper and spew incoherent curses. As far as you know, the quiet and shy ones are revealed to be freaks on the sheets, proven with Sunghoon's great ability at rearranging your insides.

"ngh–hoonie.." you cry, sensing another wave of orgasm rising from you.

"what if i make you mine? would you let me, pretty?" he asks in a steady voice, still so polite even when he’s fucking you into oblivion.

You take back what you said about Sunghoon usually letting others to take charge. You've clearly misread him. It crosses your mind that maybe everything was on purpose — that this has been his style all along.

Other than manhandling you, there's an edge to his voice beneath the politeness, something you should've noticed but you're too blinded by how dreamy he is this whole time. Aside from his cock's nonstop battering along your walls, your ears don't miss the loud smacks from your skin slapping that are echoing around the trees.

The thought of other participants or volunteers finding you both fucking here makes you tighten around Sunghoon. He groans at that and you did it again so you can hear more of him. You couldn't help it anyway when he fucks this good, anyone would. Then his questions finally sink in to your pleasure-muddled brain briefly.

You didn't like the thought of others fucking him.

"a-already yours," you moan out, mind too muddled to register the implication of your words to him.

Your sudden declaration breaks Sunghoon's composure. He lets out a loud and deep groan, body almost collapsing on top of yours. Although you can’t see him, you can tell he’s pleased with your answer. His fingers stroke your sides as he gets louder, a mix of humming and moaning emitting from him.

You're out of breath from his relentless thrusts but that didn't stop you from trying to meet his hips. Once he senses what you're doing, he moves a hand up to briefly squeeze your breasts, while his other one holds your hip for balance.

“I'm near, love” he rasps behind you, his hips pounding you intensely that you're almost being shoved down to the ground if it were not for your strong grip on the grass. A couple snaps of his hips later and his body pauses, filling you up with his warm cum. 

“so full of me..” he muses mindlessly, his tightened grip on your hips loosening as he rides his high. Sunghoon's rutting into you ever since, his pace slowing down but his strokes are deeper. He removes a hand from holding you, sneaking in front to rub your swollen bud, triggering another orgasm from you.

“y-yeah, hoonie..feels good!" you babble, too fucked out and messy to form any more words other than your nickname for him all while gripping the grass below you.

“You want more?,” Sunghoon coos and you nod desperately. You feel more of his cum spilling into your swollen cunt as he continues to fill you up until he has nothing more to give.

When your elbows finally give up, he begins to remove his cock from you, careful not to spill anything even though it's useless. You protest in return even when your body collapses after, whining because you want his cock back snuggled in you.

Your combined juices drip down your legs and you're too weak to clean yourself up. Sunghoon rushes to help you when you try getting up on your own, assisting you to stand up so you can rest on the nearest cushion. He's holding you gently, a real contrast to how rough he's held your hips earlier while he was fucking you.

Sunghoon helps you lie down and you immediately reach out for him to join you. He chuckles at your request, acquiescing without a word. He stretches out his left arm before he lies beside you, inviting you to put your head on it.

Only then you realized that he never removed any of his layered tops this whole time.

"you don't feel hot?" your voice came out hoarse from all the moaning, catching Sunghoon's attention. Although his permed bangs covered his thick brows, the rise of his brow is visible as he scans your sleepy face. "no, not at all," he quips, the curve of his glossy lips lifting into a small smile. 

Despite wearing a dress, your whole body's on fire with the intense fucking. You're just grateful that the weather chose to be perfect today, you didn't sweat as much as you expected. The man beside you however, didn't look any different than the first time you met him. Now that you've both calmed down, Sunghoon's looking at you like you've known each other for a while.

He's not the type to get attached easily does he?

It wouldn't matter since you're on the same boat. It could be your hormones talking but you feel like you can trust Sunghoon.

Never in your life you thought you'd have sex with a stranger out in the open and on campus grounds too. Not only that but you also let him finish inside you even when you just met which never happened before no matter how hot those guys were. Strangely though, you didn't worry as much as you'd expected.

Maybe it's all the exhaustion and you'll have a clarity later on.

You woke up lying on a soft cushion of baby pink fur, nuzzling your face to it as you rouse from a deep sleep. The sky has turned darker, with a hint of purple due to the rays of the setting sun. The clouds have turned pink, painting a beautiful landscape above you and Sunghoon.

It's a perfect way to wake up, feeling like you're in a dream or a main character in some movie. In addition, you feel Sunghoon’s arm wrapped around your waist. You haven't moved yet to indicate you're awake, relishing his gentle touches thinking you're still asleep. His body's not flushed against yours but his caress on your stomach sends a rush of butterflies through you.

You suddenly turn around to face Sunghoon and he jerks in surprise. The serenity in his face was replaced with worry that he woke you up from your slumber.

“am i making you uncomfortable?” he panics but you chuckle instead, finding his question adorable. You shake your head no, cupping his glowing face with your hands to not worry him.

He literally just fucked you hours ago and he's more concerned of how you perceived him after when you're currently very comfortable in his arms.

"I'm just not used to clingy guys…especially pretty ones" you say slowly, waiting for any reaction from Sunghoon. Usually, guys take offense at the word "clingy" but instead, he reacted the opposite. His cheeks turned pink at the word "pretty" and you poking his two moles made him flush more.

Sunghoon immediately hides his face in the crook of your neck, unable to face you after you pointed out his blushing by rubbing his cheeks.

Oh, he's too precious for you to let go.

“listen, i know we just met but do you wanna go with me to the spring formal?” you rapidly ask before you chicken out, nervously waiting for Sunghoon with your uncertain but pleading eyes.

It's not mandatory but there will be an award ceremony happening for the best clubs on campus which you don't want to miss. You can technically go alone, like most people who simply went with their friends. But this year, you want to go with someone for once. With how busy everyone is, you had no time to ask people to come with you so Sunghoon's your last hope.

He was quiet for a while but he looks surprised. Your mind's starting to overthink but you see the smile slowly forming on his pretty lips. "I would be honoured" he whispers, eyes lightening at your offer. His smile fully brightened when you grin in relief that you're able to see his beautiful canines.

Sunghoon leans in for a kiss which you welcomed, feeling his hand move down lower from your belly. He kneads your thighs before he sneaks under your dress to cup your soiled pussy. A soft gasp escapes you at the contact, breaking the kiss as your body squirms with his ministrations. Your back arches a little when you feel the tips of his delicate fingers trace your sodden folds, checking to see if you need more of him.

Sunghoon's radiant eyes are so focused on the faces you're making. He's looking at you like you gave him a pot of gold when you should be the one feeling that way since he agreed to be your date. The only thing left to worry about is the dress you'll wear to the event. You've got a date now who's currently making you feel amazing that you're tempted to fuck him again.

Can't let that happen. Good thing nature's on your side too.

“do you wanna head out? it’s getting darker” you tug his sleeve, getting up from the cushion. You feel better now but you still struggle as you feel each muscle contracts, the impending sore waiting for you has arrived. Sunghoon didn't notice and you didn't want him to; following your suit as you fix yourselves. He hands you back your panties and you find it in you to still feel embarrassed.

“don’t forget your basket,” he reminds you softly, looking at the ground behind your shoulders. You turn to find your cute basket filled with about a dozen of smaller shiny pastel Easter eggs.

Did he just search the forest to fill it up while you were asleep?

The gesture touched your heart since you'd be able to surely claim your compensation later. You look Sunghoon gratefully who's waiting for you at a distance until you're ready to go. However, just as you were about to leave after picking up your filled basket, you notice all the props around you.

“shouldn’t we clean up here? we probably missed the end already” you suggest to Sunghoon, looking around at how much work you both need to do before it gets fully dark. The nap you took felt like a waste of time but Sunghoon's good pounding made the Easter egg hunt fully slipped your mind.

None of you expected to stay here this long so you only have your phone as a source of light. There will be lampposts when you return to the path but it's going to be very dark here soon. You suspect Sunghoon didn’t have bring flashlight while decorating this area since the event's bound to end before late afternoon.

“no need, we can just leave it as it is. at least that’s what I've been told” he shrugs, taking your unoccupied hand with his. As an over thinker, you're not fully convinced with Sunghoon's reason. For all you know, you both would get fined or get a penalty for not following proper protocol.

Not just following the rules but also for public indecency when you both had sex during the duration of the event.

Despite your doubt, you let it go, grasping Sunghoon's hand between your fingers. Together you walk back towards the line of trees, hands intertwining until you reach the main clearing where the main table was. No one’s left so you’re probably just gonna drop by the student centre to let them know or just email them a picture of your Easter basket that Sunghoon meticulously arranged.

There's a rush of excitement in you at the notion that one of their volunteers basically let you cheat off of the event. No one caught you and Sunghoon so they'd have nothing to prove until then. Besides, it takes them ages to actually send any prize anyways so funding would not be any different and possibly will have a longer process before approval.

“do you wanna grab a bite? we can discuss what to wear for the event then” you tug Sunghoon towards the banquet hall and he nods. You actually wanted to at least buy something there if he refused.

None of you talked as you saunter to the building where the hall is and you've actually appreciate the quietness. Being with Sunghoon who's not a talkative type of a person would've been relaxing if not for all the staring that you both get as you walk along the hallways.

“you’re quiet. are you tired? we can just head back” he asks worriedly after noticing you tightening your hold in his hand.

“nothing, it’s just..it’s stupid. ugh this is probably so normal for you” you ramble, avoiding his gauging gaze.

“it’s not if it’s bothering you” he insists and his words warm your chest.

“they can’t stop looking at you” you admit shyly, looking at Sunghoon briefly and a small grin replaces the worry in his face.

Great, you’re probably feeding his ego even more by admitting it.

“not just me” he replies, continuing his steps like he doesn’t notice the eyes that are boring at you both. What reason could they have to be staring at you? Sunghoon might be used to staring, but not you.

You've been feeling conscious as soon as it happened and it remained even as you order your supposed dinner. You told Sunghoon to find a table but he insists on staying with you. After you both got your trays your food, you beeline towards the rows of tables and fortunately found one near the windows, your preferred position here to see the view outside.

It's mostly lights but the stars are visible on the sky tonight.

“do you have an idea for the colours? if not, we can just go by the typical spring ones” you start so you’ll divert your attention to the important matter at hand instead of the lingering gazes around you.

None of the people here would think that you and Sunghoon just met in less than a few hours ago with the way you're both acting with one another. He holds your hand after unloading the food from the trays, flustering you to no end. You look like a couple to anyone's eyes with how affectionate he is. The comfort he gives you definitely helped ease the awkwardness you mostly have with strangers.

You could get used to this.

“I'll match whatever you pick”

In the end, you decide to go for a mix of pastel pink and some green while Sunghoon will match your dress with a black suit and a pastel green tie.

A true gentleman that he is, Sunghoon walked you to your dorms after. It’s already late at night when you both finished dinner — discussing the Easter egg hunt down to the origins of the holiday. You've told him what you learned growing up from a religious family and he in turn, told you the other versions of it.

The path towards the house that you share with four other girls is surrounded by trees. It’s relatively safe though since it's your university's student housing. Still, Sunghoon insisted on walking you for extra safety.

Right when you're nearing the door of your dorm, Sunghoon brings your hand that he’s holding up to kiss your knuckles. You're again taken aback, your heart racing since you weren't expecting this because you've hooked up already.

He really is different than other guys.

“you’re endearing,” you say before switching the Easter basket you're holding to your other hand. Staring into Sunghoon's eyes, you grab his neck to kiss him.

Sunghoon was surprised at first but immediately returned your kisses, placing his hand on your back to pull you closer. At this point, you feel like kissing one another is going to become a habit the way how natural it is for you both. You break the kiss to catch your breaths but also because you almost lost your balance (again) while kissing him.

"careful" he holds you steady, eyeing the Easter eggs inside the basket in your hand. You chuckle at his mild concern, finding him even more endearing with how attentive he is to them. Of course, you'd take care of it like a gift. Sunghoon made an effort to gather those for you even when he didn't have to, risking his volunteer position just to help you.

"thank you.." you drawl after letting out a small chuckle when his gaze returns to you. Eyes still lost in his, you're debating if you should say more but Sunghoon smiles, seeming to understand what you meant.

“I'll see you until then” he smiles fondly as he releases you. You can tell by his hesitant eyes that he doesn't wanna let go. You begin to miss his touches already as soon as he did, turning around with grace as he leaves the porch.

“wait, we didn’t exchange numbers!” you call for him and realization hits Sunghoon as soon as he heard you. He starts patting his pockets and his face morphs into panic when he can't feel his phone. He looks up at you with a defeated expression but you shake your head with a reassuring smile.

“oh, i must’ve left it somewhere. we were rushing earlier” he concludes calmly, trying to look composed but the embarrassment is apparent on his face even in the dark — his light complexion shows clearly how he abandoned his belongings because he was too focused on you.

"it's okay hoon, meet me here maybe about an hour and a half before it starts" you say excitedly, already thinking of the event which is going to be in three days.

It'll take you longer to get ready and you don't want to be late. The venue's outside your campus and although not far, you would like to be early to enjoy the candy bars and photo booth before everyone arrives.

And of course, more time with Sunghoon without much prying eyes. For sure, you'd have a deja vu and might bother you for the rest of the night.

"alright then, have a good night __" he shows that soft smile again and you respond with a quick "night, hoon".

Sunghoon turns, heading towards the main road while you wait until he's out of sight. Your mind's still processing the unexpected events of the day and the Easter season definitely surprised you. You couldn't believe you're out here sending off a man who you just met and hooked up like some girlfriend.

“girl who the fuck was that hottie?”

A loud voice belonging to one of your housemate, Aeri, booms behind you, breaking your thoughts.

You whirled around, clearly surprised and wondering if she's been behind the door the whole time.

“and why was he kissing you?” another voice, belonging to Karina follows as you and Aeri entered back into the house.

Yup, Aeri did sneak. Both her and Karina did through the window curtains.

“You got a man and never told us?!” Minjeong chimes in from the kitchen as soon as you all enter settle at the living room.

“not my man, just my date for the spring formal" you respond sheepishly, still overwhelmed at Sunghoon's parting gift and their rapid questions.

"I've never seen him before. where did you even meet him?" Yizhuo, who's coming down from upstairs, adds and the rest zero in on you for an answer.

"at the hunt" you quip, feeling defensive at this surprised interrogation. You know their questions are harmless, purely out of concern but you honestly haven't felt this way for so long.

For someone on that matter.

"damn, why have i not ever joined?" Aeri asks dramatically, shaking your shoulder which made you laugh. "I'm missing this whole time? next year it is" she says with determination before any of you could answer her.

"just today? or did you know him before?"

The laughter between you and Aeri ceases once Karina followed another question. She's looking at you suspiciously and Aeri looks unsure on what to do next. Yizhuo's still torn whether to but in or not.

Out of all, Karina's the only one who can actually confront you but you're too happy to deal with their prodding questions right now.

"we shared a class last year" you lie through your teeth. They didn't seem convinced with your clipped answer, eventually letting it go once Minjeong called them for dinner.

You followed to greet Minjeong and excused yourself to your bedroom, telling them that you had dinner with Sunghoon already before coming home. As you leave, you didn't miss the way Karina's eyes lingering you on your figure or Yizhuo's subtle indifference at your little story.

Only Aeri seems to be unbothered, her focus solely on the food Minjeong prepared.

.

Before going to bed, you checked your socials to try finding Sunghoon. Since you didn't get to have his number, its the only way you'd be able to communicate for the spring formal. It's not that you didn't trust that he's not going to show up; you just like being ready in case of emergencies. It's the most basic form of communication especially that you're bringing a date — meaning you'd have more things to prepare for.

You contemplated asking your housemates, maybe just Aeri or Minjeong but you don't want to hear any type of scolding if ever. None of them outright showed it compared to the other two but you can feel the slight judgment when you told them about Sunghoon.

You're aware that it might be too soon to invite him as a date when you just met. But on the other hand, some people literally hook up once and maintained some sort of connection whether that'd be friendship or something more. You and Sunghoon are still strangers to one another, yes, but that’s the reason why you invited him to the spring formal.

To get to know him better. And for your friends to meet him.

You never cared before, not really. Never cared what your friends would think about them. Barely any guy gets your interest enough for you to meet them again after the first time. Whether it's a simple chat or sharing a night together, no one was able to maintain your hold on them.

Sunghoon however, was different. Yes, you were instantly attracted the moment you saw but you're more intrigued with how peculiar his ways are compared to other boys. Sure you've met boys on the quieter side, there are ones that almost are like him too with how they treat you. However, it's Sunghoon's tenderness that sets him apart from the rest.

It’s definitely a part of his charms that he may be using on you this whole time.

And you’re falling too easily on them.

You don't mind though. This chance is too rare for you to pass. For once you're finally considering dating if things go well with Sunghoon during the event.

After a while, you gave up searching for his socials. You've forgotten to ask for his last name at least. It would've been easier to look for his accounts. You've looked through people's mutual friends as well, trying out every combination with his first name but to no avail.

It doesn’t matter. You have a date to prepare for and you’ve got three days until then. Sunghoon will show up. He never showed you any indication that he wouldn't. He was even hesitant when he left.

You're going to hold on to that until then.

Looking for a dress went better than you expected. Haunting dresses in boutiques on your own felt a little adventurous. You only have this option really because you wouldn’t get it on time if you purchase online. Thankfully, you found one that matches the theme and is up to your taste. It’s a floor length halter dress with a pleated corset in baby pink colour, with flowers and light green leaves as a pattern.

You hope Sunghoon would like it. Make no mistake, you picked this for yourself but unlike past events, you have a date this time that you wanted to impress. You'd have to make an effort to keep up with Sunghoon's beauty although it wouldn't be a big deal to him. He crossed your mind several times while searching for dresses, wishing he was with you during the process.

You can't wait to see him again.

The remaining days until the event consisted of you going home and your dorms back-and-forth. Your housemates are staying around even if their exams are over to wait for the spring formal. The awkward tension that surrounded you all vanished the next day. Part of it was that you haven't mentioned Sunghoon ever since and they've been cautious too.

You've done shopping and getting pampered with them which was always fun, something you'll miss once summer starts. None of them every stay, going on summer vacations every year which leaves you the caretaker of the house from time to time since you stay in the country during those months.

Your parents found out of the Spring event at the last minute and your Mom panicked. You reassured her by catching her up everything, completely skipping the part that you almost didn’t get any tickets for you and Sunghoon. Thankfully, you knew someone that could help. Jungwon, one of your former mentee, is currently part of the campus council and was able to score you late bird tickets with a discount.

The day of the spring formal finally arrives and you’re more nervous than you anticipated. You've stayed with your housemates the night before just to prepare, waking up the earliest among them which surprises the girls since you’re usually the latest.

“calm down girl, you look great!”

Aeri cheers you on as she finishes her makeup touch ups by the hallway mirror. You smiled at her gratefully, the other girls parroting the same thing.

It's not about how you look that you were worried about. You do think you look great today. A stupid reason but negative thoughts have been popping up your mind as soon as you wake up. Prepping distracted you but they've returned as soon as you're done. Since you had no way of contacting Sunghoon, a little part of your brain thinks that he might be late or worse, not show up.

“You have nothing to worry about. I used to overthink a lot before but Jaewook came through”

Despite Karina's indifference of Sunghoon as your date, she kept reassuring you, noticing how anxious you've been since this morning.

“Yeah, Heeseung and Jay will most likely be the latest to pick us up” Minjeong chimes in as she ties the strap of her heels around her ankles. “Might not be! Jay’s actually punctual when needed,” Yizhuo smiles cheerfully as she defends her date. She's sitting beside Minjeong who's scrolling on her phone, typing furiously to her date, you're guessing.

“thank you girlies” you looked at each of them with another wave of appreciation.

They’re right. You should only focus on positive things today to avoid any misfortune on your way. Small talks resumed between you and your housemates, about the dresses and everyone's predictions of which clubs will earn awards for tonight's spring formal event.

Then a doorbell ring disrupts your conversation.

"oooo i think it's him!" Minjeong throws her phone on the couch and excitedly parts the curtains to see who it was on the porch.

She's right. Opening the door revealed Sunghoon, the first to arrive out of all your dates. He's dressed in a black tuxedo with matching pink polo shirt underneath and peering from his breast pocket is a light green pocket square handkerchief.

He looks nervous but it all vanishes as soon as he sees you.

“you look breathtaking” he says first, eyes locked on your first then they down to the dress you're wearing.

"so do you.."

You're awestruck at how gorgeous Sunghoon is today. His natural beauty had you smitten when you first saw him but he's extra hot with the straightened, slicked back hair. Gone were the perms that made him look adorable and your thrilled to meet this side of him.

"greetings to you ladies" he says softly, sweeping his eyes at your housemates before bowing with such grace.

The girls of course are stunned, just like how you were when you first met Sunghoon. Yizhuo hits Aeri's arms with a giggle, who's smiling so brightly at your date while Karina gives you teasing eyes and Minjeong wiggles her eyebrows at you both.

Certainly the opposite reaction than before. Maybe it's because they've finally heard his voice and see him up close.

"we'll go ahead guys, see you at the venue!" you circle your arm around Sunghoon's as you both head outside. The girls wave their goodbyes from the couch, just lounging while waiting for their dates to pick them up. It's still early but Sunghoon actually arrived at the time that you both agreed on.

Another plus point.

Sunghoon assists you as you both walk down the cemented path of the neighbourhood. The long walk is a bit of a hassle due to your heels plus the long trail of your dress but it's manageable. When you both reach the parking lot, that's when you see a white luxury car waiting by the spot nearest to the parking gate.

The sight of the car made you pause on your steps, trying hard to hide your surprise. Judging on Sunghoon's elegant manners and the way he dresses himself, you've had a hunch that he could be rich the first time you met him. However, seeing this luxurious car and the driver in uniform inside, you didn't think he'd be this rich. That must've been why you couldn't find him on online. He probably doesn't have any social media. People from wealthy families often not want to be on the public eye for many reasons.

The driver comes out and greets you both then opening the car door. He gestures you to hop in but Sunghoon stops you.

"Hold on, I have something for you."

He unclasps your arm around his left elbow then takes your hand to put on a flower corsage on your wrist. It matches the pocket square that he has, light green petals with small pearls adorning the wire. 

"hoon, this is so pretty" you muse, turning your wrist around after he's done. You quickly retrieve your phone from your evening bag, putting your palm against Sunghoon's chest to take a picture.

"i made it," he confessed and your eyes widened. "really? what can't you do huh?" you tease and he only smiles, guiding you to enter the car and following after. Openly flirting with Sunghoon may look pointless but his shy smiles and blushed cheeks are enough for you even if he doesn't flirt back directly.

The ride was pretty quick. Sunghoon held your hand the whole time while many thoughts cross your mind. One of them with you wondering if Sunghoon owns this car or just rented it. Based on his conversations with the driver, he might be Sunghoon's personal one but you didn't ask. Not that it mattered since it's just a random thought. He's here to drop you and Sunghoon off, nothing more.

Your date got off first before opening his hand for you to take. You turn to the driver to thank him and he only responded with a curt smile as you get off the car.

Not many students have arrived at the venue yet so you're relieved to be the first ones.

Watching them however, makes your stomach churn. Something roots you to where you're standing.

"let's go inside?"

Sunghoon asks you softly but you don't look at him. You had a feeling that he wanted to ask you more but he doesn't press on it and just waits for you to tell him.

"I'm a bit nervous, hoon. i haven't gone to this in a while" you shyly admit, a bit frustrated that you let it takeover your excitement for today. Sunghoon holds your hand immediately, willing you to look at him. "I'll never leave your side", he reassures you again with his words and if it weren't for your makeup, you're sure he would've caressed your cheeks too.

True to his word, Sunghoon stayed by your side the entire time. He snakes an arm around your waist as you enter the venue and you've calmed down. His presence have always been comforting, much more when he touches you. Everyone sneaks a glance at you both, some subtle, some outright. It made you smile, feeling a bit secured that you've managed to get him as your date.

When you reach the reception table, Sunghoon excuses himself to the washroom. You've reminded him where your seating table was before he leaves and he nodded. Turning to the table, you've noticed the attendants looking at Sunghoon but shifted their eyes to you with an awkward smile.

"Sorry but he's not on the system," the girl tells you, clicking away the mouse to find Sunghoon's name after you told her.

That's odd. You've managed to ask him his last name earlier so you can tag him on your posts later.

"It's Park Sunghoon. I'm sure it's there, please check again" you hurriedly tell her after spotting Sunghoon emerging from the corner. He walks to your designated table, patiently sitting down to wait for you.

The lines are getting longer as the students flock the reception table for the attendants to check their tickets and register.

“is everything alright?” he asks worriedly, pulling the chair beside him for you to sit down. But you didn't because you're in a rush.

“did you bring your ID perchance? i didn’t but they couldn’t find your name” you ask, truly wondering how they can find yours and not his. Since he was one of the staff at the Easter egg hunt, he's probably more involved than you so there's no way he’s not in the system.

“no, didn’t think we’d have to” he answers without much thought. “should we head back there? i should’ve stayed with you then” he adds, sounding regretful.

Both you and Sunghoon did and like other students who’ve stolen glances at your date, the girl behind the table was no different.

She’s awestruck at seeing him up close, like how you were when you first saw Sunghoon in the forest. You felt a little conscious because she was only looking at him without giving you any regard so you had no choice but to put your hand on Sunghoon’s chest.

This caught the girls attention who then smiled brightly at you; courtesy or embarrassment that you caught her ogling your date. With the way she’s looking at him, you wonder if she even remembered you from earlier.

Sunghoon’s surprised at your hand on his chest, turning to you with the little corner of his lip curling upwards.

"family name is Park, kindly check again" he says while looking only at you. His soft voice accompanying his politeness was enough for the girl to just nod, her smile widening but it somehow irritates you a bit.

"you can just register him as a guest right? we wouldn't want to be an inconvenience" you say, looking back at the line of people waiting to check in with tickets in their hands.

"don't worry, he's all good! i hope you enjoy the event!" she exclaims, more joyous than ever, her eyes only lingering on Sunghoon. You've circled your arm again with his, dragging him back inside the hall.

You didn't miss Sunghoon trying to stifle his laugh but he never bothered confronting you which you truly appreciate. Whatever he found funny during the entire interaction is none of your business. The problem was settled so you should just enjoy the night and this lovely time with Sunghoon.

It might be the last time you'll see him.

Even though you both seem to be comfortable with each other, you technically only met and talked twice. You don’t know much about each other yet and you’ve been planning to change that tonight.

Instead of returning to your table, you pulled Sunghoon towards the photo booth area. You’re the type that treasures memories a lot, therefore, pictures are important. Sunghoon has not said a word since you both arrived at the booth but he follows your whims with all the poses that the photographer recommended.

“perfect! you looked good together!” the photographer cheers on and Sunghoon’s hold on your waist tightens. Your heart beats fast as well, the idea of you and Sunghoon being a couple warms your chest.

You just met for goodness sake, why are you already thinking in advance?

Sunghoon surprises you when he kisses your cheek, the same time as the countdown ended for another picture.

“thank you, very much for this” Sunghoon says in a very sincere way as he stares at the pictures on the screen. You’re busy picking which poses to fit in the frame but you noticed that the photographer sounded touched. “please, it’s just part of my job but thank you”

Usually, it takes so long for you to pick which poses to include but Sunghoon looks great in every picture. Finalizing the photos turned quick, all credits to your date but you look like you could keep up with him too.

“here are the copies, one strip for you and your boyfriend”

Your cheeks warmed at the photographer's insinuation. You're about to object but Sunghoon hasn't said anything, only taking hos copy from the machine. You follow his suit, smiling gratefully at the photographer as you take your copy.

“thank you again”

You take Sunghoon’s hand in yours as you leave the photo booth area. He intertwines your fingers, caressing your hand with his thumb finger.

“do you want to walk around? we have couple of minutes before it starts” you beam against him, smiling so wide, the remarks of the photographer still lingering in your mind.

“you’re feet are okay, right?” he asks, looking down at your ankles. The only way he could see your heels was through the slit of your dress mid thigh, something Sunghoon appreciated with the way he’s gaze lingered at your exposed skin.

“please hoonie, I'm used to walking in them” you tease, parting your dress further so he can see more of your thigh. Sunghoon was fighting to not break his composure, struggling to stop his attempt at biting his lip as he stared at it and then you.

The other pairs of students that were assigned to the same table as you have also arrived and you all introduce yourselves with one another. Sunghoon might be a shy person but he was pretty engaged with anyone who talked to him. It probably helped that his hand was holding your bare thigh as comfort.

You can feel how cold his palm was at first, trembling a little until you put your hand over his.

"thank you, love" he leans in to whisper in your ear, kneading the meat of your thigh.

"of course hoon," you smiled at him, wanting to kiss him right then and there if it weren't for the other students at your table. You wouldn't want to make them uncomfortable with your public display of affection.

There will be plenty of those later.

You noticed someone waving at you over Sunghoon’s shoulders, Yizhuo with her date who must be Jay.

Sunghoon turns to the pair, looking at them longer than you expected. You then realized that it's the Jay you shared shared in a class last semester. He meets your eye and smiles politely, then he shifts his gaze on the man beside you.

His inquisitive eyes are squinting as the smile on his handsome face drops.

Classic Park Jongseong.

Park. His last name from what you remember last semester.

He shares the last name with Sunghoon then. It’s a common last name so there’s a possibility that they’re not related or wouldn’t know each other.

Maybe there won’t be any harm to ask if he knows of Sunghoon. If not, then your date could use a new friend. You haven’t seen Sunghoon with any of his friends. The topic never came up in your conversations but you realize that he hasn't greeted anyone since arriving here.

Before you can get up and pull Sunghoon with you to approach another table where the rest of your housemates are, someone calls your name from behind.

“do you wanna dance? if that's okay with your date of course”

Sunoo's a good friend of yours who you've shared many courses with before due to you both being in the same program. He's always been lovely and is down to your spontaneous study dates. Asking you to dance so you two would be the first ones on the dance floor is just one of his whims.

“you asked me, remember? so he’ll be fine with it” you turned to Sunghoon who’s staring at Sunoo with guarded eyes. He shifts his eyes at you and gives a hesitant smile. His reaction confused you. He couldn’t still be shy right?

Unless…

Sunoo opened his hand for you to take, giving Sunghoon a strange look like he’s studying him subtly. As soon as you got up and walked towards the centre of the dance floor, you couldn’t help but voice out the question that’s been bothering you.

"noo, why were you looking at my date like that?" you ask, truly confused with their interaction. You were still thinking of the small interaction between Sunghoon and Jay earlier. Now you'd have to add this one too.

"i was just trying to see if I've seen him somewhere," he answered, stealing a glance at Sunghoon on the table.

“don’t you know each other? he also volunteered for the Easter egg hunt” you press on, your browse crunching in deep confusion. Your brain’s trying to wrack up everything you remember on the day of the hunt.

“no, did he participate? he’s not one of the volunteers for sure. i would’ve remembered his face during the workshop”

Sunoo’s answer made your body freeze. Your heart's starting to beat faster, your fitted dress starting to feel suffocating — the plated parts caging your abdomen. Your breathing's changing, the nerves are catching up on you.

“smile, he’s watching. everyone is since we're obviously the best” you didn’t realize that you were gripping Sunoo’s shoulders for the past few seconds. You're obviously nervous and tried to play it cool so he won’t suspect any but he's giving you a knowing look.

That's what Sunoo is the best at — reading people. He's one of the smartest in your year for a reason.

You then realize the face that you must've been making, revealing what you truly think of your date in front of your friend. You close your eyes to calm yourself a little, taking a deep breathe before asking Sunoo the questions that have been in the back of your mind since the hunt.

"the eggs..are they shiny? glass like and in pastel colours?" you start, hoping for Sunoo to nod but he only raises a brow at you.

"we literally bought the typical Easter eggs from the dollar store, you know, the bright and patterned ones" he answers, the sassiness in his tone apparent now with how your questions have sounded ridiculous in his ears.

The eggs you had didn't look like any of those that Sunoo described.

"what's wrong? did you even manage to get any eggs? i saw you before you left to the forest and you didn't look interested at the event at all"

You'd wish Sunoo would stop talking. He's exposing you like this when Sunghoon or even anyone could be listening. The music's not so loud and you're both far from everyone but you didn't want to risk anything. Not until you can confirm what you just found out.

All these have started to overwhelm you and you're glad Sunoo's here to keep you grounded. You know he's been suspicious this entire time, just masking all of it unlike you who couldn't even handle any of this information.

This is not how you want this night to go.

"i got some eggs. s-special ones actually" you mutter, your voice shaky and Sunoo's eyes twitch a bit as soon as he hears it. You knew he's been trying to act normal as much as he can but hearing your voice is the last straw. The music's almost ending but you don't feel like going back to your table yet.

You want to stay here for a couple of minutes to calm down and gather your thoughts before facing Sunghoon again.

"everyone, please take a seat. the opening ceremony's about to begin"

Sunoo's eyes meet your nervous ones and reluctantly releases you as you near your table. His bright smile never changed but his grip on you tightened, almost like he doesn't want to let you go. You had no choice but to go back now because of the announcement. However, you spotted the washroom sign by the corner and you found your escape.

You immediately grab your evening bag as soon as you're out of his grasp.

Sunoo's words didn't fully sink in until you hear Sunghoon calling your name.

"are you okay? did something happen?" Sunghoon's concerned voice momentarily stops you and you force yourself to act normal. He eyes Sunoo behind you and that's when you put your hand on his chest to get his attention back on you.

"everything's fine, hoon! I'll be right back" your voice came out chirpier than you intended so he can tell you're in distress despite the smile you were trying to put up.

"let me come with you"

"no need, I'm okay i swear" you insist but Sunghoon's not convinced.

"i have to make sure you're okay," he says, voice full of worry while the confusion is obvious in his pretty face. You almost felt bad for suddenly treating him like this. Despite what's going on, he's still prioritizing your comfort.

It could be his last effort, you think.

Sunghoon was already suspicious of Sunoo earlier and you were failing to be inconspicuous. Plus, you don't want to get the attention of the other couples at your table.

One of them's already looking warily at you and Sunghoon. You smiled at them for reassurance, thankfully they reciprocated and returned their attention to their partner. You turned to Sunghoon and nodded, leaving your table hastily so you both could return quickly.

It'll be time to eat after and they'll call the table numbers one by one. Your table is in the middle of the order so you still have time. Nevertheless, you just want to be surrounded with other people as soon as possible.

You rush to the mirror as soon as you reach the washroom while Sunghoon closes the door. Closing your eyes, you force yourself to focus and fix your composure.

Fear looms you as soon as you feel Sunghoon focusing on you.

"you look troubled while dancing with sunoo" he starts as he nears you. The mention of your friend's name almost choked you on your breath, bringing back your conversation earlier where you've heard his answers the first time.

"it's not him. it's just.. one of those times" you try to explain but your heart's been hammering since being alone here with Sunghoon. You had a hunch that he already knows what's up based on your behaviour earlier.

You'll try to act normal at least.

"is there anything i can do to make you feel better?" he asks, voice becoming gentle again as he scans your face. You meet his eyes for the first time since hearing all the answers from Sunoo and you're beyond conflicted. Sunghoon genuinely looks worried at your sudden change of behaviour but you couldn't confirm if he figured you out already.

Maybe you still can keep this up.

"you being here is enough hoonie" the nickname encourages Sunghoon to come near you, taking a hold of your elbows to pull you towards him. You stare into his eyes once more, hoping that he'll see the need in your gaze.

Sunghoon steps closer and your eyes shifts down to his shiny lips, the ones that lured you into him the first time you met. He starts leaning when you don't move away, his lips nearing yours but never pushed further.

"let me make you feel better" he whispers against your lips, hands slowly rubbing your elbows. You can feel Sunghoon's desperation to touch you further but you haven’t given him any permission yet so he didn't.

Still polite.

Relief courses through you at the thought. At least, that never seems to change. You could use this as an opportunity, giving him a false sense of security now then he might be vulnerable enough later for you to confront him with the truth.

Smiling as you nod, you wrap your arms around Sunghoon's shoulders. He took this as a sign to hug you fully, rubbing your back for comfort. While doing so, he slowly backs you up until your ass hits the edge of the sink, releasing him from your arms.

Sunghoon's hand comes up to grab the side of your neck, pulling your face closer to his. You're expecting a kiss so you close your eyes, only for him to pull back. Instead, you feel his other hand lifts the hemline of your slit, his fingers brushing against your exposed skin.

“hoon not here…” short gasps escape you at his bold move. Granted the first time he had you was out in the open but this is different. The risk of getting caught is higher with many people nearby.

“not yet love, but don't worry, i will be quick” he reassures you, turning your body around to face the mirror. You didn't protest as Sunghoon meets your eyes through the reflection, looking thrilled to make you feel better.

His hand returns, slipping inside your dress to palm your thigh in one go. Locating your bud right away, he briefly touches it before the tips of his fingers trace along your clothed opening. Sunghoon's studying your face for any other reaction aside from the arousal emerging on your features.

Your body's squirming by being flushed against his and you berate yourself. You're soaked even before Sunghoon starts touching you. He just had that effect on your body that it almost made you forget everything you learned since arriving here at the venue.

Sunghoon sticks to his words, sliding your undies to the side and slipping his fingers in as soon as he deemed that you're wet enough. His pace is slow at first, allowing your walls to get used it but he gradually increases his speed.

"tight..because you're tense. let's loosen it up a bit, yeah?" he notes fondly, his breath fanning along the shell of your ear. He curves his fingers, reaching deeper in your caverns. You've been trying to roll your hips slowly to meet his thrusts but Sunghoon's holding your waist firmly, wanting you to just take what he's giving you at the moment.

His actual plan, that's why he followed you here.

Your moans are increasing in volume but Sunghoon's not covering your mouth to stifle it like you thought he would. Maybe he does want other people to catch him fingering you here. It's clear that he has a thing on it and you've grown to have it as well.

"hoon..there..there..fuck" your hands grabbed his neck for support and Sunghoon groans now that your ass rubbing against his crotch. He tried to put a distance between your bodies since his goal is to only make you cum but you don't care about anything other than his fingers inside your cunt right now.

You managed to switch your moans into quiet whimpers but Sunghoon's fingertips brushed your spongy spot and you're back to zero. Sunghoon notices though since he's been muffling his own sounds by mouthing your neck. His grip on your waist tightens the same way your cunt's clenching erratically around his digits.

You're so wet that apart from the minimal voices you and Sunghoon try to maintain, the squelching noises from your pussy echoes throughout the washroom walls. Someone could knock at any minute and you're praying that Sunghoon at least locked the doors.

"come on, love, let go for me"

Sunghoon's words strike multiples inside you. Both for letting go of your moans and your wary inhibitions of him. Not long after, your breathing starts getting heavier, throat dry from swallowing your moans. Few pumps of his fingers and you're unraveling in front of his eyes.

You tried to keep your eyes open but the rough pads of Sunghoon's fingers have paid special attention to your pulsing bud. Your eyes ended up rolling at the back of your head, your lips swollen now with the times you bit it to keep yourself from screaming his name out loud.

"can't..anymore.." you whimper, feeling like collapsing in his arms.  You took a glimpse at Sunghoon and he's watching you with awe, still sliding his fingers in and out slowly as you ride out your high. Your knees buckle at its intensity and if it weren't for Sunghoon cradling your body, you would've fallen forward.

He removes his fingers slowly when he feels your body twitching a little. You watch all his actions through the mirror, a whine eager to come out of you as soon as he slips his coated fingers into his mouth to taste your juices.

"sweet, like i know you will" he smiles after and releases you, helping you sit on the marbled surface beside the sink.

Sunghoon proceeds to wash his hands, retrieving some tissues after to clean you up. Your body's still shaking from the intense orgasm he just gave you, breathing heavily as you lazily spread your legs. Sunghoon parts your dress, staring at your ruined panties for a bit before his eyes zeroes in on your core.

His tall frame bends and meticulously wipes your core and legs, making sure that your dress didn't get any stains. His hands are shaking a little and you can see his inner struggle to not reinsert his fingers and fuck you here.

Sunghoon's sweet and that remained constant since the first time you met. Too sweet in other people's eyes if they find out that you haven't known each other long enough.

"i haven't been honest to you" he starts as soon as he finishes cleaning you up.

"about what hoon?" you're relaxed now like Sunghoon intended you to be. You're more collected thanks to him but your apprehension from earlier is still around. Ironic really when he's the reason why you were in shambles in the first place.

You wait for Sunghoon as he stands straight. He looks nervous and couldn't meet your gaze.

"I'm not what you think i am"

His admission surprises you. Out of guilt or probably, you were too obvious this whole time so he had no choice.

"what do you mean hoon? obviously you're not or i wouldn't be in this event with you"

Your tone was neutral but your after remarks could send a different message. This is the most nonchalant you've ever acted and you're just hoping to be convincing. Beckoning Sunghoon closer, he followed without breaking eye contact.

Damn those beautiful dark brown eyes.

"I'm different. not your kind" he continues, studying your face to figure out what you're thinking.

Sunghoon's confirmation should've shaken you up but it never did. Because you had no reason to fear him. He's never shown any indications that other people would consider otherwise, an abnormal behaviour. He's just odd, with even weirder habits. When he told you that he's different, you only thought it was just part of his quirkiness. You know, closeted rich boys with weird kinks so you played along even when you didn't really believe him.

"i don't understand"

"allow me to explain?" he offers, the hint of panic in his tone.

You got off the sink with his help to fix yourself. You're both facing the vanity mirror again, with Sunghoon returning to hold your waist tightly. You've noticed how his eyes seem a little different and the smile he's wearing, it's not in a threatening way but his sharp incisors spiked your heart a bit.

“you wouldn’t hurt me right?” you ask cautiously, gauging his reaction to your question. He didn't even get to start with his explanation yet but you need to know. There's no point going in circles. Whatever is happening, you need to hear those words just in case.

“hurt you? i would never dare to, darling” he sounds slightly offended at your assumption.

Sunghoon pulls you closer to him again, your body naturally melted in his arms right away. The notion terrified you a bit even if he reassured you already. It's basically a promise and he's never broken any of them so far.

"o-okay" you hate that you stuttered because Sunghoon might interpret it differently. Your heartbeats begin picking up, your throat closing up due to the wave of anxiousness suddenly hitting you.

You need to leave.

However, Sunghoon wraps his one arm around your waist, hugging your body flushed to his. He presses a kiss on your bare shoulder then noses your neck, inhaling your scent until he reaches the top of your jawline.

You're not sure if he can sense your nerves but you succumb to his touches. Not that it's difficult. You'd have to until you can send a text to Sunoo. Your hand itches to grab your phone from your evening bag, eyeing it desperately. However, Sunghoon rubs your stomach gently, distracting you from your plan. Draping your arm above his, you close your palm around his hand.

You're unsure of what Sunghoon is planning. Despite his comforting touches, your heart palpitates once again. He nudges your jaw to pay attention to him again so you meet his eyes through the mirror.

And they're gleaming with something darker than you anticipated.

“you said you’re already mine and i intend to keep it that way”

e/n: i haven't written this long since 2021 and it's also the first time that i wrote for a singular POV with this fic length but i hope it's okay! it’s still spring and easter's technically not over until pentecost in june so…

[taevescence]

Undeniable Temptation | Min Yoongi

Summary: It's three in the morning and you're still awake. The clock keeps ticking, and Yoongi still hasn't called. There were never any promises of love in your marriage, but even so, the thought of him being with another woman tears your soul apart— and the fact that he doesn’t feel the same way you do only makes it worse. Author’s note: Hi again!!! I know it’s been weeks since I last took a Valentine’s request, but in my defense, I really wanted this one to be as good as possible because it’s for my dear @ktownshizzle — so it took me a little longer, oops! Anyway, I finally finished it, and here it is! I hope you enjoy it 💗 Pairing: CEO!Yoongi x Fem!Reader AUs: Bad Boy!AU Word count: 7.8k (I'M SO SORRY) Warnings/tags: Smut (MDNI), Yoongi acts like a jerk at first, but then he’s a total sweetheart <3, mentions of fighting (not between them!), arranged marriage, unprotected sex (DON’T do this, it’s dangerous!!) Permanent Taglist: @thunderg @minjianhyung @queenv1997 @yoongtism @lizzymizzy-blogg @superbbananananana @drpepperobsessed @themwordsblog @taekritimin123 @bluecloudss @yooglefics @tan-veee @angellekookie @meadowsweetskoo You can join the taglist here! Dividers by @omi-resources

The soft ticking of the living room clock echoed through the silence, each beat pushing your nerves closer to the edge. You stared at the clock hands for a moment. 3:05 a.m.

Three in the morning… and Yoongi still wasn’t home.

You rose from the couch for what felt like the hundredth time, pacing across the room with restless steps, biting down on your thumbnail in a poor attempt to settle the unease bubbling in your chest. It wasn’t the first time Yoongi had come home this late, but tonight felt different. He always let you know ahead of time—always. Whether it was work or hanging out with his friends, he never forgot to text. But tonight? Nothing. Just silence.

And yet, here you were. Awake. Waiting. Because you couldn’t fall asleep without knowing he was safe.

Your marriage might have been arranged, but that didn’t mean you didn’t care. And he cared, too… in his own quiet, distant way.

From day one, you’d both made it clear—there were no strings attached, no expectations. It wasn’t love. Hell, you barely knew each other. But after living together for over a year and a half, after countless public dinners hand in hand, after he’d—thrown—his jacket over your shoulders to keep you warm, after he’d shown up with comfortable flats so you could change out of your heels… after all of that, somewhere along the way, you’d grown fond of him.

Too fond.

It wasn’t love. Of course not. You just… cared. As one human to another. That was all.

You exhaled sharply, dropping back onto the couch—again. The weight of your thoughts pressed down harder with each minute. You hated this—hated the complicated mess of feelings Yoongi stirred in you. Hated that dull ache in your chest, the one that twisted painfully at the thought of him being with someone else. You hated feeling anything at all. Especially when you were just the wife he was forced to tolerate for the rest of his life.

Was this what marriage was supposed to feel like? Was every couple haunted by this constant fear? Or were you the only one clinging to something that had never even been real?

God. You weren’t even his real wife. Why did it hurt this much?

Pathetic.

You reached for your phone, your fingers moving slower than usual. You winced when the harsh brightness of the screen hit your eyes, cursing under your breath as you fumbled to lower it.

And then you saw them—three new messages. Yoongi.

You sat upright, heart stuttering in your chest as your eyes scanned the short texts he’d sent… thirty minutes ago.

> I’m coming home.

I’ll be there in about forty minutes.

Don’t wait up.

You read them again. And again. And again.

Seriously? That was it? He messaged you at two-thirty just to say he was on his way? Couldn’t he have told you earlier? Couldn’t he be a halfway decent husband and text you after work, let you know he was… doing something?

“Unbelievable,” you muttered, tossing your phone onto one of the throw pillows with a bitter scoff. If he meant what he said, he’d be home in about ten minutes. Forty minutes… that was the time it took to reach the outskirts of the city.

His office was just fifteen minutes away. His friends lived nearby. There was no reason to be that far out unless…

Unless it wasn’t work.

Unless there was someone else. Someone hidden, tucked away just far enough that you’d never find out.

Screw your earlier mental speech— If he was cheating on you, you were absolutely capable of breaking his damn nose.

The soft sound of keys jingling briefly pulled you out of your thoughts, causing every inch of your body to freeze in place. He had arrived. Yoongi was home, and you had no idea what to do or where to hide because, even if you hadn’t done anything wrong, you felt like you’d just committed a crime and the police were about to catch you red-handed.

Despite the fear and anxiety that screamed for you to retreat to your room, crawl under the covers, and force yourself to pretend to be asleep—ignoring the fact that your husband might be cheating on you—your body didn’t seem to want to obey your mind. Your feet felt glued to the floor, and your eyes were fixed on the hallway leading to the living room, where you’d been pacing for hours, waiting for him.

It only took a few seconds before you saw him step through the door. His shirt more wrinkled than when he left, his tie in disarray, his jacket hanging off one arm, and his face… his face looked so different from when he left the house.

The left eyebrow had a bandage crossing it from top to bottom, his left cheek was bruised, a dark blue mark that would probably swell by morning—or in a few hours—and his lip had a small cut on one corner.

You knew Yoongi sometimes got involved in dangerous things, but never, in the year and a half you’d been living together, had he come home looking like this.

The thought of infidelity quickly evaporated as you processed what you’d just seen. You rushed toward him, cupping his face in your hands, studying him more closely to see if there were any other injuries you’d missed the first time.

“Damn, Yoongi, what the hell happened to your face? You look terrible,” your voice came out higher than you intended, but you didn’t care. You ran your hands over the bruise on his cheek, making a face when you heard Yoongi hiss quietly. He never complained unless it really hurt. “Did you get into a fight with someone? No, wait, it’s obvious you got into a fight! Why the hell did you get into a fight with someone?”

You followed him as he walked away, confused, watching him fill a small glass with whiskey and drink it in one go.

“I’m not in the mood for your stupid questions, Y/N,” he murmured softly, sounding more tired than annoyed. That didn’t stop the pain that twisted in your chest when you heard him say that.

Yoongi never called you by your name. He always used the nickname “Sweetheart,” he said, just to annoy you. You’d gotten used to that stupid nickname that made your cheeks burn and short-circuited your brain. You’d forgotten that to him, this was nothing more than a stupid arrangement, with no emotions involved.

Yes, you were sad. You wanted to cry. You wanted to scream. You wanted to hit yourself for being stupid enough to think that he actually felt something for you.

But between the sadness and the anger, anger was what won out in this moment.

“Stupid questions?” you murmured, clenching your fists at your sides, feeling the heat rising in your chest, making its way up to your face as your anger started to grow. All the emotions you’d felt in the last few hours were now flooding to the surface. “You think my questions are stupid?”

Yoongi turned to look at you, his brow furrowing slightly, confusion marking his features—the same features you’d once found so charming. Now you just wanted to punch him in the balls and scream at him for being a complete idiot.

“You think it’s stupid that I’m worried about you after not hearing from you for the past seven fucking hours?” You watched in silence as his eyes widened at your question. You’d never spoken to him like that before. Normally, it was him who acted like this—him who ignored you, who teased you, who lightly tapped your forehead with his finger. He was the one who got to be rough with you while you just took it because—damn it—you liked it. You liked his little games, his teasing, the cute nickname he had for you. You liked him, and that’s why you always acted shy.

Well, now that shyness could go to hell. Yoongi had crossed your line, and now you were going to cross his.

“Y/N—”

“No!” You shoved your index finger into his chest, using all your strength to push him back. Your breathing was erratic, your teeth clenched so tightly that your jaw ached. You wanted to grab that stupidly beautiful hair of his and yank it until he apologized for treating you this way. “Don’t you dare throw out some dumb excuse, don’t you dare say my name like it’s going to make whatever you say next carry more weight!”

You shoved him again, enjoying the control, at least for once in this entire messed-up relationship. He wasn’t the only one with a bad reputation before that damn wedding was even in the picture.

“You walked out on your job to go God knows where, you were gone for seven fucking hours with no word, sent three damn texts saying you'd be late, leaving me alone in this house, running through a million scenarios in my head of why you were so late, wondering if you were with some other woman while I sat here waiting for you, and you come home with a bruised face— and you still think my questions are ridiculous?” You grabbed his shirt, pulling him closer so you could see him better. Normally, you'd be nervous, maybe even thinking about kissing him... but now, the urge to slap him was a lot stronger.

“Are you serious? You’re the one who imagined all this shit, and somehow I’m the problem? It’s not my fucking fault you’re so insecure you think I’m gonna cheat on you with someone else! Damn, you’re not even my real wife, why the hell do you care who I sleep with?”

That comment dropped both of you into silence.

You let go of his shirt, not sure what to do with your hands now. Your lashes fluttered quickly, fighting back the tears you refused to let fall, not in front of him. Not after what he just said.

Even though, deep down, you knew he was right. He didn’t owe you any explanations. You were the one who got your hopes up, the one who thought there was something more. He had every right to be with whoever he wanted, and you… you couldn’t deny him that. After all, nowhere in the contract did it say anything about exclusivity.

“Hey, sweetheart, wait, I didn’t— I didn’t mean that, okay? You know I didn’t?” He reached out to take your hand, but you flinched away, as if touching you burned. “I-I’m sorry, it was a stupid thing to say, it wasn’t thought through, it was just… just an impulse.”

You clutched the silk robe wrapped around you. It was the only thing stopping you from feeling the sting that came with trying to breathe. Why did you have to fall in love with Yoongi? What was it about him that made you risk everything, knowing it was going to end like this? You were angry with him, but more than that, you were furious with yourself for allowing him to hurt you. You knew the only one who would be left broken was you.

“No,” you whispered after a beat. Your gaze dropped to the floor, your shoulders slumped, and your hair shielded your face, hiding the tears that were threatening to spill. It was the perfect pose for a breakdown. You wanted to break down, “You’re right. It was stupid to care about you when we’re nothing.”

“No, wait, let me—” He cut himself off when he noticed a single drop of water hit the floor, and your shoulders started to tremble. You were crying. He had made you cry. He wanted to blame the idiot he fought with at the bar, wanted to blame the alcohol for making him act without thinking, wanted to blame anyone other than himself because he didn’t want to be the one who made you cry.

But he had.

He should have just answered your damn questions and been done with it, not gotten defensive.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered softly, his hands gently resting on your shoulders, unsure if you were going to push him away again or lash out. But you did nothing. You let him pull you in and wrap you in his arms. It was awkward, you felt awkward, he felt awkward, but he needed to do this. He needed you to hear him so that at least you’d stop thinking he was out there with someone else.

Yoongi might be a complete jerk, but he would never, ever cheat on you.

“My brother came to my office just before I came home,” he said, his hand softly brushing through your hair, fingers threading through your strands as if to offer some kind of silent comfort. “He asked me to go for drinks at a bar nearby. I forgot to text you. I’m sorry.”

You stayed quiet for a few moments. You were still a bit tense under his embrace, but you let yourself wrap your arms weakly around his waist. It was your way of showing that, at least, you were listening, that you were open to hearing him out. Were you being stupid for trusting him? Probably. Did you care? Not really. You knew that hearing him out was a hit to your ego and dignity, but you still wanted to listen, wanted to hold on to whatever little hope was left inside you.

Being in love really did turn you into a mess.

“You were right. It’s my fault. I did things that made you think that way, and I know I shouldn’t have said that, but I just… I got so frustrated thinking that you actually believed I’d be with someone else, someone who wasn’t you.” He softly licked his lips, feeling them uncomfortably dry all of a sudden. At least now he’d cleared up the one thing that had been bothering him.

Now, all that was left was for you to believe him.

“Why does your face look like that?” you asked quietly, your face still hidden in his shoulder, your hands still on his waist, this time clutching the fabric of his shirt as if trying to push out the anger and pain building up inside you. Hearing him out and wanting to forgive him didn’t just erase your anger.

Yoongi was quiet for a moment, enough to think through his answer and not make the atmosphere any more tense than it already was.

“I got into a fight with some guy at the bar.” You could feel his hands tighten, his hold on you becoming stronger. It felt like he was trying to protect you from something, like remembering the fight only made him want to keep you closer.

And that only made you more confused.

“Why?” you asked, your voice calm as you waited for his answer. You wanted to understand why he’d gotten into a fight after all this time. You knew he used to get into fights when he was younger, but you thought that part of him was behind him now. After his dad left him in charge of the company, you believed he’d grown out of that. Now, you weren’t so sure.

“Because no one’s allowed to talk shit about my wife.” He buried his face in your neck, relaxing slightly as he breathed in the familiar scent of your perfume, that something that was uniquely you. The memories of the bar fight came rushing back—his anger flaring again as he recalled how one of his coworkers, a guy who’d been to several company parties with you two, had told his friend how badly he wanted to fuck you in a hotel room, how you had the face of someone who was easy, how you always smiled at him like you wanted something more.

He was out of his mind if he thought he was going to let that guy walk away without getting a beating. You deserved more than a sleazy hotel room that charged by the hour. You deserved respect—not because you were his girlfriend, but because you were a person, just like him, and far more respectable than the idiot he’d fought with. You deserved to be happy and to be kind to other men without them thinking you wanted something else.

Yoongi would fight that guy a thousand times over if it meant defending your image, because you deserved that and so much more.

And yet, here you were, still tied to someone like him, someone who couldn’t even express his feelings without saying something that hurt you in the process.

“You fought… for me?” You watched as Yoongi’s face, usually so pale, flushed a soft pink. His eyes darted around the room, anywhere but you.

It was the first time you’d ever seen him like this. The first time he’d shown you any real emotion when it came to you.

He was embarrassed because he’d just confessed he fought for you.

You both stayed quiet. You, watching him, feeling a heat rise in your chest, your hands starting to sweat, forcing you to rub them against your robe. Him, running a hand through his messy hair, keeping his gaze fixed on the floor, biting his lower lip.

Yoongi didn’t know what to say. You had a million questions running through your mind.

“Why did you do it?” You took a step closer to him, feeling a small ache in your chest when you saw him pull back slightly, almost instinctively. You were crossing a line, one he had set from the start of your relationship, an unspoken rule—he didn’t want you getting too close, didn’t want the emotions between you to grow any stronger. Didn’t want the attraction you both felt to turn into something bigger, more serious.

Your step didn't just cross a physical line—it crossed an emotional one too. And that set off every alarm inside Yoongi.

“Answer me,” you insisted, louder this time, your brows furrowed, fists clenched. You had respected his boundaries all this time, constantly convincing yourself this was one-sided—that your feelings were nothing more than something you'd imagined, something you should keep buried until the very end.

But now that you knew that wasn’t true, you weren’t about to stand back.

“Y/N, I—” Yoongi licked his lower lip, letting his head fall back. His hands—now with slightly reddened knuckles—covered his face like a child hiding from the world, as if that could magically make everything go away. “I don’t know why I did it, okay? It just… happened.”

“You’re lying!” you cut him off the second he finished. This time, you pushed him a little harder—just enough to make him step back. You could hear the shake in his voice, the uncertainty in his tone. You could see how his eyes dodged yours like they were poison.

You wanted him to tell you the truth. You needed to hear him say that you mattered to him as much as he mattered to you.

You wanted to hear him say he loved you, the same way you loved him.

“Shit, what do you want me to say? That is the truth!” Yoongi’s voice rose a little, but you didn’t care—not when he finally looked you in the eye after admitting he got into a fight. His clenched jaw and dark eyes might’ve scared someone else, might’ve made them back down.

But you knew him too well for that—unfortunately for him.

His glare, despite the anger, wavered constantly. You could see a flicker of insecurity there—and something else, emotions you knew better than anyone Yoongi didn’t want to feel. He fought tooth and nail to keep them buried. But you wanted to drag them out of him.

“Stop lying to yourself, Yoongi!” You tried to push him again, but his hands quickly grabbed your wrists, pulling you close until there were only inches between you.

Your breaths were ragged, tangled in the storm of emotions swirling between you. His grip on your wrists loosened, but his hands never left your skin. You watched as he ran his tongue over his lips, his intense gaze locked on you the whole time.

“Stop pushing me,” he whispered, holding the distance even though something deep inside him screamed to get away from you—that this would only make things worse, that he wouldn’t be able to control himself with you this close, with your skin burning against his palms, with the way he craved more and more.

But apparently, that voice wasn’t persuasive enough.

You didn’t say anything. You just stood there, feeling your heartbeat race so fast it thundered in your ears, feeling the heat rise from your toes to your ears, your stomach twisting uncomfortably from the sensation of his touch.

You wanted more of him. You wanted everything he could give you and more. You wanted to feel his lips on yours, his hands on your body, his nose against your neck, his voice in your ear.

And this was your chance to have it.

So you grabbed the collar of his shirt and yanked him down until his lips crashed into yours. Only then did you feel like you could breathe again.

You thought this would be the end of everything—that he’d take it as the final excuse to sign the damn divorce papers you were sure he’d wanted from day one. But no. He didn’t shove you away. He didn’t yell. He didn’t demand answers or accuse you of doing something reckless without his consent.

Instead, he cupped your cheeks, his tongue tracing your lower lip, turning your clumsy, desperate kiss into something wildly intense—a kiss that stopped being one-sided the moment he decided to kiss you back.

Your hands tangled in his hair, tugging whenever your body threatened to lose control. You could feel his desperation match yours, like you were both fighting a war with no winner, because in the end, you were both going to enjoy the outcome anyway.

His touch grew needier, more frantic, and you nearly gasped when you felt his cold fingers against your thighs, lifting you off the ground without bothering to break the kiss. He didn’t care if your teeth clashed or if you let out soft moans and gasps between breaths.

He’d gone months without touching you like this. Now that he could, he wasn’t going to waste a single second.

You both got lost in the smell of each other, the touch, the way your hearts beat in sync—fast, unrestrained, chaotic. The kind of heartbeat that only happens when you've waited for something your whole life, and when it finally arrives, it exceeds your expectations so much that everything else just stops.

There was no one left to fool—because there was no one else in that room.

You moaned against his lips when his hand slid up your back, slipping under your nightgown, exposing more of your skin with every inch. You felt him smile against your neck as your body shivered from his touch.

“If I’d known you were this sensitive, I would’ve done this months ago,” he whispered against your skin, leaving light bites and marks along your neck. Something about the blank canvas of your skin bothered him—it made him want to cover it, to claim it, until it was unrecognizable.

To him, your skin was a blank canvas, and his lips were the brush to turn it into a masterpiece.

You gasped when he dropped you onto the bed, quickly settling between your legs. The pressure in your chest tightened as he hovered over you—lips swollen and shiny, tongue lazily brushing over them, his hair a mess from your hands, his dark eyes watching you like you were the most stunning woman he’d ever laid eyes on.

And in this moment, you felt that beautiful—just from the way he was looking at you.

So intense. So suffocating.

It was exactly how you imagined it.

Even with both of you breathing heavily and your pulses racing, the intensity of the kiss had faded, leaving a silence thick with tension—tension that had been building between you from day one.

“Are you sure about this?” he whispered, resting his forehead against yours. That messy, heated passion from a moment ago was gone now, replaced with something quieter. “It’ll never be the same between us.” His hand gently caressed your waist under your nightgown—not in a lustful way, not to change your mind—just because he needed to feel you, to know this was real. “We’ll never be the same.”

You placed your hand on his cheek, gently tracing his features, your touch filled with quiet longing. You’d made your decision months ago. You’d been waiting for this longer than you cared to admit. You wanted to be his—and you wanted him to be yours. You wanted your marriage to stop being a contract between parents and start being something real. Something you both craved.

“I know,” you whispered, wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him closer, closing the last bit of space between you. It was torturous having him this close, brushing lips but not quite kissing, feeling his breath mix with yours. It was painfully sweet. “But I don’t care.”

“You don’t care?” he let out a breathy laugh, his hands gently removing the robe from your shoulders. In his eyes, the same passion from moments ago was still there, steady and present. It reminded you that you had just kissed, that he was ready to take off his clothes and claim you, just as you were ready to claim him.

But there was more.

You could feel it in the way his touch was firm yet gentle, in the way his lips curved into a smile you’d never seen before—not like this, not while you were watching him. Whatever was happening between the two of you was more than just the pent-up desire of a contract marriage. Deep down, you both knew it.

“No,” you replied, your voice shaking more than you intended. His hands had already finished removing the robe, the only thing left between his touch and your skin being the nightgown you wore. “I want this, Yoongi. I want you.”

And that was enough to completely unravel him.

His lips crashed into yours again, kissing you with a sweet, addictive hunger. The movement of his hips against yours drew soft moans from both of you, urging you to go further, to strip away every last piece of clothing and make this moment last as little time as possible.

But neither of you wanted it to end quickly, even if your bodies demanded release.

Yoongi lifted the hem of your nightgown slowly, making you squirm in place. You shivered as the cool air brushed against your bare skin, a sharp contrast to the heat building in your chest. His gaze lingered on every exposed inch of you, taking you in as if he were savoring the view.

A moan escaped your lips as he straightened up, positioning himself between your legs, giving him a perfect view of your body—the way your thighs trembled, the way your lips parted slightly as you fought to hold still, trying not to show how much you needed him right then.

He flicked the inside of his cheek with his tongue, his hands moving to his belt, unfastening it with deliberate slowness, only to toss it aside. There was no comparison between his fantasies and the reality of his touch, and his body knew it.

“You’re so fucking beautiful, baby,” he whispered, his voice low and husky, sending a shiver down your spine. His eyes never left you as he tossed the belt into a corner of the room, his gaze hungry yet reverent, as though he was seeing you for the first time, letting go of the walls he’d built up until now. “And so... mine.”

He gripped your waist, pulling you toward him in one swift movement, his hips pressing against yours. A grin tugged at his lips as he felt the slight tremor in your legs and heard the soft squeak that escaped you.

He leaned in, nipping at your lower lip just enough to make you gasp.

“Why do you look so shy now?” he murmured against your mouth. “We both know how much you’re going to enjoy this.”

His hand slid down your back, cupping your ass shamelessly, squeezing hard before giving you a playful spank. The sound was dry, but the heat that spread across your skin was electrifying. You looked up at him, surprised, but his smile only widened as if he had won something.

“Why did you do that!?” you asked, your voice breathless.

You couldn’t pretend you didn’t like how things were unfolding. You’d imagined this moment a thousand times, but this? This was beyond anything you had dreamed.

“I had to get you to open that pretty mouth of yours somehow,” he said, his thumb stroking the spot where he had just touched, but the tenderness lasted only a moment before he returned to squeezing your ass, making you squirm.

You weren’t sure if you wanted to kiss him, smack him, or beg him to never stop.

Maybe all three.

You were about to voice your frustration, to call him out for making this whole situation even more torturous than it already was. But then he started moving. This time, it wasn’t slow. He made you feel him, guiding your hips against his erection, his hands roaming over your curves as if he were memorizing every detail of you. His lips trailed down your neck, to your collarbone, leaving a mark you’d notice tomorrow.

“Tell me you want me again,” he said, his voice almost a command. “Do it trembling, like before.”

You hesitated, not because you didn’t feel it, but because your mind couldn’t form the words, couldn’t force your mouth to say what you knew was true. You weren’t sure if it was the touch of his body, the rawness in his eyes, or the fire in your veins, but you couldn’t speak. Your hands moved instead, trailing down to the waistband of his pants, awkwardly trying to push them off as he grabbed your wrists and pinned them above your head.

He clicked his tongue, shaking his head as if he were disappointed in you. “Words, baby. I want words,” he murmured, his voice laced with a teasing grin.

You stirred under him, feeling an electric current run through your body. You'd never been held like this, never had your hands been held like this, and you couldn't help but be grateful that you could experience this for the first time with Yoongi because, fuck, there was nothing more exciting than seeing his arm on you, seeing the veins in it mark as he applied force to yours, the way your heartbeat quickened and being aware that he could feel it, that he knew how nervous that gesture made you. 

You licked your lips, your eyes fixed on his, expectant, alert, ready for anything he was willing to give you because that’s the level of madness you had reached, to that point you would stoop if it meant being able to feel him inside you. 

“I want you,” you managed, your voice shaky but firm with the truth in every word.

You watched as his lips formed a lazy smile, one that seemed too sure of itself, too aware of the state you were in; he knew, if at this moment he asked you to get down on your knees, you would, all to have a little piece of him, and he definitely wanted to give you more than a little piece of him. 

He undressed completely, never breaking eye contact. His hot body, his rapid breath, every part of him screamed there was no turning back.

He spread your legs, a deliberate, almost lazy motion, as if he enjoyed every second of seeing you surrender to him. He leaned down, planting soft kisses on your stomach, leaving a trail of kisses that made you arch against the sheets. He moved up slowly, brushing your skin with his nose, with his lips, with his teeth. You felt as if every part of you was being discovered for the first time.

“Do you know how many times I’ve thought about this since we got married?” he asked, his voice raspy, that kind of voice you'd only been able to hear on the few mornings you'd seen him wake up, or on those nights counted on the fingers of one hand when he drank enough to fall half asleep in the car. “Ever since I saw you at the restaurant... I still remember that red dress you wore. It highlighted every curve, those heels making your legs look perfect. The way you held the glass to your lips and stared at me... like you were daring me, provoking me.” His hand slid between your thighs, stroking where you needed it most, slow at first, knowing full well the effect he was having on you. 

“Yoongi—” you whispered, voice breaking as you arched against him, feeling the coolness of his fingers add a perfect contrast to the fire within you.

“Fuck,”his fingers pressed your clit harder, playing with it as if it didn't make your legs tremble and the knot in your belly tighten. “My name sounds so good when you say it like that.”

Your hands jerked under his grip, desperate to break free, to grab something to keep you sane, to keep you conscious, but all you managed to do was bury your nails in his wrist, scratching his skin every time he touched a too-sensitive nerve, biting your lips every time a too-loud moan threatened to come out. 

You could feel with what little sanity you had left as his lips devoured your neck, as his tongue ran along your collarbone, letting out gasps of satisfaction at the taste of you, at the feel of your pulse against his tongue, fast, strong, steady. 

The movement of his fingers became faster, more and more excruciating, and the tremors in your body became harder to bear. Your hips began to move against his touch, desperate to reach that wonderful point where you would finally achieve release. 

The pressure of his fingers increased, the rhythm intensifying, and your body was on the edge. You moved against him, chasing the release you needed so badly.

And just when you thought you were about to reach it, when the tension in your stomach was about to snap… Yoongi stopped.

“What the-?” You choked on your own saliva as you watched him hold his member in the hand he had just masturbated you with. It was big. Really big. In your head you had imagined what it might look like, how well he would know how to use it, how deep he could go, but this? Fuck, this far exceeded your expectation.

Your body froze, every nerve alive with anticipation as you felt him align with you. His lips found yours in a soft kiss, a calm before the storm. And then you felt him enter you for the first time, slow, deep, so intimately that you felt yourself breaking into a thousand pieces.

A low moan escaped his throat, one that merged with yours in the dimly lit room. He moved slowly at first, exploring your reactions, gauging the rhythm with which your body responded to his. But when he heard you release his name between gasps, as if you needed it more than air, he lost all restraint. At last he released your hands from his grip, but only to move them to your hips, to hold your body steady every time he gave a thrust. 

You took that very instant to bring your hands to his back, scratching at his skin, clinging to him, needing to feel his body as close to yours as possible to remind you that this was real, that this was not another dream -deliciously realistic.

You hit your head against the pillow as you felt his movements become more rhythmic, deeper, as his mouth traveled down your neck and shoulders, leaving traces of his presence as if he wanted to mark you from the inside and out. You knew that the next morning your body would have marks of him imbued on it, but you also knew that you had left yours on his, and that only made the sensation more exciting. Those marks were proof that this night really happened.

“Shit,” he murmured, his voice low, husky, choppy with pleasure. “That's it, baby. You're taking me so good.” 

Your toes curled, and you had to take it all from yourself not to lose your mind right then and there. Your whole body seemed to be on edge, every lunge, every touch he gave to your most sensitive spot, made you completely lose your mind, made you want to grab his neck and kiss him until you ran out of air, until the skin on your lips swelled.

You wanted all this and more.

The room was filled with gasps, skin against skin, that urgency that is only born when desire has been held back too long. His hands gripped your hips as if he feared you would fade, as if clinging to you could make all of this even more real than it was.

Your back arched one last time, pleasure bursting from deep inside your body in a warm surge that made you scream his name without thinking. Your nails marked his back, your lips sought his almost desperately, as if you wanted that moment to be etched on your skin, on your soul.

And he fell with you.

His hips moved a couple more times, desperate, until his body shuddered over yours, leaving him breathless, speechless, spilling inside you with a broken sigh that sounded almost like a wail. Silence enveloped you for a few seconds

Your foreheads met, breath mingling, his heartbeat loud and fast against yours.

“Yoongi,” you whispered, your hands caressing the marks you had left on his skin, “I love you.”

And he smiled—a tired, content smile, as if he had never expected to hear it. As if, in that moment, he finally understood that everything he had avoided feeling... was already too far inside him. And it was. He didn't understand how, he didn't understand when, but he was so fucking lost for you that he would fight all the men in the world just to have you by his side.

“I know,” he murmured against your lips, keeping his eyes on yours all the time. He wanted you to feel his honesty, to know that every word that left his lips was true, even if he had never been able to prove it clearly.  “Because I love you too.”

His lips barely brushed yours, with a tenderness almost fearful, as if by kissing you, he admitted that there was no turning back, as if that kiss was a thousand times more meaningful than what you had just done. And perhaps it was. Perhaps that kiss was what truly marked you, perhaps that 'I love you' you had just said was the real mark that officially turned the both of you into something more than just a signature on paper.

When the vertigo began to subside and the heat between you both turned into a memory, your mind began to fill with doubts. With words. With fear. The memories of everything you had said just moments ago replayed in your mind, serving as a reminder that neither of you were thinking clearly, that there was a possibility that everything you had said was simply an instinct driven by the passion of the moment.

And that was destroying you inside.

With a lump in your throat, you asked the same question Yoongi had asked you moments ago; this time, both of you were lucid, this time neither of you were desperate to undress the other, this time you weren’t sure if your heart could handle the rejection after everything that had happened.

"This doesn't change anything, does it?" you whispered, your voice trembling with the weight of reality. "In a few hours, when you wake up, will things be the same as before?"

His hand stopped at your waist, his fingers tightening slightly at your question, and that only made your fears grow more real. Yoongi could say he loved you, but there was a big difference between admitting what he felt for you and letting you fully into his life, and that last part? That was exactly what you feared you might never reach.

But then he straightened up, looking at you with his brow slightly furrowed and his head tilted to one side, as if he had just heard the biggest nonsense in the world.

"I thought we made it clear that nothing would be the same after tonight," he murmured, resuming his gentle caresses on your waist. You could see his hair falling over his face, some strands sticking to his forehead and others tickling your face; you weren’t sure if it was that that made him look even more attractive or the fact that he calmed your fear with just one sentence.

"Yes, I know, but—" you stopped when you felt his index finger rest on your lips, his eyebrow raising as a smug smile appeared on his face. Now it was you who frowned.

"Sweetheart. You're tired. Go to sleep." he whispered, gently adjusting you on the bed, covering both of your bodies under the warm sheets of your shared bed. This time, the smile he gave you was softer, a little more sincere. "I'll still be here in the morning."

You both stayed quiet, the kind of silence that feels comfortable, that brings calm—the kind that lets you know what the other is thinking just by looking at them. Closing your eyes and thinking you might not see him when you woke up… it scared you. But the idea of trusting him, of truly seeing him next to you the next day, was so… exciting.

For the first time in your life, that excitement was stronger than the fear of all the “what ifs.”

So you slept. Finally. You trusted his words and let the fear slowly fade away, second by second, as your eyes grew heavier and sleep became harder to resist.

And yet, when you opened your eyes, the space beside you was empty.

Not cold. Just… without him.

For a moment, the knot returned to your throat, along with last night’s question. You began to wonder how you would ever look him in the eye again, how you could go back to talking to him like nothing had happened.

But then you heard footsteps. Soft, but steady—each step sounding louder than the last, as if someone was getting closer to you.

And then you saw him walk in.

His hair was still messy, his face still looked a little sleepy. The only difference from the night before was that he had thrown on a pair of sweatpants. That, and the cup of coffee he was holding in one hand.

He sat down on his side of the bed, as if you weren’t sitting there watching him with your mouth hanging open and your eyes nearly popping out of your face.

He set the mug on his nightstand and turned to you, using two fingers to gently push up your chin and close your mouth.

“I thought you—”

“I know,” he murmured, using his hold on your chin to bring your face closer to his. He only stopped when you were leaning into him, your faces just a few centimeters apart. “Your eyes have always been really expressive.” Then he raised his lips to your forehead, leaving a soft kiss there before continuing. “Tough luck, sweetheart. You’re stuck with me for life now.”

Masterlist.

[acphengene]

Tunes

₊ ⁺ pairing: Sunghoon x reader

₊ ⁺ word count: 4k

₊ ⁺ genre: soulmate au, fluff, angst, depression, ilness, surger

₊ ⁺ songs: Adore you by Miley Cyrus - Vacancy by Chris Harper

₊ ⁺ note: i can’t belive it’s finished! cant belive this is it. i will however make small follow up stories. if you wanna be added to my general taglist please let me know

₊ ⁺ Jake ₊ ⁺ Jungwon ₊ ⁺ Jay ₊ ⁺ Sunoo ₊ ⁺ Heeseung ₊ ⁺ Niki ₊ ⁺ Sunghoon ₊ ⁺ Masterlist

Sunghoon did unlike his brothers walk through the world without constantly looking over his shoulder for his other half.

He didn’t mind it, at least that had been the case for the last few years. However, accepting it hadn’t always been easy.

When he turned 13 his heart had broken when nothing showed up on his body. His parents had then calmed him down and told him that in some cases it just took a while for them to manifest, and some even had marks that you couldn’t see.

But days turned into weeks, and weeks into months and after 3 years he had completely given up. He had no idea what had happened to you, but he grieved the loss of you.

He had wondered for days on end on just how you might’ve ended up leaving this world before the two of you met. It had hurt his heart so much he at points in his life had grown depressed by the thoughts.

At other times he had wondered just what a terrible human being he had to be to not be granted a soulmate. And when he sobbed in his brother's shoulders once a year on his birthday, they did their best to reassure him that he indeed deserved his own half just like they did.

He had never told them why the date always broke his heart, but he was in constant hope that maybe this would be the year where his mark would manifest, that it was not that he didn’t have a soulmate, the mark had just been delayed.

One thing everyone always admired about him was that he never grew cold. He could be a little distant from time to time, as if he was in another world, but he was never cold. Not with his brothers, his family and not with engenes.

“Ugh I’m gonna need it to be June real fucking fast” Niki said as he threw himself on the couch.

Jay was currently cooking dinner as Jake and Heeseung was playing whatever game they were obsessed with this week.

“Missing her so soon?” Sunoo said with a smirk as he raised his brows in a suggestive manner.

“Disgusting” Jungwon said, with a smile.

“Obviously! You all would to if you weren’t so lucky they were all able to relocate” he was fidgeting with the cover of his phone as he for the fourth time checked the clock on it. Niki’s soulmate would be up soon which meant morning or nightly FaceTimes with a very much in love maknae. Depending on whichever time zone he was in on that giving day.

Sunghoon was happy for them all, happy that none of them was left without, that they had someone genuinely loving them. Jealous? Of course, but he had gotten used to controlling it whenever they were around.

The dorm had the last year and a half been a battle ground, and luckily their managers had finally decided that giving the guys more space was now a must. Especially since most of the girls were living in the dorms, part and full time.

They were all a lot of fun, and he liked having them all around. They were often more a distraction than a reminder of what he lacked. And they had all become sisters to him. Always supportive and uplifting.

You had the best life, one with song and laughter. One with whispers and yells after your younger brothers. One filled with joy and only occasional sadness.

That was until you turned 12 and everything turned upside down over night. You had awoken one night, with trouble breathing, panicking as you fumbled in the dark room for help.

It had finally come as you knocked over your bedside table. Your father had been there in a second, and before you knew it you were in a hospital gown with an oxygen mask on your face.

A node was what had caused all the trouble, a node on your vocal cords. One they would have to remove. You to this day still remembered laying in the room with no voice as your father yelled at the doctor to fix it, to give you back your laugh, suddenly desperate to hear it one last time.

But they couldn’t, it had cause paralysis and sure it was fixable, but risky. So your parents had made the decision of letting you go mute instead of the possibility of letting you die.

Luckily for you, you were stubborn. You learned asl in a desperate need to communicate with your siblings as fast as possible. However you hadn’t thought about their need to learn it to be able to understand you.

When you turned 13 you still remember being frightened. What if your other half wouldn’t understand? What if he would find you wierd and reject you?

Your mother had done her best in explaining that anyone would be a fool to miss out on you, but you saw the worry in her eyes, and you knew you were right to have that fear.

No marks came, no tingeling on your skin to indicate a touch mark. Nothing.

Until one night, when you heard him. He was singing, with a voice so soft and gentle, a song in a language you couldn’t understand.

And you wept, you cried and you tried to scream. Because what kind of universe would grant you a gift so beautiful, when you were unable to use it?

It was hard figuring out just what language it was he spoke when you couldn’t repeat the words, especially when they were so difficult to articulate in your own alphabet.

But in the end you got the hang of it, and suddenly Korean was the next language for you to master. And you were good, but then again, you knew you had an added advantage of not needing to use the pronunciation, because as far as you remembered, Spanish had been hard enough.

You knew it was worth it though. Understanding the little hums of words he would sing in the evenings, the songs he would scream when he hung out with his friends, or when he mimicked a bird?

You didn’t know what that one was about, and the silent laugh you let out were all you could respond with whenever he did.

The years went by and everything you learned through his love of song made you love him even more. It was as if he was the voice of both of you.

You loved him. You loved him so much and you often wondered if it wasn’t for him if you would’ve lost your mind in this soundless world without him.

He was amazing, and you thanked the universe every day for granting you a soulmate as kind and loving as he was. Of course you felt sorry for him, he had after all no idea you existed.

Where your life had a constant backtrack of song and hums and melodies, his was silent.

You had gotten used to a life without a voice, so much that you yourself didn’t really think about getting it back. This was after all your life now.

A cover. He had been tasked to sing a cover of a song. Well not only him but all of them.

Unfortunately they themselves had been given the task of choosing them. Which meant the dorm was now filled with songs of love and longing.

But what was it that he wanted to tell their fans, what was it that he wanted to tell the world with this song choice?

He left the dorm and went for a walk in the dark night. Headphones in, just walking through the city, and there underneath the stars a song came to him.

You woke up in the early mornings by his voice. And you smiled as you kept laying in bed, letting him wake you up with a song.

What are you trying to say? I’m not sure I understand

He sounded sad. Broken almost. You sat up in bed and hugged the pillows close to your body. Preparing yourself for what seemed could be a heartbreak. He almost never sang in English.

I try my best to be here But I’m victim to the moment When it grabs my feet And turns me upside down

There’s a vacancy Where my heart should be Can’t explain the feeling cause there’s none

All I need is for you to be patient, please You only need to give the faintest touch

Where does my mind go Something you always ask The place I never find

In and out of conversations Lose the sense of my location Feeding into my frustration

There’s a vacancy Where my heart should be Can’t explain the feeling cause there’s none

All I need is for you to be patient, please You only need to give the faintest touch

You grabbed your phone and searched for the lyrics. It was by a small artist. One you didn’t know. And as you read it, you realized he had changed the word mind to heart in the chorus.

He had a hole in his heart. And it was all because of you, he was losing hope. And why wouldn’t he? There was no indication that you were out there, looking for him. Trying to figure out who he was.

Something had to change.

There’s a vacancy Where my heart should be Can’t explain the feeling cause there’s none

He couldn’t explain it, but it felt like something had shifted. As if the world had changed overnight.

Sunghoon had always been positive, or at least he had tried to be. But now it was as if he had gotten a boost. He didn’t know how though.

After a week or so he had seeked out Namjoon, desperate to know if this could be because he had a feelings mark just like him.

Unfortunately the sudden boost in confidence didn’t come with a silk layer that wrapped his whole body so that couldn’t be it.

But whatever it was, whatever this meant, he knew it had to be something related to his mark. So he had a bounce in his step that he hadn’t had before.

Today was the day. The oldest of your little brothers were holding your hand, stroking it as he signed: “you don’t have to do this” 

You smiled at him. “Yes I do” 

He ran a hand through his hair. “You better come through, I can’t lose you” 

You looked at the younger ones and laughed quietly. “Don’t worry, I won’t leave you alone with them” 

He hugged you tightly before letting the rest of your family come to see you off. 

There was no way in hell you were gonna die today, but hopefully you’d come out the other side of this with your voice. 

As you finally woke from what felt like the deepest sleep you had ever had, your brother's hand was once again in yours. 

You smiled slightly. “Hi” you said, and it hurt and your voice was hoarse, but there was a sound. 

He laughed as the tears streamed down his face. “Hi you” he answered. 

Your oldest brother was only two years younger. But the rest had been small children when you lost your voice. Apart from your parents he was the only one who actually remembered it. He dried his eyes. 

“You better start. They’re out getting food so you have a few minutes” he pulled out his phone, ready to take a video of it all. As a memory, and as proof.

They were going through a new choreo, all a little hyped, all having a little too much fun. 

There was no music, just Niki going through the steps with them all. 

And out of the blue, he heard it. A horse voice, with a hint of a melody. 

A hum. 

Baby. 

He froze, and his eyes glazed over. 

Baby yeah, are you listening? 

He stepped back in complete shock, and his hands flew up to cover his mouth and that scream that threatened to be unleashed upon the world. 

Wondering, where you’ve been, all my life?  I just started living.  Oh, baby? Are you listening? 

He could hear the strain, he could hear how you pushed your vocal cords to get the words out, how you forced them to make a sound they hadn’t made for what felt like years. 

When you say you love me  Know I love you more  When you say you need me  Know I need you more  Boy, I adore you. 

The song fizzled out, as if you had lost the strength to keep going. But it didn’t matter. Because you were there, you weren’t a figment of his imagination. You were actually there. 

Sunghoon fell to his knees as the tears streamed, the rest of the guys had been over him the second he started acting differently than the second before. 

He had seen their worries glanced at one another, but he had focused on you and you alone. 

“She’s there, god she’s actually there” he said between his sobs as he desperately tried to dry his eyes. 

And with those words hell broke loose. There was laughter and hugs and screams and questions upon questions all asked at once. It was absolute chaos. But he didn’t mind, he didn’t care. Because he had a soulmate, and you had been there from the start

Your doctor had yelled at you for straining your voice so soon, for endangering the whole procedure for something so reckless as singing half a song. 

But why would you care, how could you care about anything other than him since he had finished said song a few minutes after you had been forced to stop. 

He was a much better singer than you that was certain. Well in the end you wouldn’t know before you had recovered. 

You smiled a little. Happy that he knew you were out here, but also a little sad that he wasn’t by your side. 

Now it was his turn, now he just had to find you. After all, you were in Seoul. 

All seven of them were told to leave, none of them were even remotely calm enough to get any work done. So they had taken two cars back to the dorm. They were so excited to tell the girls. 

The grin on his face hadn’t dropped at any point, and he kept humming little tunes. He had done a quick google search and there was no doubt, singing was your mark. 

Jake kept hovering over him, observing. “I’m fine Jake, okay? More than fine” Sunghoon said for the fourth time as the two of them waited on an elevator to take them to their floor. The rest had ran off as soon as the car door opened. 

Jake nodded. “I know man, but it’s good to see you like this. It looks like a burden have been lifted from your shoulders. 

He shrugged as a response and said: “It kind of has” 

“I’m happy for you” Jake said as he pulled him in for a hug. He felt him relax in his embrace as he released a deep breath. 

“Now let me go or I’m gonna start crying again” Jake laughed. 

As they stepped off the elevator they were met with Lil, Sunoo’s soulmate. 

“She’s here, she’s in Seoul” she said with a determined look, despite the large curious eyes that stared at him. 

“What?” Sunghoon said and his smile dropped. “How do you know?” he asked, as he put a hand on the elevator door, prohibiting it from closing. He was leaving as soon as he knew where you were. 

Lil gave him his phone, and right there laid a girl in a hospital bed. You were curled up in the white covers, chapped lips and a bandage on your neck. 

He felt his blood freeze to ice. What had happened to you. Lil only gestured to the phone with a look, and he turned on the sound. 

Right there was that broken voice he had heard a few hours ago. You were so weak, but you smiled as the tears ran down your cheeks. He saw how much you strained yourself, how much pain you were in just in this last desperate attempt to communicate with him. 

And then he saw you give up, completely drained for energy. You smiled at whoever was holding your camera and signed what the caption told you to be: “and now we wait” 

It took a minute or so, and then your shoulders moved. You were sobbing into your pillow, unable to hold back, he knew what had transpired right then and there. He had answered you, and he knew deep within his heart that what he was seeing was happy tears, but he hated every second that passed because he wasn’t there to comfort you. 

Then the video started again, and as much as he wanted to study your features, he would rather do that face to face. 

“How do I get in contact with her?” He asked desperately. His heart was beating faster than it ever had, he was slowly losing it. 

You needed him, and he needed to be there for you. 

“Hang on, I wrote her brother a message” there was complete silence in the hallway. No one said a word. 

“Hoon” Dovie’s voice cut through the silence and he looked up at her with piercing eyes, as if the sound of her voice would somehow wake him from this dream. 

She smiled softly. “Go take a shower, you stink” 

His cheeks flushed red. As he subtlety smelled himself. She wasn’t wrong. He removed his hands from the door of the elevator as he finally left it. Stepping into the dorm. 

“Well get the flowers” Jungwon said as he grabbed his soulmate's hand, they both rubbed his back as they passed him. 

“I’ll find the clothes” Jay said as he ruffled his hair. 

He was lost for words. 

“I’m on location duty!” Lil said as she threw herself on the couch. 

“Let’s get you cleaned up!” Jake said and pushed him towards the bathroom. 

Sunghoon knew he had never felt more loved than this. But he was about to.

It didn’t take long before your brother had replied to the message Lil had sent his way. Claiming she knew exactly who they were looking for. 

You had asked one simple question. The lyric to one of the songs he kept repeating over and over, but that she couldn’t find on the internet. One from their new comeback. 

Heeseung sent all the lines from every song and they were quickly accepted and the address and room number of the hospital was quickly sent their way. 

You were currently asleep and as per Sunghoon’s request your brother had promised not to wake you, or tell you. He didn’t want to stress you further. 

Jungwon had returned with a giant bouquet of mixed and colorful flowers. It was beautiful and larger than life. “Might as well wow her a little” was all he had said with a wink. 

And now here he was. In a car that was taking him to you. His leg bounced off the ground in pure nerves. He tried his best not to sing a little tune as he usually did when he was nervous, he would hate for him to be the reason you woke up. 

A kind soul showed him to the room, and as your brother looked up from his chair he almost fell off it. 

Sunghoon gave him a small wave. And as polite as he wanted to be he couldn't get his eyes to leave the figure buried under all those blankets. 

Your brother stood up, gesturing towards the chair that stood in front of you, and Sunghoon quickly moved past him. 

He heard the door click and something that sounded like: “did he just step off the set of a kdrama or what is going on?” 

Sunghoon smiled a little at the comment. He was happy he looked good, he wanted to. For you. 

He laid the flowers on the table beside you, and sat down.  

“You do know it’s impolite to stare, right brother?” you signed, not yet aware that the seat was now taken by someone else. 

He chuckled. “Sorry I don’t know ASL” he said in Korean, hopefully you understood him. 

Your eyes shot open and you looked at the beauty in front of you, he had a large smile painted on his lips, showing off those pointed teeth that somehow made him look so incredibly adorable. 

“You’re here” you whispered. You couldn’t help it but you moved back in the bed, and as if you were two magnets he moved closer, capturing your hand in his. 

“Shhh” he said as he intertwined his fingers with yours. “Just breathe” it was easier said than done, for him as well, the mere touch of your skin sent bolts of electricity through his body. 

And then you sobbed for the second time that day, but this time, this time he was here to comfort you. Without even giving it a second thought he removed his jacket and slid into the space you had made in the bed. 

He pulled you into his chest and wrapped his arms around you. Stroking both your hair and your back. 

You smelled amazing, even though he knew the hospital had washed away most of it, there was still an underlying hint of vanilla in your hair that drove him crazy. 

“Just cry little one, I’m right here” 

So you did, you cried and you cried and for the first time in almost a decade it actually made a sound. Not a very charming one, but a sound nonetheless. 

Sunghoon started humming the most calming song he could think of, and felt how your breathing stilled slowly. He smiled to himself and pulled you even closer as he kissed the top of your head. You fit perfectly there in his arms. 

“I’m so so glad you did what you did. But if you ever do anything as reckless again, I’ll absolutely lose it, okay?” 

You laughed as you tried to dry off your tears but without success. “Sorry, I missed you too much and decided I didn’t wanna wait anymore” you looked up at him and he instead dried your eyes for you. 

“As thankful as I am, your safety trumps everything else. Never forget that” he said before kissing your forehead. 

“You got it” you said as you pulled him closer to you. “Your voice is amazing by the way” 

You felt him chuckling beneath you. “I sure hope so” 

Despite him not being able to see it, you raised a brow, and as if he could read your mind he continued. “It is my profession, which also means my very kind members and all their soulmates will be here in approximately 30 minutes with more flowers and a shit load of embarrassing stories. So we better get going” he tried getting up but you pulled him right back. 

“You do know I’m literally being observed, right?” 

He rolled his eyes. “Obviously, but no soulmate of mine is gonna be laying in a rock hard bed with itchy bedding. I got you an upgrade” he shrugged as if it was nothing, and you supposed when you were some type of famous it might actually have been nothing. A single phone call? Would he even have to pay for it? Who knew, but you sure as hell wasn’t gonna turn down the offer. 

“Say that again” you said before pulling him closer to you by the neck. 

“My soulmate” he whispered back and you saw the tears flooding his eyes. They looked like sparkling amber in this light. 

“I’ve missed you so much” he said as he rested his forehead against yours. Your hand laid on his cheek as you caressed it and he prayed with every bone in his body that this wasn’t yet another dream he would wake from soon. 

“And I’ve missed you” you said before kissing his nose. “I love you so much” 

He pulled you closer and finally claimed your lips with his own. He was so soft and tender, as if you were the most precious treasure in the world. And to him that was exactly what you were. 

“I love you more, little one” 

I cant belive it’s finally here 😭 i really hope you’ve all enjoyed this series as much as I have - i dont have words to express my gratitude. But thank you all for following along.

I’m gonna open up if you have any questions about how each of these boys would handle different situations with their soulmates, please send them in an ask and I’ll make a little something out of it if I feel inspired 🫶🏼

Love you all

⁺ taglist: @why4anne @juicygirl4life @azzy02 @bluxjun @why-did-i-just-do-this @elairah @ramyeonzwithspam @floating-moon-dust @skyearby @acourtofmoonlightandstars @garrdenwonie @whateveridontcaresheesh @stormy1408 @tunafishyfishylike @sol3chu @spicxbnny @blvengene @fics-lovebot @fangirl125reader @acopenhagenarmy @tunafishyfishylike @lveegsoi @1-itsneverthatserious-1

[shegetsburned]

❝ the duke’s proposal ❞ w. satoru gojo 𝜗𝜚.

BRIDGERTON AU⌇

• — dearest gentle readers. the time has come for us to place our bets for the upcoming social season! marriage-minded mamas must consider the oldest of the gojo’s family thrilled to conquer hearts with his wits and undeniable charm. having officially announced his wish to find a bride, we certainly hope to see the young rake, on the dance floor, turn the tides and find a wife after much seasons of avoiding his duty. may the best lady win! • — a/n. i know @grumpchua asked for this and i believe it will feed some of y’all, so here’s the food <3

.nsfw.

₊˚ପ⊹ duke!gojo who you’ve known ever since your debut and has been a inconvenience in your life for quite a while. like a tick biting into your flesh, only bringing trouble and worry for yourself. truth is, the duke loved pestering you about failed courting attempts or clumsy men coming to steal your hand, only to fall with them into a life of misery and depths. you undoubtedly did not attract the smartest and wealthiest of them all and satoru took advantage of this unwanted success.

₊˚ପ⊹ duke!gojo who’s audacious. far from being a gentleman. the cockiest of all rakes. you did not only despise the man, you thought he was without honour, unromantic and arrogant. lord satoru was, in fact, everything you thought he was, but loved to show you personally every single one of his flaws.

₊˚ପ⊹ duke!gojo who, despite your best efforts, thought no better but to follow you around at every ball and "unexpectedly" bump into you at the market or when you walked out of the modiste. lord gojo was high in the instep, purposely shoving his strength of character and title in unfortunate suitors’ faces every time they deemed to approach you. needless to say, he took pleasure in crushing your chances of ever securing a proposal.

₊˚ପ⊹ duke!gojo who has never really shown any interest in you, before. he would rather amuse himself by courting pretty debutantes only to leave them hanging and being chased by the impatient mamas of the ton. that was until his status caught up to him and forced the man to consider a serious marriage proposal. unfortunately for you, an idea blossomed into the young rake’s mind when he realized his need to find a bride was more urgent than he hoped to be.

₊˚ପ⊹ duke!gojo who, one evening, during a tranquil promenade, abruptly stops and steals you from your mama, offering his hand for you to finish your walk beside him. he obviously had a plan and it involved the lady that despised him the most in this entire ton: you— and who would be better than you to not catch feelings and be able to execute his plan perfectly?

₊˚ପ⊹ duke!gojo who proposes an alliance. knowing you only attract the worst suitors possible, he assures you that more eligible men will throw themselves at your feet when they see the famous duke gojo court you. he swears it’ll only be temporary until he can find a suitable bride of his own without hundreds of ladies begging for his attention when you’re wrapped around his arm. you’ll be found desirable and he’ll have the peace he desires. what could possibly go wrong?

₊˚ପ⊹ duke!gojo who, for the first days, tries harder than any other years you’ve known him. the first day, your carriage’s waiting downstairs to meet him in the parc. he’s holding your umbrella above your head the whole time and acting like quite the gentleman, for once. he laughs with you, readjusts your hair and takes care of every single one of your needs. this masquerade goes on for two weeks where, each day, he surprises you with gorgeous flowers, kind gestures and words you would’ve never thought to hear. until one night, it’s an invite to his mansion that’s waiting for you, which you accept thinking it’ll just be another public appearance with him by your side. oh, but you couldn’t have been more wrong.

₊˚ପ⊹ duke!gojo who welcomes you in his home, one gentle hand resting against the back of your corset to escort you to the ballroom where people were gathered and seemed to be enjoying their evening. everything would’ve seemed in order if not for the many men eyeing you from across the room. it seemed odd now, considering you hadn’t had this kind of attention for weeks, but it also seemed like satoru’s plan had worked and you couldn’t be more satisfied.

₊˚ପ⊹ duke!gojo who listens to you converse with one of the gentlemen who had introduced himself to you. he seemed kind, polite, educated and of high status, which couldn’t have been more perfect if it hadn’t been for the duke terminating the conversation with a harsh remark and by guiding you to the dance floor without even writing his name on the card around your wrist. he had lost his temper in a matter of seconds and you were more than surprised by his lack of manners.

₊˚ପ⊹ duke!gojo who tries to convince you to play along but you know this is entirely about something else. his grip around your waist and hand has never been so tight. he’s pulling you closer until his breath tickles your face and his words are whispers when he reminds you that your deal isn’t over and you’ll have to wait until you are allowed to let yourself be courted by other men. you try to respond but he spins you around gracefully. his fingers trail your column when he catches you and before you know it, you’re dancing with him and no one else is in the room.

₊˚ପ⊹ duke!gojo whose deep gaze startles you. he hasn’t left your eyes and does not plan to until he gets a proper response from you. satoru’s piercing blue eyes linger on your lips with a cocky smirk and you don’t know why your heart is beating so fast. he had never shown this facet of his before and it made your chest flutter. would he have preferred your attention was entirely on him, this evening, and not on the handsome suitor that had caught yours? no. you hated him. he was tricking you to make it seem real.. right?

₊˚ପ⊹ duke!gojo whose tension is enough to fill the room with curious whispers surrounding your odd pair. you two made it seem like you had shared more than simple dinners and promises. in front of everyone, you looked used to being so intimate with satoru, but you were trembling in your shoes when he leaned forward, grazing his lips against your ear to try and make you understand that he wouldn’t allow any suitors to approach you just yet.

₊˚ପ⊹ duke!gojo who pulls you away from the crowd, stealing you away to his bedchamber in front of indiscreet pairs of eyes. he seems more impatient than ever when his instinct takes over and, god, your innocence has an unexpected hold on him. you question satoru with incomprehension in your eyes until he finally closes the door to answer you.

₊˚ପ⊹ duke!gojo who skillfully shows you everything you’ve been missing and every little sinful activity he’s been partaking in with innocent debutantes such as yourself. only this time, he means it. his hands touch every sensitive spot, his lips cover yours and trail down to your exposed chest. his fingers slipped under your dress, letting him discover your body with your help as you take him in, whining at his insensitive touch.

you’ll never know, that night, if duke satoru gojo meant to lose his mind over you in front of everyone else for his scheme and personal gain or if it had been purely accidental and you had just mesmerized the rake in a matter of weeks to the point where he couldn’t think about anything else but to have you in his bed for the rest of his life.

© shegetsburned 2024 please do not repost/edit/or claim my writing as your own.

[n3ptoonz]

'Pretty Girl'

Pairing: Criminal!Stucky/Avenger!Reader

Fandom: MCU - AU

Warnings/tags: Smut; Explicit!!, porn with plot kinda?, 3some - bi kings!!!, WEED, fucking while high, Tony mentioned (i'm really going with this mcu bit okay?), dry humping, EIFFEL TOWER/spitroast, Steve is kind of smug dickhead but it's hot trust, small dirty talk, did i mention weed?? i had to slut y'all out i'm not sorry - but i didn't make y'all a punk like other authors be doing, various pet names used, kinda proofread

first of all, this was not going to get second part until someone on ao3 suggested it and no kidding this exact idea wouldn't stop playing in my head until i started writing and ummm i got carried away!! yall dont understand, i haven't written a threesome since 2022 LOL so um i hope this is good and not cringe!

this is a second part to "Atta Girl" and only kind of related to it, reading it is optional. this part is not a direct continuation.

side note, i watched "the gray man" yesterday bc i was looking for a version of chris that looked like a criminal and now here we are.

Word count: 3.4k+... oops.

It had been a month and a half since you'd last seen or spoken to Bucky. You were too busy, out in the world trying to keep it together with your team. It wasn't out of the norm that Bucky didn't hit you up first. You never asked why. You never really cared. It was simple. A win-win situation that was a silent compromise between you two.

Though, while on a mission in Romania last week, you couldn't stop thinking about that day. Not only the passionate night that left you breathless and unlike yourself but also that he swore he'd "take care" of whatever was going on with Steve. How was he going to handle one of his best friends getting caught on camera killing innocent people? It worried you. His connections were deemed endless from the jump and you even knew that going on.

You walked through the compound still in your day clothes as you passed Tony towards the elevator. He stopped you midway like a suspicious dad.

"And where are you going?" he asked with narrowed eyes and crossed his arms. "It's getting dark out."

"Out. I'm grown, Tony."

"Not the point. You've seen what's been going on around here. I don't need you getting into some shit while doing whatever it is you kids do."

Your face contorted into pure confusion. "Tony," you said, "I am 3 years younger than you."

"Yeah, well you add another ten and it feels more accurate."

"Okay- Hey, I get that you're on edge because of this Rogers guy but, seriously, I will be okay. I should be back by like..." you paused and tried to do some math in your head.

"The morning?" he finished your sentence for you and popped a snack in his mouth. He smiled briefly when you rolled your eyes. "Don't let me stop you. Oh and, by the way, totally not against self medicating, however, you stink up these halls again with that 'medication' and you're benched. Copy?"

Tony stopped chewing and gave you a look. The look you always give him shit for but he wasn't in the wrong here. He's right. If you were going to indulge in... whatever this is with the enemy, you had to do a better job keeping it under wraps before more questions arise. You sighed softly through your nose and nodded.

"Copy." you said. Tony kept his eye on you before he turned back to his holographic blueprints. You took that as being dismissed so you went on towards the elevator again.

As the October chill crept through your leather jacket on the way to your car, your stomach burned and twisted. You hated that you always got this feeling knowing this was all by choice. Nobody forced you to start fucking a gang leader. Especially one that knew someone like Rogers.

But hey, at the end of the day he's just a craving. Not like you two are dating or married. He can do what he wants and you can do what you want. Win-win.

"Yo," the sound of two snaps made your eyes refocus. You looked up and saw smoke waft around the shabby living room. You'd been laying in Bucky's lap, zoning in and out the past few minutes about any and everything. "Grass got you fucked up already, huh?"

You blinked. At least you thought you did. Your body felt a little heavier and your chest felt hollow, making your brows furrow like you caught half his question.

"Different strand." he continued, bringing the joint to his lips and taking a longer drag as it filled his lungs. He blew out slowly and made a few O's with his lips. You chuckled and shook your head.

"Didn't know weed could make me feel heavy and light at the same time." you mumbled. The AC pumped throughout the place but you usually ran hot under the influence. Bucky convinced you that stripping half naked wouldn't immediately lead to fucking--this time--so you laid there: half naked and feet kicked up on the couch arm rest. T-shirt and panties. He was shirtless but in gray sweats. What a coincidence. Bucky hummed in response to you while tapping the ash in a nearby tray.

"Saw you on TV last week," he said. His tone was teasing but gravelly and deep. A typical thing from him whenever he was high. "Little miss hero." he added with a laugh and a short cough from the gas. You playfully swatted his chest and took the joint from him to take your own puff.

"Shut the fuck up," you scolded and blew out. Your voice held no real qualms with him. "God forbid people save the world."

Bucky smacked his lips and shortly puckered them in thought. "Nothin' wrong with that, beautiful," he said, taking the joint from you after your second puff. "Looked real fuckable in that suit."

You groaned and sat up, curling up next to him with your knees under you and your elbow on the back of the couch. "You suck at genuine compliments." you said while taking the joint back. You hit it and crawled into his lap, watching his pupils dilate. When you blew the smoke into his face, he smiled and pulled you closer. His calloused palms rubbing your thighs like a balm.

"I can't tell a pretty girl that she's pretty?" he asked. Those crystal blue irises at attention and his frown lines nowhere to be found. You took the last bump and put out the joint, grabbing his jaw with your left hand and kissing him. The smoke you held in your mouth flowed into his and some of it came out the corners of both your lips. When you backed up about an inch from his face his hands squeezed your thighs.

"You said I was fuckable." you whispered, lifting your hips and grinding back down into his lap. He groaned and slid his hands slowly up to your hips.

"What's the difference?" he whispered back. You gave him a look and he gave a dopey smile. "Cool off, I'm just messin-"

You kissed him again and rolled your hips in his lap. Bucky was slightly caught off guard but he quickly recovered. It's been a while since you've actually been able to hang out like this. Chill, smoke. Green out for a bit before getting right to business. He grunted against your lips and eased you into dry humping him. His hands were gentle and he didn't buck up into you with full force. He fucking loved the way you felt against him. You moaned into his mouth and dragged your heat against his firm thigh.

Words seldom needed to be said when you two engaged like this. That night was just one of those nights. A quick fuck. Or two. Just a need for release but this wasn't that. Not exactly.

Your hands slid around to the back of his neck as he slipped his under your shirt to unclip your bra with ease, bringing the straps down your shoulders and pulling it off from the front. You picked up the pace just a little in desperate need of more friction. This took time and you loved it.

"Bucky," you pulled away and whined. Your head fell to the crook of his neck the more he guided you.

"Mhm...Say my name, gorgeous," he said as he kneaded your thighs. "Who makes you feel this good?"

"You do," you muttered. High and horny out of your god damned mind. "Bucky-"

"Oh, shit," a voice called out from behind you. You jerked upwards and looked over your shoulder with wide eyes. "Bucky, you could've told me you had company."

You scrambled to get off of his lap and covered yourself with a couch pillow. You hadn't felt this alert since a month and a half ago. Rubbing your eyes with your arm you got a good look of the man standing across the room. So casual and...smug as shit.

"Rogers?" you blurted out. Bucky cleared his throat and stood up, gently grabbing your arm.

"Let's not get crazy here-"

You yanked your arm away from him and threw the pillow back down into the couch.

"Are you- Is this a joke?" you exclaimed. Almost sure this blew your high. "I'm taking you in." you pointed at Steve and looked for your phone.

"Damn. And here I thought we had something special." he quipped with a dry laugh. Bucky gave him a 'Really?' look and Steve put his hands up. Bucky said your name while you frantically looked for your phone, completely ignoring the moisture between your legs and surely the dark gray patch on Bucky's thigh, which Steve definitely noted.

"Can you- hey," he grabbed both your forearms and made you look at him. "I told you I would take care of it." he said slowly. Your brows pinched together, perplexed.

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

He let you go and you backed away from him, ending up standing between them with your back to Steve.

"Bucky," you continued. "What are you talking about?" you repeated. The high was slowly creeping up on you again but you fought it well enough to get your question answered.

"Rogers was framed." he simply said. "And I got the footage removed. Scraped from existence."

You paused. "The fuck do you mean framed? He's on camera!"

"Deepfake, sweetheart." he said and took a step closer. You took a step backward with narrowed eyes. "Somebody is after us and tried to make it look like he had something to do with that robbery upstate. Been trying to get that shit taken care of for a while now."

You tilted your head and folded your arms. The math just wasn't right.

"How long is a while?" you asked.

"Shit, uh... when was the last time you were here?" he asked. His question wasn't genuine because he was fully aware of how long ago that was. You sighed heavily and pinched your nose bridge. The biggest thing was you knew is Bucky wasn't a liar. He wasn't honest in what he did but he had no reason to bullshit you...usually.

"So you knew the whole time he was framed," you said.

"Yeah." he said. You lifted your head with an unamused look.

"Even when I drove my ass down here and asked you about it?"

"Yeah." he answered the same way with a stupid smile on his face.

You scoffed and looked around the room in disbelief.

"Why did you lie?"

Bucky hummed as he "thought" about it, finally shrugging and scratching his beard.

"Cause I'm an asshole." he replied, making Steve fail to hold a laugh behind you. You stared at him as you stood there, feeling like an idiot. A total moron. All this time you've been feeling guilty and pondered late at night for no good reason. Had you out here chasing bullshit leads.

You wanted to cuss him out, throw your clothes back on and take care of this hot and heavy problem back at your quarters. You didn't even know where to start. When you started to speak, you felt a pair of warm arms wrap around your waist. You flinched and tensed, but didn't push him off.

"I gotta tell ya," Steve spoke in a thick Brooklyn accent as he rested his chin on your shoulder and held you close like you were familiar. Like he knew you. Your body. "When Buck said he knew you I thought he was talking out his ass but...you're real deal. I respect it."

Bucky smirked when Steve started kissing your neck and jaw. You visibly started to melt in his arms and even looked like his mustache was tickling you. Really, how could you protest when you had these fine ass men around you? The weed started to kick back in...and so did that horny.

"Damn it, Steve. You really know how to make a guy jealous." Bucky said as he walked towards you. Your eyes fluttered the closer he got, trying to focus with Steve's hard-on rubbing against your ass. Steve laughed softly and pulled back from your neck for just a moment. Then you heard the sound of kissing right by your ear. You slowly blinked and touched your lips, looking to your left. Eyes widening as you see them making out.

"Oh my god," you whispered. That heartbeat pulsating between your thighs getting heavier. They pulled away and looked at you. Steve's arms still wrapped around you.

"Hey, Buck," he started, his hands finding your hips. "You don't mind sharing me, right?"

"What the hell is happening," you said under your breath. You never would've guessed Bucky was bisexual but you had zero issue with it. You just wondered though... what were they? It had to be something a little deeper than you two, right?

"Not at all." he said. "I got my two favorite people right in front of me. Both very hot and very fuckable. Got a pre-roll over there so I intend to have some fun."

Steve's hand slipped into your panties without warning. Your thighs tightened around his hand but he was quicker, feeling the pool you called a vagina.

"I like her." he purred. You whimpered and arched against him. One second you seized the moment, not playing around. Yet, now, you were like a cat in heat to the very man you despised 24 hours ago. Steve brought his hand up to present it to the three of you before putting his index finger in Bucky's mouth. He sucked your slick off it with a wet pop. Then he sucked his own finger, the middle, with a low "mm mm mm" coming from him.

"Didn't know this is what he meant when he said you were sweet," he said, watching you stare at his ring finger still coated, but drying in the cold air conditioned room. He snaked his free arm around you tighter and held his finger up to your lips. You slowly parted them with curiosity in your eyes and wrapped your lips around his finger. He was right, you were sweet. Both men widely grinned at you and that familiar burn ignited in your stomach again.

This is going to be a long night.

Steve held your back down, pressing you into the kitchen counter as he took a few hits. You were stuffed almost full of him--one inch out--because he couldn't fit all the way. Your cheek against the cool marble as he let you adjust to his size. You could barely register the casual conversation going on between the two. A part of Bucky reveled in how you responded to Steve. Your body never lied.

Your whimpers and gasps and shallow breaths while putting on a brave face made both of them smile.

"Go easy on her, will ya?" he said to Steve. "It's her second hit of this new shit. Surprised she isn't conked out."

Steve passed it to him and blew in the other direction. "You never complained." he said, quite arrogantly too.

Bucky rolled his eyes and took his hit. "That's cause I never let you top."

"Now that I'm seeing what it does...I don't blame you." he laughed and felt your walls clutching him.

"You can move now." you said. It came out a little slurred but he put the piece together. Steve's palms glided down your hips. Like Bucky's. He remembered the things he said you like and carried them with him like a treasure. He never thought he'd see the day he actually got to have you like this.

Steve pulled back slowly and thrusted his hips, earning a hiss from you and clawing at nothing on the counter. His pace was slow and steady. He cursed under his breath in pleasure and genuine disbelief.

"Can't believe she's letting me in so easily," he said. To who, it didn't matter. Meanwhile, your legs were tingling and your abdomen tightened, quickly losing grip on reality. "S'big, ain't it?" he added with a soft grin. His hands moved from your hips to your torso to lift you up so your back was to his chest. You saw Bucky palm himself and join you two. He didn't do anything at first. Just watched.

Steve started to fuck you faster. Hands clinging onto your lower ribs and using you like a doll. Bucky's eyes never moved from yours but you definitely were not paying attention.

"Bucky," you stuttered out. Breasts bouncing behind your shirt as you held onto Steve's wrist behind you. He blew smoke in your face before giving you a peck on the lips.

"He fuck you like I do?" he whispered. Steve heard him but didn't stop and kept chasing his climax. Your breath hot against Bucky's face as he stood there an inch away from your face. You wanted to mishear the question but your brain was scrambled like shit right now.

"No," you shook your head and struggled to keep your eyes open. He only laughed and smirked.

"I'm not gonna get mad if you say yes." he said. "I was kinda hoping he was better."

"You're gonna confuse the girl, Buck," Steve said breathlessly, like he wasn't the president of Poundtown™︎ right now. "And I'm definitely a better fuck than you." he added.

Bucky flipped him off and burned out the joint before pulling his pants down slightly. He stroked himself and didn't miss how your eyes flickered and your mouth watered.

"Bend her over, Steve," he said as he took a step back. The other sighed dramatically but did so nonetheless.

"You're lucky I like you." Steve grumbled as his hips came to a halt. "Hurry up."

Bucky slapped it on your tongue then filled the rest of your mouth. Steve didn't even wait for him before he started thrusting again. Bucky scoffed at him but couldn't hide his smile.

"You are so fuckin' greedy," he said as he thrusted into your mouth at a similar pace. His hand rested on the back of your head while the other held yours for balance. You were close. Very close. You don't think you've ever been this turned on in your life, let alone had a damn threesome. A threesome with criminals too?!

Your growing moans sent vibrations down his shaft. He licked his lips and kept thrusting.

"And you are so fuckin' hot when you're jealous." Steve said. His teeth gritting as he was about to cum. Luckily Bucky was on the way there too just from watching you both. Cumming untouched wouldn't have been crazy at that point.

"I'm not jealous." he said, the sound of your muffled noises falling on his ears was nothing new. He grunted and fucked your mouth a few more times before he came down your throat. Holding your head there with his tilted back. "Fuckkk," he sighed with his eyes closed.

You and Steve came at the same time. He just barely pulled out on his own but you were so slippery in kind of just happened. Part of him didn't want to but the more rational part won. He shot warm white ropes on the back of your thighs as he caught his breath. Sweat sheened over his glistening, bare tatted chest. His irregular breathing steadily coming back to normal.

Steve looked down at the clear liquid dripping from you mixing with his own fluids with a content expression. Bucky pulled out and crouched in front of you after pulling his pants back up. Steve followed after him. You. Were. Fucked. They helped you stand up straight and you slumped against Bucky's chest.

"Is she sleep?" Steve asked and started to clean up the mess on the floor. You mumbled something indistinct and wrapped your arms around the brunette. Bucky rubbed your back and laughed.

"Within the next minute. Tops." he said in a quieter tone. Steve threw the paper towel in the trash after wiping you down and helped you back into your underwear. His tone a lot softer and less smug. When he patted your hip he went back to the living room and plopped down on the couch. Bucky picked you up bridal style and sat you in the middle of them. Your head on his shoulder and your legs draping over Steve's lap.

And within the next minute, just like he said, you were out like a light.

[letorip]

casual [ii]

"is it casual now? i know what you tell your friends, it's casual, if it's casual now"

===+++===

pairing: natalie scatorccio x reader

summary: you keep telling yourself it's casual, but it still manages to bother you so much when you realise nat is ducking you.

warnings: explicit sexual content, SMUT (nat recieving), drug use, alcohol consumption, mostly set up chapter, 'i love you' but in a sad way :(

word count: 7.7k

A/N: there will ALREADY BE A PART 3 FINALE ON THE WAY. amount of research i did on US schooling, US version of Windolene, and the 1996 US Presidential Election should be criminal.

***also to be clear because i know i was kind of confusing about it last time, Nat’s father is still alive, this is a no crash au, and there’s still about a week left to go to nationals, Lottie’s party is NOT the night before, for the sake of my sanity

===+++===

===+++===

Dinner that night exceeded your expectations by far, or at least in terms of awkwardness. It laced the air in thick wafts that made you shift in your chair from time to time, out of need of something to do.

"So Julie," your mother said. She raised her glass with a distinguished elegance and sipped her wine. "I heard that last year you went to the state science fair." She said it with a glance at you over the lip and dramatic overemphasis, as if she expected you to stand and applaud. “You won first place?”

You took the hint and sent Julie a smile fixed in place, and then one down to her parents at the other end. These sort of set ups went better when you appeared to give them a good try. "Oh really?"

"I did!” The smile she had worn all night widened, veneers a crisp white colour that looked like the blank walls of a dentist’s office. “It was a project on sea turtles. My dad flew us out to Barbados to work with a research team.” If Julie had said any more on her project, you could not hear it.

There was a beautiful oil painting right behind her on the wall, in a thick copper frame that glinted in the dining room light. The portrait had hung there since you were a child, but from that angle it had felt mundane. A random portrait of a random woman your father had bought on a random business trip. Now, it was impossible for you to see the soft, beautiful blues of the woman's eyes and not think of Natalie's.

Perhaps that was karma. The conversation with Nat still hung over your thoughts in an ever-present guilt, and the longer you thought about it, the less you thought you liked yourself. Not that there was much to be done about that, of course.

A silence filled the room and you looked back to Julie, who stared at you with a blank expression. You glanced around the table, only to find everyone else’s eyes on you too. Shit.

“Sorry, what was the question?” you flushed. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Lottie stifle a laugh, and your father’s gaze down at the other end. His disapproval was thick in his eyebrows, and you rubbed the back of your neck, sheepish.

Julie continued to beam at you, and you shifted in your seat. “I was wondering if you also liked science.”

“Oh. I don’t really love—,” before you could finish, your mom took it away, interrupting and reaching over the table to clasp Julie’s hand in her own.

“Of course! (Y/n) here is the president of Science Honours Society at Wiskayok. Don’t let the bruises fool you, (Y/n) is a giant studier and scholar.” Ah, the bruises.

Your mom had freaked the hell out when she saw you, just as you knew she would. Her immediate reaction had been to cover them with concealer, and then she had almost cried when you could still see the purple and red skin underneath.

“(Y/n)’s also a giant nerd,” Bobby said. “Know-it-all, more like,” he corrected with a laugh, leaning towards her as if trying to steal the show. You wouldn’t have stopped him, if he was. He had mentioned finding her pretty, not that she seemed to be interested in him. Your other cousin, Trent, knocked him on the side of the head, before he went back to his food.

“Robert,” your father chided, before turning to Julie and her parents himself. “(Y/n) here will be Valedictorian, at the end of the year. Academics are important to us, and I assure you, science is part of that.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful!” Mrs. Roosevelt said. “Do you know where you’re going to college yet?”

You shrugged, eyes on your plate. “Either Brown or Princeton.”

Your mom clasped her hands together, excited. “Mr. (L/n) and his mother and father, and his mother and father before him and so on, all went to and fell in love at Princeton. We donate money every year. And then, well, there’s Brown or Columbia, as options.”

“I was considering Princeton, too,” Julie said. “Of course, we have ties to Harvard as a family, but Princeton always piqued my interest.” At that, you hid what would’ve been a snort behind a cheeky smile. Nat’s ‘fuckin’ rich people,’ played back in your mind in a memory of the warm afternoon you had just spent in her bed. “We could meet at Princeton, right? Like your grandparents?”

You blinked, unable to compute the rather forward question into your brain along with the warmth you could feel spread out on your cheeks. Lottie watched you again, fork half in her mouth, amused and entertained beyond belief. But Julie Roosevelt, as nice as she was, wouldn’t be the one for you.

You cleared your throat, mustering an apologetic smile. “Um…yeah, it would be great to have other friends there.”

“Right…friends," said Julie, staring at you blankly. You didn’t need to look at her, to feel your mother’s disappointment. Bobby and Trent were staring, too. Lottie had her eyes on her food.

"So, did anyone ask Reginald what dessert tonight will be?" your father asked. He didn't look in your direction. You were grateful for it. He was usually the one to bridge the gap, and you had missed him when he was in Tokyo.

"I do believe he said it would be cheesecake," your mother replied. She turned her fork over in her salad, considerably less vibrant than before.

Trent nodded, sipping his water. "That'll be good." He turned to your father with a chuckle. "Did you hear that Buchanan's stepped down from the bid for president?" At that point you let the conversation go on around you, but were all too content to sit back and just observe.

===+++===

"(Y/N)!" a faint voice came into your bathroom. You blinked.

“Yeah?” But there was no reply. At least, not for a minute.

"(Y/N), GET DOWN HERE, NOW!"

You paused in front of the bathroom mirror. The toothbrush still hung from your mouth, and you furrowed your eyebrows, painfully so with the bruise on your eye, questioning if what you were hearing was real. It was all too early in the morning, for you to be running late.

"(Y/N), I'M NOT KIDDING AROUND, DAMMIT!" Your father yelled, and now you were sure you were awake. You furrowed your eyebrows at the anger in his voice and plugged your electric toothbrush into its holder, before sliding on your slippers and opening your door.

There was a whole bunch of commotion going on in the foyer below, and while your mom had held her tongue about Julie the night before, it didn't make sense for your father to be this angry you had turned her down, right? You ran your hand through your bedhead, in an halfhearted attempt to first xit as you still groggily came down the long set of stairs.

"What?" you asked. Your dad had his back to you, talking with Reginald, and Maribel was crying in the corner with a bottle of windex in her hands, but he spun around the moment he heard your voice.

"Don't 'what' me. Go look outside. Right now." His face was all red when he said it, like a scary tomato, and it somewhat snapped you out of your sleepy daze.

The front door was wide open, and there was a gardener who wasn't usually there until later, walking right on in with a wad of toilet paper in his hand. You blinked, then half-stumbled through your door and out onto the driveway.

Fucking hell.

Even from far away, you could smell the rotted eggs, splattered onto the windows of your house and dripping down the sides in clumps. They were everywhere, coating parts of your driveway and sitting in hedges. What was the worst was the white Rolls Royce your father had just bought, which had egg yolks covering the windshield and all along the fresh paint job from where it sat under the awning. Behind it, right on the garage door in spray-painted red letters was 'fuck you.'

Where there weren't eggs, there were reams and reams of toilet paper, strung from the red oaks and trimmed hedges. One or two rolls had unfurled down the length of your driveway entirely, reaching all the way to the end like some sort of demented breadcrumb trail for Reginald, who had apparently discovered the mess when he pulled into work and up the drive that morning.

Your father followed you out, his hands on his hips and a scowl on his face. "Do you, at all, happen to know why my lawn looks like this?" he demanded.

You swallowed. "No, I'm sorry.”

“You’re sorry? What the hell am I going to do with sorry?”

“It must just be someone from the high school pranking me." It wasn't. It didn't take a genius to make a guess, though. Nat had been pissed, but you didn’t think it would be this pissed.

"Well, whoever it was had access to our neighbourhood gate, (Y/n).” Your father pointed an angry finger at you, poking you harshly in the chest. “You didn't give the code to anyone, did you? We told you not to, unless it was approved by me or your mother."

You stared down at the ground. You were still in your slippers and silk pyjamas. "No, I promise dad, I didn't. I don't know how they got in."

His gaze was still heavy for a moment, eyes and eyebrows thick and heavy, as he scanned your face for the traces of a lie. He didn't find one, and when he didn't, he turned to Reginald, who stood in the doorway behind him, with a sigh.

"Can you pull the old Jaguar from the motor court? We'll need this cleaned up by the time I'm back for work."

Reginald nodded. "Right away, sir."

"Good," he said, and then he turned to you. "And you. I'll be changing our gate code as soon as possible. No giving it out. Your friends are lucky nothing was damaged— we'll sue no question."

"Yes sir," you said, keeping your eyes down.

"Good. Go get ready for school. Don't mention this to anyone."

"Yes sir." You couldn't get back inside fast enough, practically jogging in your slippers and up the stairs. You got about halfway up, before your mother called out to you.

"(Y/n), is that you?"

You froze, considering for a moment just going up like you hadn't heard her. You didn't get the chance though.

"Come down here."

"Yes mother." You turned back around, heading down to where she sat in the formal living room. It was closest to the door, and she must've been watching through the front window. In her left hand was a familiar bottle of wine, and she reeked of its contents. She didn't look too pleased, but with her it was more of a morning thing than the egging.

"Are you going to say good morning to me, darling?"

You nodded. "Sorry. Good morning, mother."

"There you go. Your eye still looks dreadful." Ah, the bruises.

Your mom lost her ever-loving mind when she saw you, just as you knew she would. Her immediate reaction had been to cover them with concealer, and then she had almost cried when you could still see the purple and red skin underneath and the Roosevelts would be arriving any minute.

It was a bit funny that your bloody nose was still visible, in a morbid way, but you knew better than to laugh about it in front of her, and moving your face still hurt in places. Lottie— who watched from atop the bathroom counter— laughed for the both of you instead, which earned her a shriek from your mother.

"It's going to, for the next few weeks. That's what Misty said."

She huffed. "Well, Julie was a disappointment, and we need you to get back out there, if you're going to have a date for prom. Your father and I can't have you going alone."

"I might not be going to prom," you replied, messing with the collar of your pyjama shirt. "The Yellowjackets might be going to nationals, remember? I have to go."

"Yes, well, at least get a date just in case. Everyone else in the neighbourhood will, and we can’t have you alone.”

“Lottie would also be alone.”

“Well I’m not Lottie’s parents now am I?”

“No.”

“Right, I’m not. Now, don’t cut my head off for this, but are you sure you like girls?" You glared and she waved you off. "Don't look at me like that, I just mean you're not having very much success with girls, is all. It's 1996, your father and I are very forward-thinking.”

It took all your energy not to laugh. If they wanted to believe they were forward thinking, you'd let them. The same could be said for success with girls. Instead, you shrugged. "All the girls you've picked are just so boring. There isn't a spark."

Your mother rolled her eyes. "There doesn't always have to be one. For me and your father, there wasn't. We met and then slowly worked towards a love. That instant-love stuff is for children who've seen too many Disney movies, and those soppy Democrats."

"Maybe spark was the wrong word, mother— I don't even feel a connection. They’re super ‘meh’ and stuff."

"Don’t say ‘and stuff’ you make yourself sound stupid. These girls are all from great families, (Y/n). I'm sure there are kids at your school who would love a chance to talk to Julie, or Margot or Sloane— god Sloane is in high demand. I think it's the cheerleading."

“Mother.”

“Yes— sorry. Go fix your hair, you look unkempt. And think about it. Julie wasn’t too bad, she made that joke about forks. Funny.” It hadn’t been.

“Yes mother,” you said, and you stalked away and back up the stairs without another word. You were already running late, with the whole egg thing, and you needed to figure out what you would do with your face the way it was.

===+++===

“Can we stop for coffee?” Lottie groaned, tapping her fingers along the sill of your passenger side window. “‘s so fucking early.” She was splayed out in the seat, with a backup blanket you kept in the second row thrown over her legs and cuddling up to her backpack. You scoffed, fingers on the wheel with an extra tightness.

“Hell no. We’re going to be late for the meeting.” But she just groaned again.

“I didn’t even want to be part of it. You were the jerk who made me.”

“You’re literally the treasurer. You’re on the club board.”

“And? I’m shit at french.”

“You’re shit at a lot of things.”

“And you’re shit at catching a ball with anything but your face,” she giggled.

There didn’t end up being anything you could do. Going to bed had only made the bruising worse, and your nose was a bright red while your eye sat at a deep, unnatural black colour with touches of purple on the outside. You were sure to get odd looks by anyone you passed, but you decided to just get it over with and wear it out.

At the light you turned, driving down the familiar street that led to WHS, and as soon as the coffee shop was in sight, Lottie smacked her hand onto the glass, dragging her fingers down and leaving prints.

“I need to tell you something,” you said, frowning. Lottie whipped around in her seat.

“Are you finally going to say what happened with Nat yesterday?”

You rolled your eyes. "I thought you'd never ask."

She laughed. "I mean, I was going to, in the car ride home. You just didn't say a whole word the entire drive. It was freaking me out, actually. I thought you were either brain dead from Carter’s throw-in or didn’t want to talk about it.”

"Sorry," you mumbled. Lottie shook her head.

"It's fine. I'd probably stop talking for a bit too, if I found out Jackie was right about something."

"It was reality breaking," you nodded with a smile. It took until you both stopped at the light for you to muster the ability to speak again. "Nat’s upset about me potentially seeing other girls.”

"That's what I figured," said Lottie. "Soooo…what now?"

“It gets worse,” you said, shaking your head.

“Delightful.”

“I think she egged my house.”

Lottie laughed for a moment in a giant burst, but she stopped when you just held your stare on the road ahead. “Wait— are you serious???”

You nodded. “There were eggs and toilet paper everywhere. My dad was pissed.”

“Nat wouldn’t do that, though. She’s not that kind of person,” she said, shaking her head.

“Who else would it be, Lottie? She wrote a giant ‘fuck you’ on my house. She’s the only one I gave my code to.”

Lottie furrowed her eyebrows. “Why’d you give her your code?”

“…My parents and Reginald were out of town in August. So…”

“Ew,” she scrunched her nose. “Got it.”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll bet she’s on your dad’s shit list now.”

You frowned, remembering just how smooth her skin was against you. How she cradled your face in her hands like it was her whole world. “I didn’t tell him it was her.”

She stared at you for a moment, as if you had missed something spelt out in a bright neon sign that floated just above your head in a way you could never read it. Lottie shrugged, turning back to look out the window. “What are you going to say to her? I mean, it’s clear she wants your full attention.”

"Or that it’s over. She told me to ‘go to hell,’ Lot.”

“It’s because she cares about you. Like, a lot.” She gave you a more annoyed look, this time.

"What's the face for?" you whined.

"If Nat’s gonna be super mad at you, practice'll be awkward as hell."

"Probably," you said. "Nat asked me to go with her to your party. So, that too."

She sighed. “You just had to screw a Yellowjacket, huh?”

“Hey! I didn’t mean to.”

“It was an accident?” she said, raising her eyebrows.

“No!— ugh, you know what I mean…”

“I know.” Lottie crossed her arms over her chest, leaning back in the car seat. "Maybe you could explain to her? Why it wouldn't work, and all?"

"Yeah," you huffed. "I'll just tell her she's considered trailer trash, and that my uppity parents want Miss Americana, who works in foreign countries with research teams for the science fair, and is at least four tax brackets above her. That'll go over great."

"Well don't say that," she rolled her eyes. Lottie thought for a moment. "…Do you at least like Nat, though?"

You frowned. "Would it even matter if I did?"

"Maybe," said Lottie. "Maybe it would matter." You pulled your car into your parking space, then pulled your key from the ignition. WHS always looked the same. Even in old photos your parents had shown, it had the same red brick and towering trees.

"Maybe I'll try to pull her aside…" you trailed off.

"That's probably a good idea," she nodded.

“Nat said Carter got detention?” You asked it as you grabbed your backpack from the backseat, tugging it over your shoulders while Lottie did the same.

“Yeah. Suspended from the team too,” she said, and you locked your car behind you both, as you headed through the old doors. French classrooms were on the opposite side of campus, down an older hallway that had yet to be renovated. Despite having two French teachers and a whole honours club, no one knew how to speak it.

The meeting had already started by the time you both slipped in, and Lottie awkwardly snuck along the wall to get up to the front where the leadership board was standing, who were less than pleased to see her late. Jackie waved you over to a seat in the back, and Jeff sat a few roads in front with his friends. Anyone who saw you stared for a second.

“Morning,” you mumbled, sliding into your seat.

“Morning,” she whispered back. “Your face looks terrible.”

“No, really?” you snorted. “I didn’t notice.”

“Stop talking!” came a voice from the front, and you could see Sloane glaring daggers at you from the front. She was the president of the club and she hadn’t liked you much since she dedicated a whole day to a date with you and you promptly refused a second.

“Sorry,” Jackie said, raising her hand to take the blame. Sloane shook her head, but went back to reading off of her notes. The moment her head was turned, Jackie leaned back over to you. “Boy, she needs the stick pulled out from her ass, huh?”

“It’s just ‘cause she’s French,” you whispered back to her with a grin.

“Yeah, well, she’s the only one. Besides, we all know it’s because Mr. Allard watches when she bends over.” You shook your head, stifling a laugh at the thought of the creepy old guy. Jackie nudged you in the shoulder. "Why was Nat pissed off yesterday, for the last bit of practice?"

You blinked. "What?"

"She came out all upset, like she was about to cry and stuff. Did you break her heart or something?"

"I don't know," you said with a frown. "I have no idea what we are at this point. I mean, I thought we were friends—"

Jackie scoffed. "Yeah right. You guys were friends, fucking in the back of your car. Real good friends, there."

"Shut up."

"I'm just saying. You definitely let her run wild with her fantasies of you."

"Is that such a bad thing?"

"Maybe if you're Nat. A kid who's top of the class, hot, prom court, varsity, and not a complete asshole? You're like Prince Charming. Or Mother Theresa.”

"You're kidding, right?"

"What, do you have the emotional depth of a kiddie pool? No!"

“Jackie! Stop talking!”

“Yup! Sorry.”

===+++===

Nat didn't show up to school, that day. You knew because you waited for her, right at the door to the cafeteria, down the same hall she always came through. She wasn't there. You waited for her after what would've been her Biology class, leaning on the wall and watching everyone but her file out when the bell rang. She wasn't there either.

You even waited at the back of the school, after the final bell, to see if she would appear, but all you got were weird looks from kids in band tees and a whole waft of what smelled like weed. Nat smelled like that sometimes, but she tried to cover it with perfume. You could still smell it on her, but it blended with the smell to be uniquely Nat. As silly as that was, you liked that you knew that.

From the far wall, you could see Kevyn watching you, surrounded by kids you had seen Natalie with. You didn’t know Kevyn too well, only in passing mention from Nat, or in a story. He was the reason you two couldn’t meet up sometimes, though you tried not to hold that against him.

It wasn’t a thought you were very proud of, but your fingers tightened on the straps of your leather backpack with gold plating. Any one of your friends would laugh at you for being back here, and you stood out like a white sheep in a field of sheep in black leather jackets. You didn’t know any of these kids, but you could tell they knew of you, from the glances and whispers.

It seemed Kevyn couldn’t hold his tongue any longer. He stepped forward and at least attempted to shove his hands into his jean pockets, but they seemed a bit tight on him and he gave up. “The hell are you doing out here?” he grumbled out.

“Have you seen Nat?” you asked with an awkward smile.

Kevyn’s glare sharpened. “She doesn’t want to talk to you. Nice face, by the way.” So she had told him. You winced.

“Look, I really need to speak with her. It’s super important and—”

“—I don’t think you heard me. She doesn’t want to speak to you,” said Kevyn, interrupting and crossing his arms over his chest. You frowned.

“Kevyn, please…”

“I'm not telling you, country club.”

“Don’t call me that.”

Kevyn took another step forward with a challenge. “It’s what you are, isn’t it?” You could feel even more eyes on the both of you.

“I just need to find her.” It was embarrassing, how your voice shook as you said it, but that didn’t make it any less true.

“But you hurt her.”

You looked down. Air did not want to come easy. “I know. I know I did.”

Kevyn stayed silent for a while. It was the both of you just standing there while he seemed to mull over his options. He sighed. “She’s not here today. Didn’t want to come. She’ll be back tomorrow for practice.”

You nodded, raising your hands in appreciation. “Okay, thank you,” you rushed it out, getting ready to jet. The stoners still made you a bit uneasy. But before you could go he spoke up again.

“Nat’s not as tough as she acts, you know.”

You stopped, turning back to him. “What?”

“She wouldn’t shut up about you. It was almost like bragging. She’s— she was actually proud of something hers, for once.”

You didn’t know what to say to that. Your mother would be clutching the pearls of her necklace right now, if she saw where you were. She just might’ve died, the moment she smelled the weed.

Kevyn shook his head. “Don’t hurt her again. I fuckin’ mean it.”

You swallowed, managing to fix a smile to your face. It felt very hot out, then, and you turned around to leave this time. No one stopped you, but there were kids that watched you go.

The way he said it made you feel slimy. This would not be the triumphant lovers coming back together to be as one forever. That stuff was for kids who saw too many Disney movies. Maybe, though, she would let you sit skin to skin again in the warm, even if only for a little while. And that was perfectly normal for being casual, right?

===+++===

The sun was practically beating down on you, absolutely covered in sweat within the first ten minutes of being outside. You had gone to practice early, patiently waiting by the bench and doing up your cleats. It still felt weird. Since you and Nat had started the whole arrangement, you hadn’t gone a single day without hearing from the other. It set you on edge.

By the time the rest of the two teams had filed out onto the pitch, you already were kicking the ball around with Daniel DuPont. He always played with a smile, like Laura Lee, and you wished sometimes that you did too. A kick from you sent the ball towards him, and he booted it back so you caught it with your chest.

Your eye was doing better than the day before, but still looked violet and red, and your nose was still swollen, but you would’ve had to pry soccer practice from your cold, dead hands. On Friday afternoons your mother had her wine-tasting friends over and it was impossible to be less of a fan of the event than you were.

With the ball still bouncing on the grass, you kicked it towards Daniel, and he headed it back to you. "Here," he called it. You appreciated him being extra cautious with your eye injury, but he was playing as if you were a fragile package wrapped in bubble wrap, that needed coddling. You caught the ball with your chest, letting it drop to the ground.

"Pass!" Shauna called from the other side of the field, and you booted it in her direction, waving to everyone out there that you were off to talk to people. You took a singular step towards the benches when you saw her.

Nat stood with her back to you, fiddling with the plastic lid of her cup as if it was broken. Her hair looked especially bright in the sun, like it had in her room, or when you both went to the lake. Casual arrangements went to the lake, right?

You so badly wanted to go up to her and say something. Anything, really. But your feet were rooted to the ground and you were stuck watching her get ready. When she turned around, you weren't sure if it was better or worse than when she hadn't seen you. It was a hard stare to match, when she saw you and your eyes locked, even if it only lasted for a moment. They flew to your bruise right after, and then away. She was looking right through you with practiced indifference.

"Circle up!" Coach Martinez yelled to you all, walking right on the pitch and towards the centre. "Come on , we don't have all day!" Both teams slowly made their way over, but when enough had pooled around Coach Martinez and Coach Scott, Martinez pulled up his clipboard. "We're going to do some stretches, so just kind of space out."

===+++===

You didn't say anything to Nat the entirety of practice, but it was painfully obvious that you wanted to. You knew she could see you, staring at her and spacing out as you struggled to form the words you wanted to say to her. But she made no attempt to actually let you talk to her.

When you were on the drive home, Lottie nudged your arm. “So…Nat.”

“Yeah. Nat.” Your fingers tightened on the steering wheel. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay,” she nodded. “What time are you coming over for the party?”

You shrugged. “No clue, to be honest. It depends when Jackie and Jeff plan on showing up.”

Lottie groaned. “Are they going to be annoying and have a whole drunk argument again?”

“See, that’s while I’ll probably ditch them for you and Shauna,” you laughed. “Last time they tried to get me involved on ‘who was smarter.’”

“But they’re both idiots.”

“Oh, absolutely.”

You dropped Lottie off at her house and then made the small drive up to yours. It was close enough of a distance where you two were technically neighbours, but not anywhere close to one that you’d willingly walk.

The moment you got home, you parked your car under the awning and hopped out, grabbing your backpack and your duffel bag and heading inside.

“Helllooo?” you called, up from the foyer and then making a beeline from the stairs. You had to get clean and dressed for Lottie’s party, and it didn’t help that you smelled from practice and were covered in sweat. Your father had flipped out when he had seen you first sweating on the leather of your car seat, but he had given up on convincing you to put a towel down first.

When you got to the top of the stairs, a voice called back out to you. “Hello, (Y/n).”

You leaned on the bannister, and Reginald appeared at the bottom with a smile. “Hey, Reggie.”

“Your parents are going out of town tonight. I think they aim to be back on Wednesday.” You raised your eyebrows.

“Since when?” you asked. It wasn’t unusual or anything, these trips were how they stayed married. If anything, it filled you with a rush.

“Since around 4. They’ll be in Monaco tomorrow morning.”

“Okay,” you shrugged. “I’m going to a party tonight. Lottie’s.”

“You know I don’t mind,” Reginald said, tipping an imaginary hat and heading back towards the kitchen. “Just make sure you shower. You smell awful.”

“Thanks, Reggie.”

“Mhm.”

It took you about an hour to get ready, in a brand new outfit you had picked up with Lottie the weekend before. You stood by the armoire, sliding your rings onto your fingers and spritzing yourself, when your phone started vibrating in your pocket. You pulled your Motorola from your pocket, flipping it open with a groan when you saw the caller I.D. and realising what this was before you even needed to hear it.

“Yeah?”

“(Y/n),” Jackie said into the phone with the buzz of excitement in her voice. “Could you come and pick me and Jeff up for the party? I’d appreciate it, hubby.”

You laughed. “Sorry, sweetie. I’m literally next to Lottie’s house, that’s a whole bunch of driving I don’t want to do.”

“But Jeff loves your car,” she replied in a sing-song voice. “It’d make his day.”

“Nope,” you said, with a fond eye roll. “I have to help Lottie set up. I promised.”

“Terrible friend, then,” she joked. You shook your head.

“Mhm. See you when you get there, sweetie.”

“You too, hubby.”

===+++===

The party was all too much, for your liking. Rap blasted from Lottie’s speakers all across her backyard. A small fire you had started sat in the centre of it, with people standing around and drinking nearby.

On a truck someone had pulled back there, you could see Shauna leaning back against it in her jacket, and she sent you a quick wave. You wandered over, knocking your solo cups together and leaning with her.

“Not having fun?” you asked with a laugh.

“It’s definitely a party,” she replied, slinging a friendly arm around your shoulders. “Where’s Lottie?”

“This couple was having a giant fight in her kitchen, she’s calling them a ride.”

“Hm,” she hummed, looking out over the bonfire. “What about Jackie?”

“Her and Jeff ran off. I don’t even know where.” Shauna frowned. “Where’s Nat?” you asked, sending her a hopeful glance.

Shauna gave you a look. “You two are still on the outs, huh?”

“Something like that.”

“Well,” she said. You followed her gaze towards the other end of the fire, against a pine tree where an old, marble bench sat. It was somewhat obscured by passing people, but you saw through a gap in the crowd and your heart dropped out of your chest.

Nat was there, in a red plaid dress that hugged her body. Thrown over it was her leather jacket that she always wore. She looked beautiful. The way you had seen her in your dreams the night before. Until you saw that next to her was Bobby Farleigh, that was.

They were talking, leaned in together with alcohol in hand, and laughing. She had asked, when you started sleeping together, who else you had been with. You vividly remembered Bobby Farleigh being on the list, when you asked her the same question. He was a creep, and it made you sick just as it made you sick now. You stood up straighter.

“Yeah,” Shauna said. “Sorry.” You shook your head. Jealousy pooled in the pit of your stomach, but was normal for being ‘casual,’ right? Either way you didn’t like it. It was like a switch flipped in you. It didn’t matter how many people saw you or if they knew your parents. You couldn’t handle this.

“See you, Shauna,” you called back over your shoulder. You stormed towards the two of them on the bench with a glare, and you saw Nat look up at you coming over, watching you intently.

Her eyes narrowed. “What do you want?” She said. It was loud, and with it came the turning of heads. Next to her Bobby Farleigh hopped up to his feet.

“The fuck are you doing?” it came out harsher than you expected it to, deep from within, and you put your hands on your hips.

“Why the hell do you care, all of a sudden?” She challenged back as she too got to her feet. “I find that really, really funny.”

“We’re not talking about this here,” you said. “Come on.” You grabbed her arm, pulling her along with you.

“As if I’d go anywhere with you,” Nat scoffed, but she didn’t pull her hand from your grasp. She let you lead the way, up through the house. People parted like Moses and the Red Sea, watching you go, and though you knew there would probably be gossip about this on Monday, you were past caring.

You wandered into one of Lottie’s guest bedrooms, slamming the door behind you. You spun to Nat.

“What, do you need me to get you off again?” She asked, tone dripping with anger. “Did you pull me in here because you were bored?”

You had to ignore the question. “The fuck were you doing with Bobby Farleigh?”

“See and I thought you were supposed to be the smart one,” Nat spat back at you. You scowled.

“Why the hell were you going to do that with him. He’s a bully and a creep,” you shot, crossing your arms.

“Y’know what, I don’t have to say anything to you. You made it perfectly fucking clear, we don’t owe each other anything.”

“It’s not even about me!”

Her mouth dropped open. “Oh it’s not, huh? No, you don’t have a problem with it being Bobby Farleigh— you could give a fuck about Bobby!” She was yelling now. “You give a shit because it’s not you, and you’re a jealous asshole.”

“So what if I am?!” You yelled back.

“Then I’d say you have no fucking right to be! You do NOT for one god damn second get to be mad I’m sleeping with other people when I hear you’re playing The Newlywed Game with rich chicks.” You didn’t know what to say to that and Nat took it in stride.

“You can do a lot of fucking things, you rich, entitled asshole,” she continued. “But you can’t pretend for shit that we were just fucking around.” You clenched your jaw. “And to think,” she scoffed and you could see the edges of her eyes water, “that I used to think you were safe and good. Now I see you for what you really are— a fucking child with a silver spoon.”

In your arguing, you both had moved closer together, faces inches apart. Her lips looked so soft in the dim lighting of the bedside lamps. You swallowed. She was so close, and there was again that scent of perfume and weed. But Nat backed up, storming past you and heading for the door.

You didn’t know who closed the distance first, but your hand was on her arm, tugging her back against you, and then your lips were against hers. Her taste was so sweet, the same lip balm as always. Cherries.

You pulled her tight against you, feeling her hands go up to your hair, weaving in. You pulled away for a breath for a moment and then immediately kissed her again, this one more needy and ferocious than before you. She tugged at your scalp and your hands flew to her thighs, pulling her up against you and holding tight.

Everything felt so damn humid in there, and you slowly backed Nat onto the bed, pushing her down and crawling on top of her. You leaned down to reconnect your lips and then immediately went south, moving her blonde hair away gently with your fingers and then covering her neck in soft kisses while you tugged her dress down.

Nat let out a heady breath. “(Y/n),” she said in a huff. Your hands grabbed hers, interlocking the fingers and moving them above her head while your mouth did the work for you, sucking on a spot right under her jaw and then slowly down her neck to the exposed area that only her hair could cover from her father.

Nat’s skin was always a cool pale colour, and you pulled away briefly to see the bruises already forming along her neck. You weren’t exactly being soft, but you knew Nat could take it, and that she wanted it. She was staring at you with heavy-lidded eyes, and you silently tugged off your shirt, throwing it somewhere in the room.

Her hands went to your pants, tugging them down, and you moved to get them out from under your legs before discarding them too. She went for your underwear next, watching you with her blue eyes as she moved, but you stopped her, catching her by the wrist and lifting it up to place a slow, gentle kiss on her open palm. You just wanted it to be Nat beneath you.

You slowly dragged your mouth up her arm while you held her gaze, leaving a trail of where it had been. Your other arm came up to cup her breast through her bra, and she let out a full on moan, face flushing pink.

You moved away from her arm and to her chest instead, nipping at her collarbone and sucking on the skin there. Her hands came up to cup your head, fingers weaving in the hair at your nape and brushing some back from your forehead as she let out another shaky breath. Your mouth trailed lower and lower, and Nat threw her head back as you continued to palm at her breasts through the fabric, her hand leaving your hair and scraping down your back with her nails. It hurt, sure, but not in a bad way. In a way that made you want her even more.

“Can I?” you asked, as she writhed beneath you. Your knee went to the space between her legs, feeling her wet, dripping centre on the outside of her underwear. She rubbed down on it, trying to relieve some of the friction and cried out.

“Need— need,” she struggled to focus with your hand on her breast and hot breath on her neck. “Need you,” she whimpered. Nat usually put up more of a struggle for dominance, and fucking was typically far more playful than the pure desire her face expressed. You didn't need to be told twice, taking your fingers and skirting the waistband to dip even lower. When you felt how soaked she was you sucked in a breath.

You pulled her underwear down in a single fluid motion, thumb swiping right over her clit. Nat shook against you with a moan, hand wrapping around your shoulder to hold you close and keep her stable. You started slowly, gently inserting your middle finger into her entrance, and Nat shuddered, leaning into you and holding you tight.

It was an awkward angle, but you never would've told her to move or let you go. It was the warmth you had been missing, and you watched her face scrunch as you slowly began to move your finger. Nat let out a breathy moan, nails digging into your shoulder, and you took the subtle note, adding a second finger.

She's ground down into your hand, clasping your wrist in encouragement, and soon you were moving quicker inside her entrance. Her legs shook with your movement, head thrown back and no longer able to look at you anymore as you fucked her down to your knuckles. You'd done this before, but you had a fire in your belly.

When her grip on your shoulders faltered and her hands fell to grip at the sheets, you took your other hand and gently rub it on her clit, thumbing the bundle of nerves in a way that has her loud. She sucks in breaths and moans, throwing back her head, and you listen to them with a smirk at how quickly she seems to be approaching release.

Your fingers pumped deep inside of her and she shook, and then she said your name. "(Y/n)," she breathed out.

"Hm?" you asked, adding extra pressure on her clit. She let out a gasp.

"I love you," she said, and though it caught you off guard, you did not slow down. She had said it before while fucking and so had you. "I love you," she repeated, and you could feel her body tensing.

"Uh...I love you," you said it back, continuing to fuck her with your fingers.

"I love you," she said.

"I love you, Nat," you whispered.

"I love you!" she gasped again, and this time, you felt her body tense completely. Cum leaked out onto your fingers, coating them in her slick while she shook. You slow down your pace, watching her with more awe than you'd like to admit. She just looked so beautiful, splayed out like that and still gently shaking from time to time while she regained herself.

When you gently pulled your fingers from her centre, she shakes and whimpers with the lost sensation. You put your fingers to your lips and into your mouth. Nat tasted just as sweet as before, and your gaze softened at the girl in front of you just as her chest slows its heaving.

"Are you alive?" you asked, sitting up and grabbing your shirt from of the floor to tug it over your chest. She nods slowly, then opens her glossy, blown-out eyes. She's not awake for long, and it only takes a few minutes for her to be out like a light. She's still shaky and weak, but she sends you a smile before she falls asleep.

You don't know why you do it, but you gently lift her up and under the sheets of the bed, pulling the duvet over her. You'd probably have to reimburse Lottie for the dry cleaning. You don't know why you do it either, but after heading towards the door with a pile of clothes in hand, you decide to stay. You clamber into the sheets alongside her, resting your head on the pillow and watching her softly sleep until you fall asleep on your own.

You can't place exactly why it hurts you so much, when you wake up the next morning and realise Nat's no longer there.

THERE WILL BE A PART 3 COMING I PROMISE BUT THIS WAS SO LONG ALREADY. ANYWAYS, FINALE NEXT TIMEEEEEE

[only4barnes]

ellie williams headcanons

AND A MOODBOARD AT THE BOTTOM

i love ellie just as much as abby i swear </3

so here’s my headcanons (some r no outbreak au and some mention the outbreak)

— 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 she lovesss sending you tiktoks of random things and it literally doesn’t matter

— 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 one minute she’ll send you a video of skibidi toilet and 3 seconds later she’ll send you a tiktok that says ‘send this to someone you’ll make out with violently’ and attaches no text and give no context to anything

— 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 she’ll love exploring outside of jackson to collect all of her superhero trading cards. if she finds one she already has, she’ll just give it to you.

— 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 she’s pretty vanilla but likes exploring different kinks if you ask. she likes praise and other affection during sex, like holding hands or just holding each other close

— 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 she’s definitely a switch. sometimes she’ll like being on top, using her strap on you or eating you out, but she loves when you take control and lead the way.

— 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 she’s reckless most of the time with joel, but when you guys start dating she’s hyper aware and extra vigilant. if a bush even dares to graze your leg she won’t think twice about setting it ablaze.

— 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 everything in her room has something to do with you. her posters are bands you both like, all the photos on her wall are of you or include you in some way, and all her jewelry is yours.

— 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 she has a box of your clothes (totally didn’t steal them from your dresser) under her bed in case you decide to stay over at hers. all of the essentials are there, like undergarments, pajamas, and clothes for the next day. once a week she’ll take them out and wash them so they stay fresh <3

— 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 always wants to play songs for you on her guitar but she gets shy halfway through and you’ll have to sing with her so she’ll finish the song.

— 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 one time she was too shy to even play the first chords so when you got home you learned the song on guitar so you could play for her

— 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 she loves all of you, and she will never understand how you have any insecurities. she will kiss every single mole on your body or every scar if she could.

— 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 loves pda but would never make out in public or do anything that would make you uncomfortable. she loves holding hands, rubbing her hand on your thigh, or just holding you close during cold bonfire nights

— 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 if you kiss her in public she’ll literally turn tomato red and become a stuttering mess

— 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 joel never allowed the two of you to pick anything up on patrol unless it was necessary, just to preserve room for supplies. obviously ellie doesn’t follow these rules and picks up letters, trading cards, or drawings. but you stick to the rules and only pick up alcohol, rags, bottles, etc. so if you find something on patrol you like, ellie will go back another day and pick it up for you and surprise you when she gets back

— 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 she did not make the first move. she obviously gave little hints like longer hugs than other people, glances towards you, longer eye contact, or just general touches. it took what felt like a million years for you to finally give up and ask her out, becuase eventually you realized she would never ask you out.

— 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 that last headcanons proves she’s bad at picking up hints. she’ll drop so many but she can never tell when you’re making a move. you’ll kiss her cheek goodbye, hold her hand, graze her thigh, and tuck her hair behind her ear and she’ll never pick up on it

— 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 girl cannot flirt. terrible rizz, i mean terrible. she’ll make bad jokes that no one laughs at or try to lean on the table you’re sitting at and fall. but that’s what makes her more charming bc she’s so cute. you’ll laugh at her though, and that’s all that matters to her. that you noticed her

— 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 she’s a rambler. while the two of you are stuck stationed at patrol, she will not stop talking. she’ll talk about the newest movie she saw with joel, or the newest comic she read, and if you don’t seem interested for 2 seconds she’ll get sad.

[bunnyhugs77]

Daddy Daycare

Pairing: Technician! Jungkook x Teacher's Assistant! Reader

Word Count: 7k

Part: 1, 2, 3

Series Content: daycare au, suggestive themes, love at first sight? dilf jk, mentions of antidepressants, mint jk and blonde jk, jk cant sleep, sexual themes, he's so whipped, toxic ex, minor baby mama drama, gold diggers, mentions of death, complicated family history, cute kid cameos, reader can't drive, jk is good with his hands, mentions of abusive relationships, so much fluff.

Other Series Content: soft dom! jk, muscle kink, pussy puts his ass to sleep, unprotected sex (just don't), oral sex (f! and m! receiving), brief choking, minor breeding kink, hickeys, brief dom! reader, reader makes him wait, intimate cuddling, praise.

"Ready for a new year, Y/n?"

Your nose was filled with the smell of fresh paint and scotch tape as you and your co-worker Vanessa who goes by Ms. Powell when the class is swarming with bright and bustling four-year-old's.

The loud sound of ripping tape rang through your ears as you pasted the pieces onto the back of the welcome sign. The sun was hardly out as the two of you arranged to arrive at your new classroom bright and early at 5 am to finish off the decorations for the classroom.

"I can't believe the summer is finished already." You say with a rejuvenated smile. "I can only imagine how fast the time flies when you're travelling Europe." She reminds you of your two-week-long travels across the south of Europe.

Standing to your feet for what feels like the first time ever after hours of crouching and kneeling to finish up the decorations. "I think that's the last of it," with a puff of air and a pair of hands on your hips you smile to yourself, satisfied with the lively environment the two of you managed to create.

"I think we're ready," Vanessa says, cracking open a fresh whiteboard marker to sign your names on the board in a warm welcome.

With a quick glance down to your watch. "-and just in time too,".

The sun had peaked over the horizon no more than thirty minutes ago which means that theatrical parents would be rolling in any minute now to send off their kids to what could possibly be their first day away from them.

You both took the last few minutes to run down the hall and get changed, making sure you both looked ready to take on 22 pre-schoolers. Although you weren't the head teacher, you still had just as much of a responsibility as Vanessa did and it wasn't always easy.

The scar on your upper arm which was victim to the shark-like teeth of an ambitious little boy last year can attest to that.

You smiled warmly to some parents who passed by you in the halls on your way back to the classroom. Some familiar faces, some new, although based on the direction they were walking, they weren't any kids in your class.

By the time you returned to yours, there were already two parents bidding their farewells with their energetic offspring who were already reaching for the crayons you'd left on each table.

You slowly made your way to the front with Vanessa as the two of you prepared to introduce yourselves to the large crowd of parents and students that situated themselves around the room.

The energy was high, you could practically feel some of the anxiety and excitement from the crowd.

"Hello everyone!" Vanessa starts, clasping her hands together, "On behalf of Sunshine Circles Daycare, we want to give you all a warm welcome to our class."

Vanessa introduces herself professionally before briefly gesturing to you, cueing your smile, "And this is Ms. Hill, she will be assisting both me and the students around the classroom. I wouldn't be able to do this without her." You nod along, preparing yourself to speak.

"Yes, so if ever Ms. Powell is unavailable, don't be afraid to share any questions or concerns with me that you have about the class or your child." Out of sight, somewhere in the crowd a pair shuffled through the large group of bodies and made their way to the front.

"We're looking forward to-" You paused, your eyes meeting the eyes of the man who just emerged from the crowd while holding the small hand of who you presumed was his son, he looked a little younger than the rest of the parents, and significantly buffer if you must add.

You could see peaks of his soft blue hair sticking out from underneath his black beanie that matched his black wife beater. He flashes you a coy smile, so innocent and handsome to the point he'd made you forget your train of thought and completely forget what you were in the middle of saying.

"I think what Ms. Hill was about to say was that we're looking forward to having a wonderful year full of learning and fun." Vanessa fills in your blanks and all you could utter was a small 'mhm!'.

With that said, the parents that'd been here since the very beginning had naturally begun to take their leave, not without a tight hug and reassuring kiss to their child's forehead of course.

"Sorry we're late," You turn around, and it's as if the air was sucked out of your lungs. The man was even more stunning up close, but that was something you vowed you would never acknowledge again. He's the guardian of one of your students, it would be unprofessional.

"That's no problem at all, life happens," you chirp, almost too happily. "Isn't that the truth, Ryan here couldn't seem to find his favourite shoes and refused to wear anything but." The man smiles, and wow, even his smile was attractive.

If you thought his smile was contagious you just couldn't stop yourself from beaming when you finally looked down to meet Ryan's big grin. "Look! It's lightning McQueen!" He shouts, stomping his feet at one hundred miles a minute, the base of his sneakers flashing red and white as he does so.

"Your shoes are awesome! I wish mine could do that." You return his big energy with a bit of a softer tone, oblivious to the way the man is watching you intently. All of a sudden Ryan was hopping up and down, tugging on his dad's arm, "Can I colour?!" He points to the table full of markers and blank papers.

"Well, you're going to have to ask Ms. Hill first, okay buddy?" The man looks at you with a damn near glow in his gaze, "Of course it's okay. Use as many colours as you'd like." Before you could even finish your sentence, Ryan was long gone, only the flashes of his sneakers were proof that he hadn't teleported.

"Have you been teaching here long?" He asks, prompting you to shake your head. "This is actually only my second year teaching here," subconsciously his plump bottom lip found itself victim between his teeth. "Ah," he sighs.

There was a brief pause in your conversation. As if it were planned, both of your gazes dropped down to analyze the other's left hand, looking for any signs of that metallic band wrapped around the ring finger.

Seems like you were both in the clear, for now.

Your conversation resumed as if the ring inspection never even happened and soon the both of you were finally making introductions. "The kids call me Ms. Hill, but you're more than welcome to call me Y/n." That lip ring was taunting you as it sat so comfortably in his plush pink lips that stretched into a soft smile.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Y/n, I'm Jungkook."

~~

"Goddamn it." You mutter. Giving the projector another hard hit in the back as it flickered and failed to turn on. It had been giving you a hard time all week.

You're at least grateful it let you have a successful first week of the year but now it was acting up more than ever. Kids would be coming any minute and Vanessa was stuck in traffic, so you would somehow need to find a way to fix this and supervise all before--

"Good morning Ms. Hill," Never mind you think, giving the projector one last frustrated tap. Disregarding it as if it never happened and focusing on Jungkook and Ryan who just walked in.

Ryan shouts a cheery good morning of his own before getting his hands on the toy car he's grown fond of over the last week. Unspokenly declaring it as his own.

"I couldn't help but notice.. and hear your frustrations with the projector from down the hall. Something wrong?" He takes two confident strides towards the equipment with you trailing along.

"Yeah, it's been breaking down all week. I was hoping to show the kids a video today, but it seems I may have to improvise." He didn't respond with anything more than his warm smile as he laid his hand down on the top of the projector giving it a once over.

His brows furrow ever so slightly before he lets out a little laugh.

"What's so funny?" your arms cross instinctively, eyes never leaving his lean frame as he practically struts over to the outlet and properly plugs in the cord, the graphics now displaying perfectly on the screen.

"In all of my years working in tech, that may have been one of the hardest cases to solve." He teases and you subconsciously let your tongue poke the inside of your cheek, failing to hide an embarrassed smile.

You waved to the parents who were dropping off more students, "If you ever have any more technical issues, I'd be happy to help." He reaches into his back pocket and places one of his business cards in your hand. "I will, thank you."

You shook off whatever the hell it was that was bubbling in your stomach, and reminded yourself things were strictly professional and he was only offering to be nice, nothing more.

-

The weeks were flying by without you realizing it until Thanksgiving was mere weeks around the corner. Which meant today was show and tell. Vanessa instructed everyone to sit on the carpet in a big circle.

Yesterday you reminded parents to help their child to find something they loved at home so they could bring it to show and tell.

"Thanksgiving is a special day of the year where we-" Vanessa was in the middle of explaining from where she sat crisscrossed on the carpet in the circle while you picked up the abandoned crayons and papers on the desk.

"Eat lots of food," cute giggles filled the room from Carly's outburst. "Yes, that's right. We eat lots of food on Thanksgiving and it's a day to be grateful for everything you have. Can anyone tell me what it means to be grateful for something?"

The class had never been so quiet, full of scrunched brows and blank stares. "It means to be happy with what you have. How many of you have toys at home?" Almost all hands shot up at once, you were afraid someone would lose an eye.

"Do you like your toys,? The room filled with lots of loud and affirmative responses, "To be grateful for something like your toys means showing them extra love and saying thank you to your parents who bought them."

By the time you'd finished cleaning up and joined the circle, they were about halfway through the circle for show and tell, everyone getting a chance to say what they brought and why they loved it along with passing it around the circle.

"Thank you for sharing Ms. Cuddlepuff with us Riley."

"Ryan, what did you bring?" He practically lights up when his turn finally comes around. He introduced his favourite blue race car, and described it as fast and shiny, even holding it while he spun the wheels for us.

"What an amazing car! Do you want to pass it around?" He shakes his head. You tried to be gentle understanding why he wouldn't want to share, "Don't you want your friends to be able to see your amazing car too?" He shakes his head, hugging his toy close to his chest and scooting further back, removing himself from the circle.

"Ryan-" Vanessa tries to reason but he starts to yell, "I don't want to share! It's mine!" He stomps his feet, the lights on his shoes flashing red, a similar shade to his furious expression.

You looked over to Vanessa, the both of you deciding you weren't going to fight him on it.

"Okay Jamie, what did you bring today?" He shakes his head as if he is mimicking Ryan's behaviour. "I don't want to share either."

Oh boy.

Finding a way to get the rest of the class to share their objects had taken all of your willpower and the rest of the day, right until parents were walking in, ready for pick up.

"Hey," You smile as you watched Jungkook walk in wearing his typical white collared shirt with the top button open giving you only the slightest peak of the silver chain beneath that sat atop his honey-kissed skin--

"Daddy!" Ryan squeaked, running off to grab his coat and shoes.

"How was he today?" You tried to hide your regret but he noticed it, no matter how fast it flashed across your features. "What is it?" His voice was soft, welcoming any feedback.

"He had a bit of a hard time sharing during the show and tell. He didn't want his classmates to touch his car, which I understand but we try to encourage the students to be kind and share." Your heart was pounding, you always hated these kinds of talks.

You felt that it was just criticism, but in reality, it was just one rainy in comparison to one hundred sunny ones. Jungkook exhaled heavily. "I don't know what is with him and this car, he won't even let me hold it."

As if on cue, Ryan comes running back to his father with his jacket on and car in hand. His dad ruffles his hair playfully while the boy wraps his arms around his father's legs.

"I'm sorry about what happened. We're working on it, I promise." Nothing but sincerity rolled off his tongue as he looked down at the child who clung to his jeans.

"Come on buddy, let's go. Say bye to Ms. Hill."

"Bye, Ms. Hill!" He waves back to you before walking out the door.

As the clock rolled closer the 4:30, all the kids had gone home and it was just you and Vanessa going through the schedules for tomorrow.

"So how long are you gonna keep flirting with Ryan's dad." maybe you'd put on too much lotion earlier, it was pure coincidence that your pencil had immediately fallen from your hand.

She laughs as if something were hilarious. "I am so not flirting with him." She rolls her eyes, "Oh please, I have never seen you spend nearly half as much time talking to the other parents as much as you talk to him. Not to mention the hearts in your eyes."

You let your head fall into your hands out of sheer embarrassment, "I don't know what to do!" You almost shriek into your sweaty palms.

"A word of advice, save yourself the trouble and don't get involved. I don't believe that he's married but that doesn't mean there are no strings attached either. Believe me, I've been there, things can get messy and it's just not something you want."

Vanessa was bout seven years older than you, somewhere around 32 so you always took her advice to heart. "But didn't you end up marrying them, and then have two children?" She goes silent. "Yeah, well life is unpredictable."

You groan, letting your body fall back onto the carpet.

-

"Attention passengers, This is your driver speaking. I regret to inform you that we are currently experiencing a mechanical issue, and the bus has broken down. I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause."

Your head rolled back and hit the wall behind you. This is fantastic. It was supposed to be a great day today. It's Friday today. Specifically the last day before your three-day long weekend before the long weekend with Thanksgiving falling on the Monday.

You checked the time, 7:45. You should be there in 10 minutes, and honestly, you considered getting off the bus and walking but there were about 4 inches of freshly fallen snow from last night covering the city and it was far too cold to embark on such a journey at this time of day.

You wouldn't be there until 9 at the earliest.

Meanwhile,

"Have a great day Ryno. Daddy loves you." Jungkook places a quick peck on Ryan's forehead watching him join his friends. He couldn't help himself from scanning the class for you, wondering where you were.

In the meantime he approached Vanessa, handing her a small gift box. "I know Ryan has such a big personality, so here's a little something to help you get through the day." He smiles, "Happy Thanksgiving."

She was shocked to be receiving a gift for Thanksgiving, she usually only expected them around the holidays. It was a $50 gift card to her favourite coffee shop, she has their signature cup of coffee on her desk every morning. "Thank you, Mr. Jeon, this is incredibly thoughtful, and Ryan is such a delight to teach."

"I also have something for Ms. Hill, but I haven't seen her. Is she away today?" Vanessa's brows scrunched, realizing that you would usually be there by now. Her phone begins to ring, "Oh- This is her calling now." Jungkook didn't know whether to stay and listen but he couldn't bring himself to walk away.

"Your bus broke down? Where?"

"East of Park Avenue? That's 30 minutes away." Jungkook's brain was doing summersaults around a mental map he was programming in his head trying to locate where you were based on the information he was hearing.

The conversation continued for a minute more until it ended with Vanessa reminding you to 'stay warm'. "God, that's terrible. It's freezing outside." Jungkook frets and Vanessa manages to contain her thoughts from expressing themselves on her face, suppressing the smirk and opting for a head nod instead.

No less than 5 minutes had passed when Jungkook found himself behind the wheel driving towards your location. The minutes passed like seconds when he spotted the bus sitting on the side of the road.

Parking right behind it, he stepped out of the car and walked along the sides of it trying to spot you, but you saw him first. At first, you couldn't believe it but once you saw that ring tucked into his bottom lip, all doubts were gone.

You grabbed your bag and stepped off the bus, meeting him there at the steps. Looking down at him as the snow gently fell on his beanie, neither of you spoke. Your eyes seemed to be doing all the talking.

"Er-hem." Someone cleared their throat behind you, letting you know that they also wanted to get off and you were blocking the way. Apologizing you stepped off and to the side.

"What are you doing here?"

"I heard about what had happened and I couldn't stand there and do nothing. It's freezing out here." You could hardly look at him, he was just too cute, his nose and cheeks were beginning to turn a little rosy from the cold breeze that swept the snow across the sky.

"You came all this way just to give me a ride?" There were puffs of condensation with every breath and he nodded slowly, a little afraid he was coming off as a creep. "Y-yeah, I hope that's alright with you."

"That's perfectly fine with me, let's go before I lose feeling in my fingers for good." he snickers as you practically run towards the car that he'd unlocked.

You were so relieved to be sitting in a warm car with heated seats.

It was no time before Jungkook pulled out and began the careful drive back to the daycare.

The silence was comfortable and it gave you time to focus on regaining feelings in your limbs.

"I never knew that you took the bus," Jungkook starts, turning your face away from the flurries that fall outside the window and landing on the side of his face as he feigns concentration on the road.

"It's my only option since I don't drive," Jungkook's jaw fell open. He tried to catch it in time but it was too late, "Yeah yeah I know. I'm 25 and I don't drive." He takes advantage of the red light to face you, "There's no shame in that. I didn't mean to come off as judgy I was just surprised."

"No, I know. I'm not mad, I'm actually used to it. " The silence resumes, "Is there a reason why you don't drive?" He immediately regretted asking, he felt like he was prying and didn't want to make you uncomfortable. You were already in his car for god's sake.

"You don't have to-"

"I was 19." 

Never mind, he thinks. You seemed more than ready to share.

"I was coming home from school, I had just finished my first exam of many, the roads were dark and I was tired. I thought I saw something run across the street but I told myself I was seeing things. Suddenly there was a thud. My car rocked over and over again, so finally, I stopped. I got out and I was terrified to see the trail of blood that ran behind my wheel. There was a black cat that got caught on my tires and kept getting dragged and rolled around for 20 yards."

Jungkook's hand had somehow found its way cupped over his mouth throughout your story, nothing could have prepared him for a story like that.

"I'm a monster. I know. I've never driven since that day. It's best for the world If I simply don't drive." Now resuming his driving, he took one hand off the wheel to place on your shoulder. "Don't talk like that. You're not a monster. It's not your fault. It's not like you did it on purpose. I'm sure the cat forgives you."

You shake your head, "It doesn't change what I did."

Somehow the conversation had taken a brighter turn to the long weekend. "What are your plans for the weekend?" You ask him as he turns into the parking lot of the daycare.

"Same as always, Ryan and I will probably watch movies, cook and do some crafts." Your heart warmed at the engaged weekend he had ahead of him. "That sounds so sweet. I'm sure you guys have loads of fun." He nods, "How about you?"

You laugh sadly, "My parents decided to ditch the cold weather this year and headed to Florida a few weeks ago, so I'll be thankful for wool socks and gossip girl." he laughs.

"You know, It'd be a shame to spend the holidays on your own. You're more than welcome to join our festivities." you looked out the window, not in disinterest but so that he couldn't see the way your cheeks tinted pink.

He parks, "No I wouldn't want to impose on-"

"I insist. You wouldn't be doing anything of the sort. it would be nice to have you." You smile. "Okay, I'll be there,"

The hours flew by faster than you could even realize. Practically startled to see a parent walking into the classroom ready to pick up their child, and just like that, the day was over.

There were no more than a handful of kids left, but no more than the usual 5 or 6 whose parents had signed them up for aftercare due to their schedules, including Ryan who you just watched offer his crayons to his classmate Lia.

Vanessa was quick to acknowledge his kindness and gave him a sticker, you would have loved to have been part of the moment but unfortunately, you were just pulled into the hall by another teacher being asked to supervise another class while she used the bathroom.

By the time you returned, you saw Jungkook and Ryan packing up the last of their things getting ready to go, but he seemed almost relieved to see you.

"I never got the chance to give this to you earlier this morning," He hands you a small bag. You were stunned at what was inside. "In the spirit of thanksgiving, I wanted to show you my gratitude." He smiles.

You pry the bag open delicately moving over the tissue paper to see a hardcover novel. You knew the cover anywhere. "I've been trying to get my hands on this book for months! It's been sold out everywhere how did you get it?"

A sly grin slowly works its way across his features but he doesn't say. "How did you even know I wanted this?" You were trying your best to resist the urge to hug him. "I'd only seen you with the previous book laying on your desk wide open a dozen times, and all the sticky notes you'd have sticking out. It was a lucky guess that you were a fan of the series."

Stunned to silence, you let your smile speak for itself. "I love it. Thank you so much." His hand raises to his chest as a sign of relief but it is actually him trying to calm his racing heart. He was afraid you wouldn't like it; but what was there not to like?

How couldn't you like it?

-

Why couldn't you find anything you liked? Nearly half your closet was on your bed, quickly falling to the floor over time as you searched high and low for something to wear. This would be the first time Jungkook would see you outside of your workloads so you wanted to look good, but not too good of course.

You didn't want to seem like you were trying too hard. Being effortlessly flawless was the look you were trying to go for but you fear you've passed that point as you started to break a sweat a few minutes ago.

Unsure of how much time has passed, feeling stuck in the endless fashion time warp continuum. The pit in your stomach suddenly grew three times larger once you'd realized you had no more than 30 minutes to get ready if you wanted to catch your bus.

Begrudgingly, you finally picked something to wear. A minimalistic brown crew neck with your black Lulu leggings and beige wool socks that would match perfectly with your Uggs. You wanted to look cute but still put together, so you decided to slick your hair up into a neat bun.

Scrambling to grab your bag and your house keys before you paced your way down the street to the bus stop.

Watching the apartment buildings slowly become more narrow and shorter as you saw more and more modern condos. Only 20 minutes had passed on your commute until it was time to begin your 7-minute walk to your destination.

With one last sneak peek into your bag to make sure the desserts you'd brought were still in order and weren't dishevelled at some point during your journey.

Looking back up to the door, ringing the bell and waiting no more than 10 seconds before an over-eager Ryan swung the door open, out of sight but not out of earshot, you could still hear Jungkook's sweet voice scolding his son.

"Ryan, what did I tell you about opening the door?" Finally, he comes into sight from around a bend inside revealing an entirely new Jungkook.

He looked, good. Better than good. He looked hot.

Wearing an army green Essentials hoodie paired with beige cargos and a silver chain that hung around his neck.

Oh, and his hair was blonde.

Surprised that your eyes hadn't fallen out of their sockets at the sight of his freshly bleached locks with his naturally dark roots. God, he was so fine.

"Hey! Come in, come in. " He steps to the side and Ryan is gently nudged over by his dad's leg to make room for you and your things as you step inside.

Your senses are immediately welcomed by the scent of mahogany, carefully chosen as it mingles with the comforting aromas of a Thanksgiving feast in the making.

"Hi, Ms. Hill!" Ryan shouts, loud enough for you to hear from 50 feet away. He was just the cutest, "Hi, Ryan!"

Jungkook smiled, "I'm glad you could make it," instinctively reaching out to take the bag from your hands so you could focus on taking off your shoes and jacket. "I brought this for you guys." You say, prompting Jungkook to peek into the bad, grinning at the sight of the mini chocolate cupcakes.

"I can't guarantee these will make it to tomorrow."

Once your boots were off and sat neatly near the door, Jungkook offered to take your jacket from you, entrusting Ryan with the duty of holding the bag with the desserts and sending him off to place them somewhere in the kitchen.

"Your hair." You finally say, giving your neck a minor strain as you look up to the man as he leads you further into the house. Everything was styled so neatly.

The colour palette consists of soft whites and beige with a splash of greens and turquoise. The fireplace was lit, emanating a gentle warmth throughout the open concept. It gave the living room a cozy feel along with the brown fleece throw blanket that was placed carefully over his sectional couch.

"Yeah, I got pretty sick of the blue, I thought it was time for a change." With a mind of their own, his hands run through his hair before he gives it a shake. "Do you like it?" He knew the answer, you're sure he did.

It's like a demi-god asking if they were attractive, the answer was obvious. "It would be a lie if I said I didn't." You leaned onto the kitchen island, your line of sight landing on the four-year-old who busied himself with the pile of crayons and paper on the carpet.

You hated how easily the two of you fell into natural conversation almost forgetting that it was Thanksgiving if it weren't for the sudden waft of a delicious meal in the making hitting your nose. "Something smells delicious." Your nose twitched cutely as you sniffed; your curious brown eyes watching Jungkook as he rounded the island closer to you to check on the food in the oven.

"Hmmm... It'll be about another hour or so, I hope that's alright?" You'd decided to finally plant yourself down somewhere, inwardly unable to decide where since there were so many options, the big comfy couch, the table or the barstool chair that you finally decided to go with.

"In the meantime, do you want anything to drink? I have water, champagne, white wine, red wine, apple cider, coffee, milk- oh! and Apple juice." you can't help but giggle into your hand as he lists off what seems to be a never-ending list of beverages.

"Apple juice is fine, thanks." Or at least you thought it was the safe choice until you heard a loud objection bubble out of Ryan's throat. His voice was absolutely enraged. "No! That's mine!" His little steps quicken over to your feet, reaching for the juice box from your hand.

"Ryan. What did I tell you about sharing?" He doesn't listen, his face becoming more and more frustrated the longer he goes without your (his) juice box in his hands. His small hands reach out for you.

One could blame it on your background of teaching when you had an idea. Reaching for the child-sized cup on the counter as you popped open the juice box.

"Is it okay if we share it? You can have some and I can have some." He still didn't seem entirely convinced but he calmed down a little watching you squeeze half of the box into his cup before handing it down to him.

Holding the cup securely with his two hands he looks down into the cup with an inquisitive look, as if questioning your motives behind your generosity. "What do you say to Ms. Hill for being so nice and sharing?" He looks up at you, with no emotion on his face for an uncomforting amount of time, scanning you.

"Thank you, Ms. Hill!" He beams with a big smile and scuttles back to his drawing station, but Jungkook can't risk the little adventurer ruining his carpet and orders him to drink it in the kitchen. At least that way any spills can be wiped away from the tile.

Jungkook couldn't get over how patient you were, but he supposed it to be expected. You worked with dozens of kids every day for a living. You must be a saint. He's sure he would've lost it.

Jungkook groans, letting his head fall onto his arms as he leans onto the counter with a long sigh, one that lifts a bit of exhaustion from within him. "Everything alright?"

He nods, "'Jus' never thought being a single father would be this difficult. Every day it's eat sleep work repeat, on top of being a dad to a child who just can't seem to share with others, and it makes me wonder if it's my fault."

Maybe it was the hazy scented candles getting to your brain, the toasty fireplace nearby giving you warm fuzzies or maybe the apple juice had a little kick to it but you took a leap of boldness to place your hand on his shoulder.

Watching his eyes trail from your short manicured nails to your big brown eyes that looked at him with the utmost sincerity. Like a pool chocolate kindness. "He's a great kid, Jungkook. Every child goes through a rebellious stage at some point, it's practically inevitable. I've seen this over a thousand times, it doesn't take away from how special he is, just look at him."

The two of you observe the preschooler as he hums the tune to an incomprehensible song with his tongue slightly poking out as he coloured his papers passionately. "Thank you, Y/n." Your head whips around at the warm contact of his hand on yours, it didn't feel alarming at all, it was nice if anything.

-

"Wow. I don't think I could eat another bite, that may just be the best meal I've ever had." You groan, a limp hand on your stomach as you lean back in your chair, sitting across from Ryan whose placemat was covered in various foods and sauces that he was told to stop playing with half through dinner.

Jungkook grins from ear to ear, "Thanks, it's nice to hear." You sigh, "No seriously, where did you learn to cook like that? And more importantly, when can you teach me?" His head falls back as he laughs right from his chest. You couldn't help but think how much you were enjoying yourself.

"Funny you should say that," Jungkook picks up the empty plates from the table, putting them in the sink before walking out of view briefly leaving you with Ryan who stared at you with a grin.

"Where did your dad go?" His smile grew even wider if possible before bringing his gravy-covered index finger to his lips making a 'shush' noise. No more than 5 seconds passed before Jungkook returned with a pumpkin about the size of your head.

"Who wants to make pumpkin pie?" You laugh, unable to take him seriously.

-

"No I can't Jungkook- NO!" You shout, afraid you'd collapse from the lack of oxygen that was reaching your lungs from so much laughter as Jungkook was currently holding your hand trying to get you to scoop out some of the pumpkin seeds.

"You can do it, Ms. Hill!" Ryan cheers you on as your fingers make contact with the guts against your will. They were slimy, and soft, and triggered your sensory issues in every way imaginable. You gagged while Ryan laughed until his face was red.

Scooping out the last of them and placing them into the bag that Jungkook would dump into the compost later.

The three of you popped the pumpkin pie into the oven together and transitioned into your next set of activities. Soon the three of you made your own custom turkeys out of construction paper and googly eyes.

Which led you to now. The three of you snuggled up under the big brown blanket that was once just decoration but now provided warmth along with the crackling fireplace.

Now halfway into the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving movie, you looked into your side where Ryan had nestled himself comfortably, soft snores leaving his mouth with each breath.

"He's just the cutest." You say, moving one of his hairs out of his face, watching him while Jungkook watched you. Nothing is more appealing to him than watching you care for Ryan. "When did you know you wanted to start working with kids?" Jungkook asks, prompting you to think endlessly but you couldn't come to a conclusion.

"I don't know honestly. Maybe it's because I grew up in a pretty big family. Even though my immediate family is just me and my parents I was always the unspoken babysitter at family events, watching over all my younger cousins all the time."

"Well if no one has told you, let me be the first to say you're amazing." You turn to him, it was long past sunset, leaving the living room with a darker ambiance than when you'd first arrived but the warm glow of the flames on the side of Jungkook's face paired with that look in his eyes tempting you.

He leaned in ever so slightly but you looked towards the boy that was stirring uncomfortably in his sleep as if you were bothering him. With his still closed he flipped around to lay his head on the couch cushions instead.

It was impossible to contain your soft giggles at his sass even when he was sleeping. "You want something to drink?" Jungkook offers, "Please." you chuckle, unravelling yourself from the tangle of blankets and following him to the kitchen.

He poured you both a glass of wine, resuming your previous conversation from where you stood in the corner of the kitchen against the counter near the oven that radiated a glorious smell of pumpkin spice and cinnamon.

The tension could be cut with a knife. The way the two of you were looking at each other, practically stripping the other down with your eyes. Before you knew it, Jungkook was leaning into you and this time you definitely could blame it on the wine.

Placing your glass down on the counter behind you without thought and pulling his face to yours before finally pressing your lips against his own. Putting your heart into it before he pulled away, looking minorly dishevelled and flustered, "I-I was just reaching for my phone," He points weakly, his joints feeling as though they could fail him any second.

Your head rotates in horror to see his phone was in fact behind you and buzzing-- "Oh my god--" You held your red face in utter embarrassment, turning to walk away from him in shame but Jungkook would never allow that. Instantly grabbing you by the arm and pulling you back into him.

Your hips pressed flush against each other as he initiated a deep kiss, the kind you see at the end of a romance movie, nothing but passion and pent-up feelings. Feelings that he's held for you since the day he saw you.

He backed you up into the counter, your hands scrambling to brace yourself on his firm chest and he groaned softly into your mouth causing your knees to go weak. The kiss lasted longer than you thought you could hold your breath for, never wanting it to end.

"Wow-" you puff out a breath of air after the best kiss of your life. "A great cook and an even better kisser-- What can't you do?" For the first time, Jungkook's cheeks tint a rosy shade of pink but there's no time to respond as he hears Ryan complain.

"Daddy, I'm tired." You see his little head pop up from behind the couch with a bedhead of hair as he rubs his eye. "Yeah? You wanna get ready for bed little man? Come on let's go." Jungkook urges, turning to you with apologetic eyes, "I'll be right back, keep an eye on the pie for me?" You smile and nod.

Watching him disappear down the hall almost in a trace. A trance that was interrupted by the ceaseless buzzing of his phone. Buzz after Buzz after Buzz.

You shouldn't.

But the buzzing wouldn't stop.

What if it was an emergency?

You peeked at the screen.

Hana

-Where are you?

-I can't stop thinking about our night together.

-Pick up, I want to talk to you.

-When will I see you again? :(

Your stomach twisted, and you were certain it wasn't because of the wine. The oven timer goes off. How comedic. You shake it off, using the oven mitts to place the pie on the stove but ultimately deciding you wouldn't be able to stay any longer.

You didn't want to be the other woman, or the 'main' woman for that matter. You wanted nothing to do with someone who was possibly seeing two people at once.

Quietly you grabbed your things and made your way towards the door. Slipping into your Uggs and slinging your side bag over your shoulder when Jungkook sees you about to leave.

"Wait, Y/n. Where are you going? What's wrong?" Nothing but concern and confusion was written all over his face.

"I had a really great time tonight, Jungkook, Thank you. But I should really get going." Already twisting the door open and stepping through it, letting the frosty air nip at your cheeks and sweep by Jungkook's feet.

"it's dark and it's freezing outside, let me give you a ride." You object, "It's fine, it's only a 15-minute bus. I'll be fine. I'll see you tomorrow."

Like a whirlwind, you spun his world around and by the time he blinked you were gone.

Thanks for Reading!!

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[taegularities]

ruin you: reflections | kth

Summary: Sometimes, you really refuse to truly leave, don't you?

⋙ pairing: Taehyung x female reader ⋙ rating: 18+ ⋙ genre: exes? au; angst, bit of fluff ⋙ warnings: rain and sadness, nostalgia, a phone call, the L-word, memories, sleeping jungkook cameo lol, this is original ry!oc and a!oc isn't in the picture yet – so basically a prequel to ruined and sequel to the ry finale hehe ⋙ word count: 4.3k ⋙ a/n: i know it's been years and we're possibly over this series now bc so much happened on taegularities dot com after it finished, buuuut.. i was listening to only love by pvris the other day and i ALWAYS think of ry!tae when the song comes on lmao. anyway, enjoy this little thing that i totally did not ever expect to drop in 2k25 :') come talk to me about it <3

⁂ part of the ruin you series 

⁂ playlist 🎶

MASTERLIST | WIPS

This is barely what a promising spring Thursday is supposed to be.

The relentless winter lasted for ages already, and now it’s unseasonably cold, too. Not that Taehyung minds a harmless sprinkle, drizzling onto him as though to kiss his skin. But the coat is a little too thin and his umbrella nowhere near.

He could rush home and dive into some woollen blanket. Could fetch himself his favourite tea, sweetened with some honey, waiting for the last day of the week to break in. But the weekend is around the corner anyway, and he doesn’t leave on them much at all these days.

After work, at least, just like right now, he has an excuse to hide from his apartment for a while. It’s easier to walk around when already active; much more facile to carry himself back to this tiny park than when he’s at home, cosy and alone, tired and bitter.

Not everything is bad, though: Jungkook’s attitude towards Taehyung has long returned to what it used to be; albeit somehow, Taehyung can’t shake the feeling that in some sense, unspoken tension still lingers that neither of them will ever full be able to erase.

Taehyung smirks. Of course not.

You were in the absolute middle with them at far ends of the scale. Only, in truth, it wasn’t the perfect middle at all — you were leaning towards one decision so clearly. Turned left and right, but then chose the obvious direction.

For your sake, you settled on happiness, pure, unfiltered love that you knew and still know to be true. Taehyung wanted this for you.

But it’s ironic how you’re seemingly so whole, but left him stranded here in little shards that he glued together as if reuniting estranged puzzle pieces. And the ones he still hasn’t found, you took with you.

He wonders.

What do you do with them? Store them in your memory, reliving moments, or are they hidden somewhere in the back of your thoughts, not enjoying the relevance that you still so obviously do in his head?

Taehyung doesn’t move just yet. It’ll get colder once it’s dark, and the early April spring weather will do whatever it wants to. It won’t be gentle to him today, he reckons.

But he still stays seated here, just to take in the world, breathe in the breeze. His apartment is warm but stuffy. A blissful sanctuary that’s surrounded by invisible bars sometimes. He doesn’t know how to feel about this.

It’s hard to figure out emotions anyway.

He’s over a ton, but not quite all of it. A number of all that occurred still wreaks havoc in his brain, still a burning chaos and source of damned ruination. He doesn’t understand how to feel about most of his days.

And the wind, the dense grey clouds. The rain.

Or the feeling of the drops landing on his hand, running down his thumb when he turns his palm to the sky and it catches the rain. With each second, the pace picks up a bit more, and more and more raindrops touch his skin.

His long digits curl in; strands of his hair stick to his forehead and water drips off his nose and chin. Eyes close. He knew it’d be pouring, but he forgot how intense the universe can actually get. This is quite dramatic.

It’s been a while since it rained like this, too. It did a lot in his apartment, too.

He breathes in, lifting his head for a second, up to the sky and to the falling shower. The colours are far from vibrant and optimistic, but they don’t feel as hopeless as they could be. Maybe nature doesn’t mean to feel sad to others.

Or maybe because there are worse places to be. Right? Wait, why?

Because they hurt less? No, probably not. The pain sits in the middle of his chest, not just at a particular location. Or maybe…

Maybe this is a moment that he can somewhat learn to cherish because of the fingers slowly opening his own. Suddenly but carefully touching his palm. That’s strange, isn’t it?

Would it be weirder if it was a stranger? Or is it crazier that it’s somebody entirely else when he lifts his eyelids again, staring down to his hand and to what grazes him. To who grazes him.

He could swear you weren’t here before. Your smiling, soaking wet self, head tilting when he comes to look at you. The silver shines into his eyes, and he remembers. Remembers the earrings you’d always wear, sporting them when the three of you found a pleasant café or spent your evening bickering over ludo.

Taehyung looks at you. Looks at you carefully, just to ensure it’s you. You’re timid at first; this is your expression, alright. So distinctively you. How your eyes drift down when he gulps; and how you blink, your smile a tiny bit unsure.

Taehyung remains as mute as he hates to be, and eventually, you start with, “Hi.”

It takes another second of embarrassing shock. Then, “Hey… hey.”

He uprights himself, shifting on his spot, his coat stuck beneath him. Staring at the hand, he never closes his fingers around your warm skin; no matter how tempting, it’d be wrong, wouldn’t it?

So what are you doing? Why are you doing it; where did you appear from? It has been a while since he basked in your presence at all… so what’s going on?

“I, uh… I was,” you start, dampening your already glistening lips; he misses them like a bitch, “out and saw you here.” You look around; the area is blurred to Taehyung. “What are you doing?”

“…What are you doing?” Taehyung doesn’t mean to blurt it out like this, but his tongue doesn’t practice restraint at all. He snaps back into the moment, feet firm on the ground. Clearing his throat, he tells you, “It’s pouring.”

“So it is. But I’m not made of sugar.”

“You will get a cold.”

You roll your eyes. The audacity; the corner of his lips twitches up. “You’re not immune to these things either, you know, Tae? Being sick will hurt you, too.”

Now he surrenders; snickers a bit. Slick trait of yours, being this charming without realising it. Guess that has always made you desirable to others; you make people feel comfortable.

And it’s torture, how you’re still you. When he knew you better, you’d blabber such things, too. How sickness aches, how the cold leads to heat. You’d be surprised if you knew just how sick he’s been, and just how much the million passed seconds hurt.

God, if the flicker of guilt didn’t spark in him, he’d probably tread through this moment easier, too, relish the rush of hormones speeding through him. This is odd. Not what he expected from your first conversation after so long.

Breathing out an unsuspicious sigh, he finally pulls his hand back a little, just for the sake of appearing natural, and then asks, “How have you been?”

You give yourself a moment to ponder. A strange expression, as if you’re somewhat bewildered. As if your body isn’t yours and as if you’ve beamed in from another reality, differing from whatever you’re experiencing now.

Somehow, you look just slightly like a stranger now, and skilled, you dodge the question like one, too, when you blurt without a notice, “If… I told you that I was sorry… and that I wanted this to be forever—”

What?

He’s gone miles with you; way too far to ever justify. You were the one to pull away. So why is it that you’re this brave now? As if having come to a realisation that you’re attempting to share; that he is gradually trying to duck from.

“Don’t.”

The word leaves him in a whisper, cost him the day’s leftover energy. But you shake your head, gripping his hand again, and insist, “Please let me say it.”

He thinks you’re about to break, water collecting; and a moment later, strangely, your eyebrows kiss. Match his assumption. You utter, just quietly, “I wanted it to be forever… It’s dumb to say that because I can’t have two of these.” You wait again. Bring up a hand, cup his cheek until he meets your damp eyes. “And I’m sorry.”

Sorry… you’re sorry. He is, too. He doesn’t know what for. Or maybe he does — but he has apologised. He has made peace with his mistakes, even if not with the goddamn distance.

So this is… excruciating.

And for a moment, the emotions heighten, as if he’s hyper aware of what you’re feeling. A weird sadness floods him, mixed with his own. He’s on the opposite side of this misery, trapped in something entirely different than you.

But.

He still sees your heart so clearly, as if he was holding it, reading inscriptions. Scars. And he can almost touch, almost imagine the affection you house for him so vividly. What did you? Objectify your feelings and hand them to him?

Maybe something occurred; something celestial, a change in the world. Because he could swear he can read your mind — because you seem to cooperate with each of his thoughts. With how you touch his chin next, eyes glassy. Or how you inhale, as if tormented by something.

He can foresee it all before you do it. Maybe he’s come to know you this well. But the realisation that comes to him next is far more daunting.

Because, in these seconds of confusion, the surroundings changed and the moments changed, far too long but too short, too. Time feels nonlinear and nonexistent. How does he know what’s going to happen?

It’s easy to figure out, isn’t it? He should know. But how could he… even as a human being, a brain has the ability to trick him.

He knows because he’s telling his mind himself, isn’t he? Bending reality, deep in his unconsciousness. He isn’t here, and you aren’t here, and in truth, you’re just a figment of his imagination, a piece of what he conjures.

Just as you have been for the past months.

As the moment lingers and stretches, and then vanishes, Taehyung finds himself slowly pulling out of this fake memory. Wakes in the bed he’s probably already slept a dent into. And as clarity arrives, he realises that it isn’t Thursday, but Friday fading into Saturday morning.

He recalls thinking of little somethings before going to bed. How Thursdays were your favourite day of the week because they nearly introduced the weekend, and that Friday itself was never actually as relaxing as one might think due to all the traffic and the weekend chaos.

It was random yapping and it barely made any sense to Taehyung. But you had seemed to have it thought through, and you spoke about it confidently. Even when sometimes, you struggled to make your thoughts transparent effectively; but that was rare, really.

If anything, he was the one worse at this. You, as the experienced teacher in your trio, knew to win their hearts by a couple of thought out words only.

Honestly, today he thinks you liked Thursdays just because they were the shortest, most effortless days at school.

Taehyung sits up, half a smile at his face as he imagines your excitement about leaving the institution. You’d use many Thursday afternoons to indulge in hobbies or to ask Taehyung to join you for a round of chess because you both liked the game.

He was never competitive, but you were. But you both knew to entertain each other. Sometimes, you did feel like a mirror to him, as if he was staring at his reflection.

Both of you knew what to say; when to say it.

Taehyung ruffles through his messy hair. It’s gotten longer; changed along with the world. But why is this feeling in his stomach still the same? Why is he still trying to relive what was? He should probably set his priorities straight; his brain is a mischievous traitor.

As he clicks his tongue, light breaks through the dark night. The phone on his nightstand beams when a random notification chimes. He grabs it, sighs at the G-Mail thing leading to some Reddit post. Then, checks the time.

Or, passes some time. He doesn’t know yet; he won’t fall asleep right away. Might scroll for a bit.

Cruel, how he’s here thinking of you, all weird and still nostalgic, and you’re probably sound asleep. Dreaming about anything but him. 

At least that’s what he’d suppose now. You don’t ever message him, never call. He’s aware that you still have his number, and that he hasn’t deleted yours, either. Both of you still follow each other on social media, too.

Just today, you posted a picture of a cat, nestled in some woman’s arms as your hand petted it. The stranger was mentioned in a corner; probably a coworker. Taehyung didn’t check. He feels creepy enough as it is.

But you still see his rare stories as well; when he decides to upload an orange sunset or reposts his friends’ stuff. These days barely ever occur anymore, but whenever they do, you see them.

Yet, no comment. No reaction. Just looking quietly, just like he does.

He wonders. If it was him who called or said hi, would you respond? You have turned into a fleeting and transient ghost of the past — but would you become a temporary presence if he reached out?

If he… if he scrolled down to your name and pressed the call button right now, would you…

No.

If he gave in now, you’d probably not even notice, and he’d interpret it as you ignoring him. And he’d overthink. It’d backfire. And…

But…

Fuck.

Damn the human mind. Taehyung questions — is it a common problem? A painfully humane one, wanting ideas to be realised once they emerge? Stupid compulsive urge. Why? So he can sleep?

No, probably not. It’s because Taehyung knows he has nothing to lose. Nothing to regret. What more could still happen?

You aren’t his and you never will be.

So his thumb slides across the bright screen, scouring his contacts until he finds you there, collecting dust but never forgotten.

Don’t do it.

The reasonable voice of sanity isn’t wrong, of course, but when has he ever been sane anyway? Didn’t the two of you meet because he was as unhinged as could be? In hindsight, he wishes he could have made a different first impression, and not what he did.

What did you see in him at that moment? When you stepped in, into a room that barely seemed normal. What kind of person was he to you?

Was, is, could and would and should have,

If and when and might.

Nothing to lose now.

Fuck it.

He pushes his thumb onto your name and then the call symbol, phone pressing to his ear with shut eyes and teeth worrying his full lower lip. He’s an idiot, he knows. Still hung up on something like this, as if he never learned at all.

You were a lesson enough, so why is he…

Shit…

The call is going through. He might be waking you. Or you might not notice. And perhaps Jungkoo—

Shit, shit. Jungkook.

Why didn’t he think of the main damn reason you left at all? If this doesn’t disturb your nightly peace, Jungkook might register it. Is Taehyung screwing up again?

He brings his phone to his lap, ogling at the screen, thumb already floating over the button to hang up again. Because he can’t do this to you and himself and his best friend, so he should—

“Hey?”

The ringing stops; your voice nearly gives him a heart attack. A shiver inundates his entire body, the hammering beneath his chest aggressive and loud. And the dense fog… it’s shrouding his mind.

He listens in closely, wondering whether he hallucinated your voice, whether it was as unreal as his dream. But a moment later, he hears you again, his name penetrating the silence like a knife, “Tae?”

You sound groggy. He’s heard this very tone so many times before. He musters up whatever courage’s left in him and responds, “Hi.”

“…Is something wrong?” you immediately ask. “Are you okay?”

Of course that’d be your initial reaction. The first conversation after all this time, in the dead of the night. Why would he call if not for a favour or when in absolute need? But it’s neither, is it? This is something entirely else and there is no proper word for it.

Well, stupidity, perhaps.

“No,” he answers, “I just—” His mind is befuddled, no clear thought. He isn’t quite sure what he wants to say; maybe he should’ve prepared a script, something with reason and justification. Instead, he babbles, “I never got to tell you.”

Silence again.

He hears some shifting on the other end and a slight groan, still yours and not Jungkook’s. There are quiet steps, as if you’re distancing yourself from your sleeping boyfriend, to be able to listen to Taehyung’s thoughts properly.

Knowing something is up. Taehyung knows anyone would, but he can’t help but think of the mirror again.

A door opens, and then, a door closes. You whisper, “Wait,” before you let out a breath, probably, surely plumping onto the couch he still knows. “Taehyung…”

“Yes.”

“What’s wrong?”

“…Where’s Jungkook.”

You clear your throat; the sofa shifts, and you sound more relaxed, as if you leaned back. You tell him, “In the bedroom. I stepped out for a sec.” Pause; and then again, “What’s wrong?”

“I was thinking of you and,” he lowers his head, the stillness between you a burning pain, “and I wanted to say hi.”

You laugh a little, followed by a hearty yawn. But you’re not bored, just exhausted. Still here, still jesting when you ask, “At,” another break in speech, “half past three, huh?”

“Hey, I don’t choose what my brain chooses to dream of.”

You stop laughing. The recurring silence fills your conversation; both of you seem to be arranging your thoughts, necessarily so after this long. Then, you state rather than ask, “You dreamed of me.”

“Yeah…”

“Was it…” you start, but then exhale, trying again, “What was it? A memory?”

“No… not really.”

“Something familiar?” He hears you shifting, your voice clearer. Sweet and tender. “I reckoned that’s what you… never got to tell me?”

“No… no, it was nothing,” Taehyung lies. “There was just rain. Us talking.” And then, some truth, “We apologised.”

You wait, voicing a sound of interruption and uncertainty, before you inquire, “Why would you apologise?”

“Because… it’s not like the time we had was so stress-free.” Taehyung stares up to the ceiling, leaning forward with a hand rubbing his forehead. “Maybe that’s what I needed to tell you. Apologise for what I did to you.”

“You… you didn’t do anything to me. I had fun, Tae,” you assure, your voice defeated. He can imagine what you look like; fallen face, droopy eyes, beautiful lips suggesting grief. “I don’t blame you for anything, you know? Just… not everything lasts. And it’s not your fault.”

“Maybe not everything is supposed to last.”

You don’t say anything, and he takes a deep breath. He knows you’d agree if you weren’t so cautious still, cherry picking your responses. And as you think it through, he imagines you looking out of the window; so he does, too.

His eyelids are heavy with sleep, and he’s so incredibly sorry that he’s robbing you of the sleep you love so much as well. But it’s not just him drowning in this moment, he thinks. Because you keep the words flowing, eventually ask, “How have you been?”

“I… I’m fine.” Closest to what’s true. At least in the grand picture, physically and all. He’s not dying, doesn’t feel like he is anymore. “Living.”

“Yeah?”

“It’s been alright,” he fiddles with his blanket, a stray thread, plays with his thoughts. “And you?”

“I’m good, too.”

“Good. I’d be mad if you weren’t,” he adds quietly, painfully uncontrolled, “I didn’t let you go for nothing.”

He squints his eyes shut, trapping his lip between his teeth. Maybe he should be more careful. He resists the urge to groan over his idiocy when you respond, “Yeah…”

But it doesn’t end here, does it? Taehyung might already be a fool for saying all these words in this constellation at all; but the dumb courage won’t falter yet. He reminds himself… nothing to regret anymore…

“Can I ask you something?” he lets out. “I might not want to hear the answer, but I think I will hate not doing it, too.”

You sound more unsure by the minute. Perhaps he’s putting you in a situation you’re not too fond of — but you’re an honest soul. If you wanted to leave, he knows you would. Instead, you say, “…Yeah.”

Now or never. One, two, three. Three, two, one.

Taehyung gulps and then—

“Did you ever love me?”

Your answer is, as expected, not immediate. In fact, you don’t say much at all, leaving the conversation wordless for a moment. It takes patience and sucking in some more oxygen until you finally mutter—

“Maybe.”

The sting is sharp and fiery, and he curls the hand on his forehead into a fist. It remains there, eyes still closed, as if to press against the hot head and calm the overwhelmed brain behind it. It’s so fiercely hurting over what could have been.

And the guilt pricking steps in immediately, too, thinking of the man in the other room at your place; how Taehyung never wishes him ill and how he is still selfish enough right now to wish you had ended up being his.

“Maybe, yeah?” he then asks.

“I wasn’t sure back then,” you tell him, still nearly whispering. “A ton was going on and now…”

“You’ve forgotten what it felt like.”

“No. I don’t think that’s it. And I don’t think I’ll ever forget you.” Taehyung sighs in defeat, hardening his jaw. Fuck. “You don’t seem to understand what you meant to me. But. I’m not at that spot anymore, so I can’t tell you without feeling like I’m… possibly distorting what it truly was.”

“Whatever it was,” Taehyung says, “he was bigger anyway. And I understand, you know? I do.”

“I… If he wasn’t,” you start, slowly, as if you’re not actually keen on saying what you have to say. But as Taehyung already deducted once more — honest soul. “I would’ve chosen differently.”

Yet another pause. Taehyung only nods, though you can’t see any of his movements, any of his expressions. You continue, “Maybe I’ll always feel some of what I used to for you, but— leaving him will never feel right. Jungkook is what I’ve always known.”

“I know,” Taehyung immediately chimes in; how much more can he hear? He asked for it, so when will he learn? “I know he is. It shouldn’t be any other way.”

And he means it. Wishing otherwise doesn’t erase his respect for him, does it? You mumble another, “Yeah,” before Taehyung adds, “It was nice hearing from you again.”

“You too, Tae.”

“Take care of yourself. I’m sorry for waking you up so late.”

“It’s okay.” You sniffle, but you’re not crying as you were in his dream. Just a habit, or an emotional toll. But you’re so achingly kind; how does one forget about you when you say things like, “It was important to you. So it’s okay.”

“Thank you.” Taehyung lets go of the jogger’s loose thread, fist opening as he says, “And hey. Do tell Jungkook about this.”

“Oh… yeah. Somehow I thought you’d tell me not to.”

“Really?”

Taehyung smiles. There was a time when he was in love and evil enough to make the wrong decision. But he knows that at his core, he’s good, and that you wouldn’t have fallen for him if he wasn’t. He needs to live by this very goodness.

He asks, “So, would you’ve kept this from him?”

You think. Only for a short second before you admit, “No. Because he should know. And because this isn’t anything wrong. Him not knowing would feel wrong, though.”

“Exactly. I’m no different, you know? I’m offended you wouldn’t think a bit better of me.”

You laugh again, a lovely sound. Just the right thing to end the day by. And as your snicker ebbs down, you find your voice again, gentle though it breaks his heart, “Good night, Tae.”

That’s it, then. Time to truly end the story.

“Good night.”

Another whisper from the other side, “Night.”

And then, you’re gone.

As soon as your voice disappears, the wild beating of his heart does, too. But not because the nervousness passes; rather, because it gives way to a void. The farewell in your last word opened it immediately, quickly.

One damn word, so many messages. Wishing him the best, as if permitting him a better future. Maybe you’re hopeful for him. For something lying ahead that he’s unaware of still. He doesn’t know.

For now, all he understands is that he’s alone, and that the moment the connection cut, the vacant space in his chest grew to stay for a bit. But…

Another Saturday has arrived, sunrise not too far.

After all the pain, he’s still gotten here. And he’ll remain to witness many more of these warm weekends, time speeding up once the wounds disappear. Maybe someday.

Maybe someday, his days will stop resembling survival and give way to sweetness, a remedy once more.

this was unedited; i'll do so tmrw. so if there were words missing and stuff, let me know :') i hope you read and liked it, especially if you were around for the ride that ry was back then. if not, then thank you still for being here <3 i just needed to get this out of my system either way, even if nobody read it at all lol. i still cherish them a lot sigh

come and chat with me about literally anything, i'll be thrilled <3

[sohyxn]

UNSPOKEN LONGING⠀───⠀minatozaki sana.

TAGS : fluff, angst, friends to lovers, oblivious sana, pining, reader can't take it anymore 💔, college au

SYPNOSIS : constant rejection makes you decide to avoid sana at any cost. what will happen if sana realizes your absence and confronts you for it?

NOTES : happy belated birthday to our sana, i was supposed to post this yesterday but something comes up. anyway this is really shitty but pls enjoy <3

it was another ordinary day at college, but for yn, it felt anything but ordinary. the weight of unrequited love had become a burden she could no longer bear. countless times, she had confessed her feelings to her friend — sana, only to be met with rejection. but today, yet again yn determine to confess her feelings towards the latter.

yn's heart pounded in her chest as she stood in front of sana's class, waiting for the beauty to finish her class, her hands trembling with anticipation. she had gathered all her courage to confess her feelings once again, hoping that maybe — just maybe this time sana would finally reciprocate it.

after what feels like years, sana's figure finally appeared and yn approached her. "hey sana, there's something i need to tell you," yn began, her voice filled with nervousness. "oh, hey yn, what is it?"

"i've been carrying these feelings for you for a long time, and i can't keep them to myself any longer. i... i like you, sana."

sana's eyes widened slightly, her brows furrowing as she processed yn's words. she let out a soft chuckle, assuming it was another lighthearted moment between friends. "oh, yn, you're always so sweet. i really like you too! you're an amazing friend."

yn's heart sank, the weight of sana's continuous obliviousness hitting her hard. she tried to hide her disappointment, forcing a smile to mask her true feelings. "haha... yeah. anyway, i've got to go, see you sana."

with mixed emotions, yn turned and walked away, her heart aching from the unrequited feelings. yn was exhausted, tired of pouring her heart out and yet again receiving nothing in return. so she had made a difficult decision to finally move on from sana, which is by — distancing herself from sana. and so the process of moving on started.

in the days that followed, yn focused on avoiding minatozaki sana at all cost. from ignoring sana's hellos to avoiding eyes contact with sana.

as yn walked through the bustling hallways, her eyes caught a glimpse of sana chatting and laughing with their mutual friends — myoui mina and hirai momo. the ache in her chest grew stronger. she missed the warmth of sana's presence, the way her smile could brighten even the darkest of days. but yn remind herself that she couldn't continue living in a cycle of heartache anymore.

days turned into weeks, and yn's absence did not go unnoticed by sana. her heart felt heavy and her mind felt confused with yn's sudden distance.

"did i do something wrong?" sana huffed. "quit complaining and just confront her about it sana" mina said. "yeah, you should do that instead of whining about it to us every damn time." momo complained.

the trio are currently in mina's apartment — having a study session that quickly turned into sana pouring her life problem session.

"you don't get it, its just so sudden you know? did she find out about my feelings towards her?. is that why she started avoiding me? she won't even look at me anymore. guys please help me." sana continued rambling. "like i said sana, confront her about it. you won't know what happens to her if you keep complaining and do nothing about it." mina said frustrated with sana's whining.

"fine ugh, i guess i will." sana rolled her eyes as her mind kept wandering about yn.

the next day, sana mustered her courage to confront yn. she found the latter sitting alone in the campus library, her gaze fixed on a book but her mind clearly elsewhere.

"sana?" yn looked up, surprise evident in her eyes.

sana took a deep breath, her voice laced with vulnerability. "yn, why do you keep avoiding me? did i do something wrong to you? please tell me if i did something wrong to you. i miss you yn."

yn couldn't ignore the longing in sana's voice, but her heart was guarded. "sana, you did nothing wrong. i've been busy with assignments and projects, that's all. "

sana's brows furrowed, her eyes searching yn's face for any signs of deception. "yn, i know you well enough to sense when something is bothering you. it feels like there's a wall between us, and i don't know why so please, be honest with me."

yn's gaze faltered, her heart feeling heavy with the weight of unspoken emotions. she took a deep breath, gathering her courage to share her true feelings.

"sana, i can't bear this distance between us any longer," yn confessed, her voice filled with a mix of nervousness and determination. "the truth is, i have feelings for you. more than just friendship. every time we're apart, i feel a void in my heart, and i miss you more than words can express."

"and i've been avoiding you because i thought we couldn't be more than friend, with your constant rejection, moving on is the only thing i could do."

sana's eyes widened in surprise, her heart skipping a beat. she hadn't expected yn to have the same feelings. a sense of relief filled her chest.

"y-yn, i didn't know... i didn't think you'd felt the same way," sana stammered, her voice filled with a mix of astonishment and joy. " and i'm so sorry, i've been rejecting you because i never thought you would like me back, its just too good to be true."

sana took a step closer, her eyes shining with sincerity. "yn if you're willing, please let me take you out on a date."

yn's guarded heart melted, her voice filled with a newfound happiness. "sana, i'd be crazy if i said I don't want to."

a smile spread across sana's face, her hand reaching out to gently touch yn's cheek. "i'm glad we're on the same page, yn. i promise i will take you on the best ever date you've ever had in your life."

and so, in the quiet corners of the college library, yn and sana embarked on a new chapter of their relationship. and in each other's presence, yn and sana found solace, blissfully content in the knowledge that their unspoken longing had finally found its voice — a love that would flourish and endure for a lifetime.

[slytherinshua]

ꕤ　LITTLE FAMILY　( 김영훈 )

genre fluff , parent au , husband!younghoon x wife!reader   cw they have a 3 month old daughter , not proofead   wc 1083 request @yudaies for younghoon + a hand combing through ones hair for the 3k event   note finally finished husband younghoon for your birthday ves 🥹🥹🥹 and a very happy deobi day !!! these delusions still hit so hard like KSJDFKS GIVE HIM TO MEEEEEE   net @deoboyznet @kstrucknet

Your husband crept down the stairs with light feet, careful to make as little noise as possible. You knew then that the mission of putting your daughter to sleep had been a success. She was almost three months old now and bedtime had been a struggle since she was just a few weeks. When she was in yours or Younghoon’s arms, she could easily nap for a few hours, but she hated her crib; acting like it personally offended her daily and even just being placed in it was the worst torture in the entire world. But you were starting to see some progress, even if it was minimal. 

You poured a glass of water as Younghoon settled on the couch and grabbed the baby monitor from the side table. There weren’t any words needed between you both as you traded baby monitor for water, Younghoon gulping it down almost immediately. You adjusted the volume on the monitor for the night, even though you and Younghoon always woke up to even the quietest cries. Perhaps the over-cautiousness towards her that was ever present during postpartum hadn’t quite died down yet. Placing it back down on the table, you settled into your husband’s side and let out the first relaxed exhale you had allowed yourself all day. Work was done, dinner was in your belly, and your very tired daughter had finally fallen asleep. The next few hours were just for you and Younghoon. Younghoon’s palm rubbed your arm, pulling you closer to him.

“I won’t have anything to wear if you keep stealing my t-shirts everyday,” he noted, amused and endeared to find you in one of his graphic tees with designs of different types of bread. 

“You know I wouldn’t mind that outcome,” you smiled playfully. Younghoon giggled at your implication, smacking your shoulder lightly. There was no need for the level of flirty remarks that would’ve made you both blush a bright red years ago when you first started dating. After being married for years, there was hardly anything either of you could say to get the same reaction. 

You were just too comfortable around Younghoon. He knew you in and out and had watched you through the hardest and best times of your life. He was the cause of your happiness, your source of comfort, and your partner through everything. Somehow, he always found a way to brighten up every situation that was going wrong— even when you were in tears over it. He was determined to wipe them away and find some way to make you smile again like it was the only reason God put him on this earth. 

He stayed up in the library with you during late night cram study sessions, even when you could see his eyes struggling to stay open. He helped you move all your boxes out of your old apartment, and then he did it again the very next week after you decided that moving in with him was the option you should have decided on in the first place. He helped you plan all the complicated details of your wedding that were stressing you out so you could focus solely on finding the perfect dress to wear. And he managed to save your intimate gender reveal after the cakery you had ordered from forgot to dye the layers of cake properly. You had never expected the taste of strawberries to make you so emotional. 

Younghoon always solved your problems, whether big or small, caused by serious situations or hormonal spikes. He was as patient as a man could be, and it transferred directly to how he treated your daughter. Even while your patience ran a bit thin with her incessant crying in the middle of the night, Younghoon would always step in and lull her back to sleep. Even if it took an hour. Or two. You weren’t sure how he maintained such fortitude towards everything. He was just as sensitive with his emotions as you were, but during tough times, he was always the rock you needed him to be.

You turned on one of Younghoon’s favourite shows and snatched a blanket from the side of the couch to snuggle under. Your husband liked to play with your hair, a habit he had started back in college after hearing that you liked it. He barely had to think about it now. Whenever you were in his arms, a hand would be threading through the strands of your hair. 

“Do you think she’ll stay asleep tonight? She was so cranky during dinner,” you noted. Usually when your daughter went to sleep easily, she always woke up again soon after. 

“I think we’ll get 5 hours at least. She was tired. Held onto my shirt with an iron grip, it was hard to get her to settle down,” he smiled, thinking of how cute she looked not wanting to let go of him. He loved how clingy she was. If he had the option, he would never let her go. But it was important to initiate the bedtime routine now while she was still little so it would get easier in the coming years. Having a toddler that couldn’t sleep unless in their parents arms sounded like a nightmare coming. Younghoon would have to save the cuddles for the daytime. 

In the meantime, he was more than content with having you in his arms after a long day with no time for relaxing. He focused on the show playing on the TV, shutting down his brain from spinning with schedules and deadlines for work and the usual stresses of family life. Right now, all that mattered was the sleep he would soon get and the spare kisses you were pressing to his jawline in thanks for his hands in your hair. 

He loved quiet moments with you. It reminded him of the days right after you moved in together when every extra hour in the evening seemed special and novel, even though you had spent more than a couple all-nighters together in college. It was even more special now knowing you had your daughter sleeping upstairs, a living representation of your unbreakable bond and love for each other. Younghoon was committed to his little family of three, no matter how long the days were taking care of his baby. Perhaps in the future, you two would welcome a sibling for her too. Younghoon thought that a family of four sounded quite nice.

the boyz taglist (bolded could not be tagged): @eternalgyu,, @blossominghunnie,, @cosmicwintr,, @weird-bookworm,, @haecien,, @lecheugo,, @seunghancore,, @recordsfilm,, @bananabubble,, @cupidslovearrows,, @hursheys,, @gong-fourz,, @arafilez,, @raevyng,, @loserlvrss,, @lexeees,, @cupidslovearrows,, @i03jae,, @kangtaehyunzzz

[rhey-007]

The Mystery of Love

Fernando Alonso family fluff

|| P8 of Fernando Alonso x goth mommy!reader

• | social media au

Summary: You and Fernando prepared some surprises for the F1 world.

Warnings/Tags: fluff, family fluff, female reader, pregnancy

A/N: Another part! Yaaay! :3 Enjoy ❤

Masterlist

. ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ 🥀 ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ F1 NEWS ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Another win snatched by Fernando Alonso, followed but a little surprise on the podium.

Our two time World Champion just proposed to the love of his life! On the podium! F1 fans had never seen such an emotional moment in the driver's life ever before.

Some people are outraged by the quick decision, as the pair had been together only for a year, but neither the driver nor his fiancee seem to care. And good for them!

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ INSTAGRAM ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ INSTAGRAM ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

liked by y/n._.l/n, aussiegrit, oscarpiastri and 305,824 others

tagged: y/n._.l/n

•fernandoalo_oficial: SHE SAID YES 🥳🎉

•kl.au_s: still can't believe she said yes 😵‍💫

→ •lance_stroll: me neither... Still can't believe how she can stand him and now this?! But congrats, still, congrats 😗

→ •fernandoalo_oficial: you're just jealous 🙄

→ •y/n._.l/n: Fernando! >:(

→ •fernandoalo_oficial: sorry Lance...

•aussiegrit: HELL YES! 😈🎉

→ •jensonbutton: PARTY TIME! 👽🎊

→ •aussiegrit: 😎

•sebastianvettel: congratulations brother! ❤

•landonorris: LET'S GOOO PEEPAW! 🥳

•user1: peepaw right now:

. ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ 🥀 ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

"I still can't believe it... "

You sighed admiring the gorgeous ring gracing your finger, while Fernando squeezed your other hand when you waited for your food to come. The moment the debrief finished, you two were on your way to a fancy restaurant for a romantic dinner, to celebrate Fernando's win and your engagement.

Although you've assured your fiance you could do it the next day, as the man was visibly very tired, Alonso insisted and you couldn't say no to those big, puppy eyes of his.

"Me neither. You can't imagine how happy I am that you said yes, mi amor~ I was so nervous you would reject it... "

He admitted sheepishly.

"Why would I? "

Asking confused you gave him a worried look.

"You know... It's been just a year... "

"Oh but that doesn't matter liebling. I love you and I know well I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I knew that the day we met, I knew that the next day when you didn't get scared of my kids, I knew that when you caught great contact with both Benny AND Klaus... I couldn't wish for a better husband and father to my children"

Smiling sweetly you placed a kiss to Fernando's palm, just before your food arrived.

. ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ 🥀 ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

"I have a surprise for you~"

You bit your finger, catching Fernando's full attention, as earlier he was working out while talking with you. He stepped out of the treadmill then wiped the sweat out of his forehead, flexing his neck. Oh how you wanted to sink your sharp teeth in that beautiful skin of his... Instead you layed on your couch bored, waiting for him to come back home for the break between race weeks...

"You do? What is it? "

He asked curiously, excitement and impatience painted on his face.

"You'll see when you come back home~"

You said teasingly.

"I'll be there tomorrow. Te Amo! "

Fernando quickly hung up after blowing you a kiss then run back to his hotel room to pack his bags. And as he said, so he did. The next day late at night, you heard your buttler let someone in. Before you've managed to leave your office, Fernando burst in, picking you up happily and hugging tightly. He put you down, kissing you passionately then grabbed your hands and asked.

"What is it? What's the surprise? And why are you up so late?! "

Placing a chaste kiss to his lips, you made him go quiet.

"Mon cher, the kids are asleep"

You reminded.

"I had something important to finish, don't be mad"

"I'm not mad, just worried"

He admitted. It seemed that he took a way better care of your health than you yourself did, as whenever he was gone you stayed up late almost every night.

"Soo... What's the surprise?"

The man asked one last time. You smiled softly, then took out a present bag from underneath your desk and handed it to him. Looking inside he noticed an envelope and a black piece of fabric.

The moment Fernando took a T-shirt out of the bag and saw the print on it, he quickly ripped the envelope open. Tears started running down his cheeks as he read the content.

"I-Is it.. Real?... "

He asked, voice shaky, as you wiped his tears away and cupped his cheek lovingly.

"It is... You're going to be a father"

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⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ INSTAGRAM ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

liked by fernandoalo_oficial, jensonbutton, maxverstappen and 105,824 others

tagged: fernandoalo_oficial

•y/n._.l/n: we might or might not have been veeery busy 🤭

•landonorris: IT'S YOUR FIRST TIME AND YOU ALREADY LANDED TWO???

→ •fernandoalo_oficial: I'm a real man after all 😎

→ •landonorris: says who? 🤨

→ •fernandoalo_oficial: everyone.

•kl.au_s: another two weeping angels... Great...

→ •y/n._.l/n: meanwhile you the moment they are born:

→ •fernandoalo_oficial: exactly 🧍‍♀️

→ •user2: poor bro's been exposed by his own mother...

•jensonbutton: •aussiegrit WE'RE GONNA BE UNCLES! JDBSSNSKMZMS

→ •aussiegrit: fucking finally 🙏

→ •frnandoalo_oficial: says the childless one - _ -

→ •aussiegrit: I have Oscar alright? He's more than enough ❤

→ •y/n._.l/n: that's so cute 🥰💕

•susie_wolff: I admire that you have so much strength to welcome 2 more kids while you already have 3, good luck and congratulations honey! ❤

→ •y/n._.l/n: thank you Schatz! (Darling)

→ •fernandoalo_oficial: 3? 🤨

→ •lance_stroll: she's talking bout you grandpa

→ •fernandoalo_oficial: 😲 •susie_wolff you did NOT

→ •susie_wolff: 😁

•user: does Benny know tho? 🤔

→ •y/n._.l/n: not yet 😉

→ •user: reaction video incoming??? PLEASE!

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ INSTAGRAM ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

liked by y/n._.l/n, lance_stroll, landonorris and 405,824 others

tagged: y/n._.l/n

•fernandoalo_oficial: this one's for the kids 💪😎 (all 4)

•user: so glad Fernando doesn't forget about the ogs now that Y/N's expecting 💪

→ •user: that's what true parents do, and our champ is ready to become one!

•maxverstappen1: another luck charms! You're too lucky! 😉

→ •fernandoalo_oficial: I'm just better 😝

•oscarpiastri: damn... leave something for us pops...

→ •fernandoalo_oficial: no, thank you 😚 3rd WDC incoming! 😈

→ •maxverstappen1: you wish!

→ •landonorris: YOU wish!

→ •charles_leclerc: you both wish 🤭

•lewishamilton: surprises after surprises... Chill brother, chill

→ •fernandoalo_oficial: nahh, I'm gonna snatch another win next weekend 😎

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ INSTAGRAM ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

. ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ 🥀 ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Just after Fernando finished filming and him and Klaus left the room, Benny's smile dropped. He tugged on your sleeve then whispered.

"Mommy? "

"Yes honey? "

"I'm so happy I'll be a big brother but... Doesn't that mean you and papa are gonna forget about me and Klausie?... "

You sighed heavily, sitting down next to your son and tugging him to your side.

"Oh baby... Of course not. We're not gonna forget about anyone, no one is going to be left out, you don't have to worry about that. We're going to divide our love and attention equally between you two. Sure, the babys' will need then more sometimes, but it won't change anything. I promise"

You said placing a kiss to Benny's head while he hugged your side.

"Okay. I believe you mom"

. ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ 🥀 ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Tag list: @morgan-getty @lichterfee @ashy-kit @champomiel

[pollux-starsz]

as i was working on a beach day writing for @wyervan 's dca slasher au (check them out btw!!!! :D) i had the impulse to draw out the outfit Kalamela is wear throughout the entire thing (because im awesome and i did NOT make Smoon flustered over her for no reason in this writing, which is yet to be finished , I'm procrastinating..)

I absolutely adore how I did the coloring for this one! Also I'm getting better at shoes XD

Rambles below the cut!!

- So, I had this little thought about Kalamela's cooking. I kept thinking, she doesn't have as big as a sweet tooth as people would think. But she LOVES savory and spicy food, so I think she'd like to try different spices with Moonie. There hasn't been a time yet where it's too much but who's to say she won't burn her tastebuds one day.

- Since she's living with them, (save her) I can't help but think she would be very upset with the Slasher boys if her pets announce the slightest amount of annoyance towards them. She WILL make them get treats for her babies.

- She paints her nails a lot, so I think she'd paint Sun's as well!! Not that he has a choice, she needs to know how the colors look.

- Her and Moon playing DDR except it ends in a brawl because Moon lost (not surprising but Sun did make them both clean the arcade afterwards).

- I keep picturing Moon having an odd interest in gum. He just likes the different types of flavours, textures or just how they look.

- Sun's over working ass getting sick and being taken care of by Kalamela but cue Moon making fun of him for being coddled.... He also got sick two days later from Sun so now BOTH of them are being coddled. Kalamela doesn't like it, she thinks they should both do their shit themselves but thanks to her heart of gold and 3 containers of ice cream waiting for her in the fridge, she pushes on.

- Do not let Kalamela dress them in her choice of clothing style(s). It happened as an attempt many times, but when she finally got them to actually wear the outfits (out in public as well), she was ignored for about a week. Mostly by Moon, Sun actually took a liking to it all.

- She made them wear one of her dresses and try on a few skirts. Moon and Sun bickered over who could rock it more. The answer is both of them, by the way.

- Kalamela got sick for a full two months during winter and the boys schedule consisted of "Wake Kalamela", " Feed Kalamela (and fail)", "Wake Kalamela", "Get Kalamela out of the bedroom (50/50 attempt)", "Give up (She wouldn't budge)", "Continue with our day (They also gave up with her bullshit)".

- Kalamela speaks entire conversations with them in Czech and they can't do anything but smile and nod. Moon can pick up a few words and Sun.. can really only make out what sounds like a curse word.

- Mango learned to say Sun and Moon's names and never shuts up. Moon likes it until he's sleeping and gets woken up, Sun got fed up within the first hour.

- Moon, when he was drunk, also got Kalamela drunk. Which then led to them running out into those large, open grass areas off the side of highways. Yes, Sun had to supervise them.

- Kalamela doesn't understand U.S. currency sometimes, despite now living in the U.S. for years now. Sun and Moon both help to convert the currency difference for her, she always feels bad that they need too. Doesn't stop her from complaining about the prices, of course!

- Moon is so smitten for her, he bought her too many flower bouquets for her birthday. She kept them all and also planted a few of them outside her house! Sun still thinks he needs to chill, if you ignore his list of 500 Valentine's Day gifts to get her. Obviously, Moon is the more crazy one! Totally not Sun! How could he ever!

- They all sit on the couch eating pizza and fries on Sunday's. They watch random TV channels until they all fall asleep or end up complaining about their day.

- Sun and Moon visit Crystal Cove so often that they both have their own little discount and have keys to the building. They get to thank Kalamela for that one.

Bonus doodles of her because I was practicing poses and perspective (kill me now)

[yooglefics]

The casual type: 05 . The art of paying attention

Pairing: Min Yoongi x fem!reader Wordcount: 3,354 words Genre ( for the whole series ): AU. College!verse. Strangers to friends with benefits to ???. Eventual smut. Hurt / comfort at times. Fluff for cute friends. Summary:  ( Series ) • Hobi and his girlfriend set you up with a friend of hers to help with whatever happened months back. However, no one really expected things to end the way they did. ( Ep. 05 ) • Sometime the little details mean more than people think. More info under read more.

Includes ( this chapter ): The squad<3. Subin my love. And other new characters. A kind of out of nowhere jump in time ( just a few weeks ) because the writing just flowed like that, I don't know what to tell you. A mini-drama ( this is the spoiler I posted on ko-fi the other week ) and a bigger drama.  Author's note: so… I'm sorry this took so long to be updated Y_Y As you may know, inspiration hasn't been too good these days, but after some lovely comments and knowing people are interested in this story, I finally finished this chapter, so thank you! Also, let me know if you figured out what the drama was before the end, or if you had a theory about it, etc. Hopefully you like this one, and remember to leave a comment, reblog, send an ask, follow or what not, to help my motivation. Thank you for reading <3

“Kang Subin, queer and honorable member of the divorced parents club.” Is how your roommate introduces herself friday night, pointing to the latter as the reason she is only now, a month after classes started, arriving to campus and the city in general. 

She says her dad insisted on doing a year abroad as he did, assisting to his Alma Mater and hopefully fall in love with the city to move full time with him. And she did love it… a little too much. She admits the change of scenery was liberating, she could be a totally different Subin from the one in Seoul, and sadly that meant neglecting her notes and putting at risk her art history degree.

You're glad to note she will be joining you ( and some of your friends on occasion ) for classes, since she managed to keep her notes high enough to not lose her first semester. And then you spend the weekend getting to know each other, practically becoming friends overnight. Subin says it must be a you thing, and shaking your head no, you confess essentially begging the administration for a roommate because you're stuck with silly boys and all girls hate you because you aren't cool like them. She laughs, asks if that means the plan is making everyone hate her too and be stuck with you. And you freak out a little, but her laugh keeps flowing across the dormroom and you know she is joking; you know that things would be fine.

Monday arrives and between classes, you continue to give Subin small tours of the campus, mostly the art building and where all the vending machines are. 

“There's more than I thought, could you make me a map?” She jokingly asks.

“I'll ask Jungkook for the one we made last semester,” you know he has it because it was offered to Yoongi before.

“Hey, y/n!” calls Taehyung, appearing at the other end of the hall with Yoongi, and when he asks “you got some gum?”, you know they were just on a smoke break.

“Oh, hi, Tae. Nice to see you.” Sarcastic tone all over it, “are you having a nice morning?”

He rolls his eyes and Yoongi laughs at his side.

“Sorry, I'm actually not. And I'm running late,” still you give him a look and as a little kid he repends. “Hi, you guys look pretty today, as alway.” He adds before you can argue anything, and only then Subin chuckles, understanding this must be part of your dynamic. “Do you happen to have some gum for us, your lovely friends?”

“Yes, actually.” Taking one strap off, you move your backpack to your front, looking for the little package they keep stealing from. “Here,” you hand one wrapper to Tae, who starts running in the other direction immediately, screaming how much he loves you. And a “nice to meet you!” to Subin.

Everyone laughs, Yoongi turning back in your direction after Taehyung disappears down the hallway.

“You want one?” You ask and before being able to stop yourself, you add, “Is cherry, though” 

“Of course it is,” he smiles and you look away, pretending it's only to search for another one to offer Subin. Memories of friday’s night invading your psyche and shyness your whole body. 

Well, that's your own fault.

“Thank you,” she says, looking at the two of you while unwrapping it. “I'm Subin, by the way, the new roommate.” 

“Oh, she actually found one!”

“Just hoping she doesn't abandon me too,” you pout and Subin wraps one arm around yours.

“Never.”

“Yoongi,” He introduces, thumb pointing to himself and then behind, “And that was Taehyung, but I guess you'd meet the whole squad later.”

“Ah, yeah. I've been told she collects cute guys.”

“Did someone actually say that?” Yoongi asks when you're not even surprised.

“Yeah and when I asked about girls she looked relieved,” subin goes on, “I actually wanted to know, you know.”

Yoongi and you laugh, “someone doesn't like competition,” both say in unison.

“I told you, they lied.”

“Well, I can't really say that yet. I've to look first,” Subin insists, walking through the cafeteria's door. And it doesn't bother you because it comes from a place of curiosity and not horniness. No shame to anyone, your friends are hot, but you've known them for so long and know they have other great attributes that sometimes it feels superficial and it bothers you.

Besides, as a friend, you need to keep their egos just high enough to be healthy for everyone involved.

“Listen, kids,” calling for the table's attention, you stand in front of them, “this is Subin, my—”

“New roommate?” Asks Jungkook, remembering the text you sent, and you nod excitedly.

“That's Jungkook, he is in music and sports.”

“Which ones?”

“All. Some. We don't have time for that,” you joke, but only continue with the rest of his introduction after the youngest clarifies is soccer and box this year. “Oh, he also takes an art class with Taehyung and I, and now you, this semester. You know Tae from earlier, the one who keeps stealing my gum.”

“You're the one that tells me to not show up to class with cigarette breath!” He pushes back against accusations.

“I think she wants you to buy your own,” Jimin suggests.

“Or quit,” adds Hobi and the table laughs even more.

“That’s Hobi, the group's mom.” Tae offers after.

“Does that make Mai the dad?” Jungkook asks, with a serious expression on his face.

“I'm telling her so,” Yoongi says, already phone in hand and texting his best friend.

“You'll have to meet Mai later, she is great,” you continue, “but Tae is in arts. And Hobi and Jimin, are both dancers,” index finger pointing at their direction as you say each name, “and well, you already know that's Yoongi, he is in music too.”

“And the last new guy, right?” Subin remembers from your talk earlier after she met him for the first time, “I guess I took your title.”

“Are we enemies now?” He jokes, “I was about to offer you my chair, but now I don't know.”

Again, laughs all around and before anyone can think about the sitting arrangement too seriously, Jungkook is standing up, saying he needs to go back to the house before his next class.

“Oh, you are the biker from friday!” Subin exclaims as Jungkook’s helmet comes into view, everyone turning to look at her, “can't believe I forgot to ask you.”

And then five pairs of eyes are on you, all but Yoongi's, since he doesn't need an explanation. 

“...What?” Asks Tae, finally.

“Had to call her to my rescue because I lost my key and from the hallway's window I saw someone drop her off on a motorcycle,” she explains, “that's when the girl told me about you collecting cute guys.”

“But that wasn't me,” says Jungkook.

“Yeah, you weren't with us that night. We were all at the house, so who was it?” Ask Jimin, and the curiosity in his voice makes you nervous. You have never lied to them, and starting right now without preparation is terrifying.

However nothing compares to the feeling on your stomach when Yoongi answers, “it was me, actually.” And without a beat, your friends are looking at him now, “What?”

“You what now?” Mister interrogation Tae goes on, “Why were you together? What time was it? Was it late?”

“You were alone? Why?” Asks Hobi.

“We can't hang out now?” You ask back, wasn't he who set you up in the first place? And yes, it didn't turn out the way they planned it, but wasn't the whole premise to get to know Yoongi?

“Not what I meant,” he corrects, “Just… you didn't say anything.”

“Well, you guys canceled, what were we supposed to do? Not do anything just because you weren't with us?” Yoongi answers before you. 

“And we just hang out, you know, eat junk food and chat. Nothing to write home about.”

“Aww,” coos Jungkook, sliding his arm over your shoulders, “does that mean you missed us? You really love us, uh?” you pull back, sticking your tongue at him and pushing him towards the exit, telling him to hurry because if he is late to class you aren't covering for him again.

Thankfully, that's enough to get them off your back and Subin’s arrival provides better entertainment through the lunch hour, as your friends don't hold back on their questions to get to know her. And you're glad they seem to like her as much as you do.

“So… should I've not mentioned the bike thing?” worries Subin later, when everyone has left and is only her and Yoongi at the table.

“Don't worry about it.” He reassures her, offering a tangerine slice when she doesn't return the smile. “Seriously.” 

Is not her fault, he thinks. He can't blame the guys either for wondering and going into big brother mode as soon as they hear you're hanging out with someone, since the prevalence of that is not the best right now. And although he does feels bad about keeping things a secret from them, mostly Hoseok, who Yoongi himself give the “you better be careful with what you do with my best friend” talk, it consoles him a bit to know that the both of you are on the same page with what you have. 

Maybe if they knew it wouldn't be a big deal, he thinks. Better him than anyone else, right?

Putting away your phone and with the excuse of going to the bathroom before class, Subin and Tae follow their journey to the second floor without you and without suspecting anything. As you walk in front of one of the classrooms, a hand wraps around your forearm and pulls you in.

“What th—!” scream is interrupted when you recognize Yoongi. “You almost gave me a heart attack! I could've punched you.” And with adrenaline still running through your body, you actually push his shoulder with less force than you first intended.

“Ouch.” He rubs the place you hit, dramatically, as he explains, “Sorry, I panicked. There were people around and I didn't want to scream your name”

“Yeah, we should be careful after what happened at the cafeteria. Good save, by the way.”

“You own me,” he quickly returns.

“I do not,” you deny, crossing your arms, “You were the one insisting on going into the parking lot, I told you to leave me at the gate.”

“Well, forgive me for being a gentleman.”

You laugh, “and modest.”

Yoongi smiles, relaxing his body against the wall beside the door, “are you telling Subin about us?” he asks before you can question him about why he asked to meet.

Uncrossing your arms, you fiddle with your nails instead, scratching the acrylic paint off of them. “What is your opinion on that?”

“You can't answer a question with a question, miss.”

“Well… I don't know.” Is your final answer after a few seconds of silence. “She is cool and I really think we’re going to be friends and maybe I can gossip to her about you.”

He chuckles at that.

“And also she said sorry and asked if it was supposed to be a secret.”

“Really?” Yoongi sounds surprised, “She asked me that too earlier and I told her to not worry.”

“I feel bad about it because it seems like she is actually worried she messed up,” you share, “maybe I should just come clean. Only to her, at least. But of course not, if you don't want to.”

“No, it's okay. I think is good you have someone to talk to. And she seems nice.”

You nod in agreement, relieved you don't have to start hiding things from Subin as soon as you two met.

“Also,” Yoongi goes on, holding your hips and bringing you closer to him. You allow him to without much thinking. “It was nothing to write home about?”

“What?” 

“Friday night, you said that earlier.” 

“Did your ego get hurt?” You tease.

“No. But I didn't know you were a liar.” he throws back and you laugh. “I'm going to call you Pinocchio now.”

At that, you gasp, “stop giving me nicknames!”

And your attempt to pull away is just that, an attempt, because between laughs he holds you closer. “But is funny. And all of them are true.”

“They aren't.”

“Are so.”

“I don't like you.”

“That's not what I got from friday.”

“Yoongiii—.” you gasp again, his laugh louder this time.

Wanting a clarification stops him from dumping his phone back into the duffle bag and so, throwing the strap over his shoulder, he makes his way over to Chris and other teammates. 

“Are you ready to go?” His roommate asks, and Yoongi nods, “good, I'm just waiting for Ha-ri.” 

“Hey!” As they turn around, it is not difficult to recognize her as one of the cheerleaders since she is carrying her pom-poms and all, but is only as they continue talking that Yoongi realizes who she is, “sorry, I was saying goodbye to the girls and planning for next practice.” 

“Don't worry, babe.” 

“You must be Yoongi, hi,” she waves her free hand enthusiastically enough the pendant on her bracelet makes a jiggly sound, catching his attention “welcome to the university. And the team. Go, Bears!”

She seems nice, Yoongi thinks, “Go, bears!” first in the air, he chuckles in response before they all make their way to the parking lot and to Chris’s car.

The drive home is short and filled with questions about his last school and the reason he transferred, which Yoongi manages to give simple and vague answers that satisfy Ha-ri’s curiosity. It definitely helps that he has been questioned about it more than once the last few weeks, giving him more than one chance to practice before today.

The more weeks pass, the less people ask. And soon the mystery of his arrival is pushed to the side as people decide to talk about his accomplishments in the basketball games.

Every now and then someone recognizes him as an ex Tiger's player, and asks why he changed teams, but before anything can get to deep, a “well, now you are on the right team,” or something alike is thrown his way and he couldn't be more glad for the rivalry between the universities.

For what is worth, the change has proven to have been a good decision. Of course he is nostalgic for the past and he misses hanging out with Mai more often, but he has friends, basketball and music. He has even been planning to perform at school events with Jungkook as he did with Jay back then. 

It feels like he is starting to build a new life, and it wasn't as difficult as his brain told him it could be.

With chuseok around the corner the university starts to plan the events for the weekend and some professors feel generous enough to give extra credits for participation. Others just used it as an excuse to make the assignments related to it, that's his and Jungkook’s case.

Yours is the first one, because getting a good grade for hanging out with your friends sounds too good to pass out. That's why for the last few days you have been following them around taking pictures and notes, preparing your article about their performance Saturday night. 

“Are you done?” Yoongi asks from his spot at the end of the bed when you take the headphones off, the ones he made you wear so he wouldn't have to listen to himself on the interview recording.

“Yep. I only need Kook's side and I'm done,” end of the sentence elongates a bit, arms in the air as you stretch your back.

“How long for him to be here? I need him to go over something before he eats and gets a food coma.”

“I'm glad you're already prepared for that,” you giggle, “Because he is not even seeing my texts.”

“He is still busy?”

“Yeah, kissing someone for sure. Does he think I don't have things to do too?” 

“Like making out with someone too?” he jokes, putting his guitar down on the bed, deciding to take a break too.

“Why? Are you jealous?” you tease, trying not to laugh and is surprising when you're met with a serious expression as you spin around on his desk chair.

 “I thought the rule was to tell if there were other people.”

“I'm just kidding,”

“Wow, a comedian.” he rolls his eyes, and you know he is only pretending to be annoyed.

So, you push. “I'm funnier than you, don't get mad.”

“Cocky.” 

“What, you don't find confidence attractive?”

“Oh, I find a lot of things about you attractive.” 

Touche; you think as a smirk appears proudly on his face and makes you turn around, shy reaction at the security of this voice.

And he laughs. Of course.

“Shut up, Yoongi.”

“If you want to kiss me, just do it,” he only has to stretch a bit to pull on the chair, making you turn to him again and bringing you close.

And you do kiss him.

Not only to erase his stupid and attractive gummy smile, but also because you've missed it.

With projects and exams, with Yoongi not only being in a different major but also in his third year, hanging out only the two of you hasn't happened as much. 

You don't mind. You understand that is not a priority and there is something relaxing about it being an unspoken agreement, something that you truthly appreciate. 

But you would be lying if you said that you didn't miss Yoongi's lips against yours and the way his hand cups your cheek, still gentle as he tries to lead the kiss. 

Looking for closeness, your hand finds balance on his tight, making you contemplate ditching the comfiness of the desk chair for a sit on his lap.

“Is pizza night, baby!” breaks through the house before you can make another move, making you jump and pull away on instinct. Moving out of Yoongi's reach, even hitting the desk with the back of the chair as you stand up in record time.

“Careful,” he murmurs and you don't understand why he isn't freaking out. Even dears to chuckle.

“Min, come out!” another voice calls out.

“That's not Jungkook,” you say as a matter of fact, your brain still in shock.

“I'm starting to think he stood us up.” He stands up, looking at his phone still without texts from the younger guy, “Wanna meet my roommates? They have pizza, apparently.”

And your empty stomach makes the executive decision to hide your shame, and disappointment, in exchange for some food.

You're introduced to Jin first, who introduces Namjoon while taking the knife out of his hand with a “let hyung do it.”

“I swear he never lets me hold a knife for more than five seconds,” he says and you find it adorable, but Namjoon seems genuinely confused and maybe a bit hurt by it. 

You wonder what more there's to that. But before you can ask anything, a third roommate comes out of the kitchen, “Is for your own good and the wellbeing of everyone involved,” he says, making your whole body tense as the familiar voice rings through your ears.

“That's Chris.” Jin says, and you almost answer that you know, but for a second it is even hard to breathe.

Nevertheless, you don't need to say anything, because your silence is everything Yoongi needed to confirm that an introduction isn't necessary and in fact, you'd probably rather forget about him. 

Because is him.

The guy who hurt you.

A/N: I missed writing this! again thank you to anyone who has show interest one way or another, you're the reason this chapter was actually finished uwu♡. A/N 2: I'm working on the intros for the characters that aren't part of the squad, and sometimes I ask for your help with fc's suggestions or names, so... that's something to know if you're interested. Send a tip on ko-fi and get some rewards!!

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[mercurygguk]

head over skates · jjk ; part iii.

··· SUMMARY; jeon jungkook is the captain of the hockey team and one of the biggest fuckboys on campus. you happen to have known him for as long as you can remember but he is not who he used to be and you simply can’t stand it.

so what happens when you’re suddenly stuck doing a project with him for three weeks?

SERIES MASTERLIST · # TAG · MOOD BOARDS · PLAYLIST

PAIRING; hockey player!jungkook x f. reader

GENRE; fwb au, childhood friends to enemies to lovers au, college au

WORDCOUNT; 1,255

RATING; 18+

WARNINGS; swearing, a teeny tiny little tension but also, jk is being very sweet :(

a/n; part 3!!! i love doing this little series bc it's so easy to write when the chapters aren't so long <3 i hope all of you enjoy it too despite the fact that it's not a very long read! lmk what you think! ty for reading xx

You didn’t text Jungkook back.

No matter how tempted you were when he tried to bribe you with iced americano – your favorite (which he remembered).

Instead you took it upon yourself and started working on the project without him. Your gut is telling you that he won’t be adding much to the group work nor will he invest the time and energy in it. There’s no reason to wait around for him to actually care about the project when you know that ‘caring’ isn’t one of his primary traits. It used to be but not anymore – if he still cared, he wouldn’t have abandoned your friendship the way he did.

Besides, it’s not like you mind. 

You’ll gladly put his name on the finished product if it means you’ll be rid of him and his flirty, cocky behavior. It’ll only make the process easier and you’ll be able to do it just the way you want. If anything, Jungkook should be grateful that you’re willing to do this on your own and just add his name. Normally you wouldn’t do something like this but you just can’t stand being stuck doing group work with him for three weeks.

Jihyo is right though – it is time to move past it but you can’t. Not yet.

You haven’t spoken to Jungkook in 5 years – that’s sixty months of spite and aggravation that has affected you way more than you would’ve liked. Like you said, you’re not one to hold grudges against people but this particular grudge has been sitting in the back of your mind for half a decade and while you’d love to be able to just let it go, you can’t.

You’re pulled from your thoughts when your phone buzzes due to an incoming text. You reach for it to take a look, your face instantly twisting in annoyance when you realize who’s texting you.

[11:07 AM] Jeon🤬👊🏼: whatcha doing? ;)

You swipe it, removing it from your lock screen before returning your focus to your laptop and the project at hand. You let out a soft sigh and rest your chin in your palm as you play around with the font of the text – Times New Roman suddenly has a whole other meaning after Jungkook’s name was written next to yours the other day.

"It’s good to know your phone works.”

“Oh my god!”

Startled by the low and deep voice right next to your ear, you jump in your seat and turn around with widened eyes. Dark brown eyes with a mischievous glint in them are staring back at you, an amused grin on pink lips as well. You take notice of the two iced americanos in his hand before you’re scowling at your former friend turned stranger.

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to do the project,” Jungkook tells you and holds up the beverages. “I brought drinks.”

“How did you know I was here?” You can’t help but ask, wondering how he managed to locate you. The library isn’t exactly one of the places on campus Jeon Jungkook frequents the most. You’d know since you spent a lot of time here. 

He shrugs, “I saw you when I walked by, went and got these,” he places the iced americanos onto the table, “and came back to join you.”

You gape at him for a moment as he pulls a chair out and takes a seat next to you, not a word of protest leaving you because you’re simply speechless once again. He actually got you iced americano and he genuinely wants to do the project. 

Something doesn’t seem right.

Jungkook glances at you with a smirk when he’s met by silence, “what? Surprised that I actually do my school work?”

You shake yourself off your speechlessness and shrug as nonchalantly as possible, “something like that.”

“I see you took a head start,” he nods to your laptop with a chuckle as he pulls his own out of his backpack. That fucking chunky, black backpack he’s had since high school. Back then you wondered what he carried around in it and every time you asked him, he would only shrug and grin. 

Teen boys and their mysterious behavior.

And just for a brief moment, you see your best friend from high school in front of you, sitting here next to you like back in the day – boyish grin and that same glint in his eye. He looks the same and it’s messing with your head because back then you were crushing hard on him. Jungkook has always dominated that casual, boyish charm and look and today is no different. He’s wearing an oversized white Nike t-shirt and black track pants from the same brand. There’s a yellow beanie on top of his head to tame his messy hair. For all you know, he could’ve gotten straight out of bed and gone to campus after throwing on the first outfit he could find – simple, casual, flattering.

The only difference is the two lip rings and the full sleeve of tattoos.

“Yeah, about that,” you start, shooting him a fake, over-friendly smile. “Don't worry about it – I’ll do the project and just add your name before handing it in.”

Jungkook blinks at you for a moment before recovering, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “why? You're scared I’ll fuck it up or some shit?”

You shake your head, “no, I just prefer working alone.”

“You always do projects with Jihyo though,” he points out, squinting his eyes at you.

“That’s different.”

“Is it? Or are you just saying that because I’m your partner?” He challenges.

How do you tell a guy who’s so used to getting his way and having people go out of their way to make sure he’s happy that you don’t want him as your project partner? That you’d rather do an important project that’s meant to be done in pairs by yourself and risk the possibility of getting stressed out just because you got paired up with him? 

“If I’m being honest, yes,” you tell him, not taking a moment to rethink your choice to confront him but just blurting it out instead. “I would rather work myself into the ground than do group work with you. So if you don’t mind…”

Jungkook cocks an eyebrow as you do a gesture with your hands as if to shoo him away. He looks rather unbothered though, not moving an inch either. He stares at you for a second and if you didn’t know any better, you would almost assume he’s silently challenging you to try again, to tell him off and ‘shoo’ him away like a fucking bird. 

You don’t.

You stare back at him, your face not showing an ounce of anything as you patiently wait for him to get up and leave.

He doesn’t.

Instead the corners of his mouth curls into a faint smirk as he reaches for one of the iced americanos and slides it towards you. He then grabs the other one and turns to his laptop, silently sipping on his beverage while getting to work on the project.

You feel your blood starting to boil a little but you don’t give him the satisfaction of a reaction. Instead, you pointedly snatch up the iced americano, once again turning your focus to the project at hand. You feel his eyes on you but you keep your eyes on your laptop screen, acting as if his presence isn’t affecting you or bothering you in any way.

You then give in and take a sip of the coffee.

Damn it… 

It’s a really good iced americano.